Ten The Hard Way

You are about to witness the sequel to Sophie’s Choice. Takhar’s List. The ten best MC’s according to me. Ten rappers that define the word, any way you wanna break it down. Mic Control. Move the Crowd. Master of Ceremonies. They spit fire and flow like liquid. They have a body of work that kicks sand in the face of every other sucker spittin.’ You better hope you go on before they do, because they won’t leave you a stage to stand on.

10. Treach – King of the hip hop anthem. Captain of the hook. The Naughty by Nature frontman perfected the formula of catchy enough for radio, gritty enough for the street. Using consonance, a speedy flow and melody to rap circles around the listener, he leaves ‘em dizzy, chorus stuck in their head, boot stuck in their ass. Also, responsible for the best live show I’ve seen this year.
Turn-ons: baseball bats, having one pant leg rolled up, other people’s property.

Turn-offs: Jermaine Dupri, Kris Kross, popo, shirts.

9. Pharoahe Monch – Able to shorten words and release them in semi-automatic bursts, or draw them out until they encompass a whole bar, every single time I hear a new verse by him I’m amazed at the new forms he contorts this language into. When Pharoahe tells you to ‘get the fuck up’, there really is no option but to obey. He only has one loss on his record, and it’s to fucking Godzilla!

8. Rakim – I’m pretty sure the first time a rapper’s delivery was referred to as butter, that dude was probably bumping Rakim. I don’t know the last time I saw a list like this without him on it. There’s a reason for that. While others had to scream on the mic to get your attention, Rakim laid back on it and still came off menacing. Cool and calculating, he spun a web with his words, lured you in and had you exactly where he wanted you. Some say he fell off. You got it all wrong, melon-farmers. The art of MCing just finally raised itself to his level. So, “Stick my dick in ya ear and fuck what ya heard.”

7. Chuck D – Whenever Chuck comes in on a track, I feel like I’m in trouble. And I’m not even white! His booming voice is to rap what James Earl Jones’ voice was to Star Wars. No one is more commanding. Others have tried to give their voices as much authority, but inevitably just sound like they’re trying to poop. (See: Sen Dog)

6. Jay-Z –  ”Motherfuckers say that I’m foolish, I only talk about jewels, do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?” Often judged by his wealth or wife, you dickholes that focus long enough will find, beneath those things, a hustler’s spirit, a silver tongue and a superstar’s drive. He’s built or earned everything he’s got. Don’t throw rocks at the throne, peons.

5. Andre 3000 – Scarface is the king of the south, but I’ll take the Prince any day. A musical monster, the Outkast member can play multiple instruments, rap at any speed, his lyrics are great, his ideas truly original, his voice unique. I think Andre was sent here from the year 3000 to save rap. And shun shirts. (See: Treach)

4. Slick Rick – Seems to place top 5 on every list I do. He perpetually sounds like he was just roused from a pleasant dream and says the coolest, oddest shit. “Rain find ways not to drop on my headtop”. Or “Nun’s even say, ‘That motherfucker’s remarkable!.’” Comes off dapper even as he “…wipe [his] ass with a rapper face.”

3. Ice Cube – Cube burst onto the scene with his patented ‘fucking furious’ face like a mugger with N.W.A., and, along with Ice-T, brought credibility to the west coast and incendiary gangster rap to the forefront. At his peak, his writing and delivery were untouchable. On one album he predicted – and on the next, scored – the 1992 LA riots. If he wasn’t the first, he was certainly the best at directly confronting the listener by addressing all of his lyrics directly at ‘you.’ Usually preceded by ‘fuck.’

2. Big Daddy Kane – “I won’t say I’m the baddest or portray that role, but I’m up to top 2 and my father’s gettin’ old.” Nobody had more punchlines than Kane. Exhibit B: “Put a quarter in your ass, ’cause ya played yourself.” Putting on a rap version of a James Brown show, The Hardest Working Man In Hip Hop would proceed to lay out the equivalent of a stand-up’s set in every verse, join in on acrobatic dance routines during the hook, and have you screaming his lyrics for hours after a show while your girl was probably backstage screaming his name. Now, tell me whose flat top ruled in ‘89?

1. Eminem – That’s right. What of it? Slim Shady’s been around long enough now that he fits the only criteria he was missing off the bat: longevity. Lyrics, flow, punchlines, controversy, satire. He’s larger than life, funnier than shit and fearless. As often as he targets others in song, he turns that blade on himself even more. Combining a little of everything I like in all of the others on this list, Marshall Mathers is the perfect MC. “I can’t rap anymore, I just murdered the alphabet…” But if he hadn’t, he’d be shoving those words down the throat of your #1. Believe that.

At ease,

– Nuv

[Ed. Note – Now that Nuv has shown you his, show him yours. Who's on your top 10? Any list with Soulja Boy or Fatty Soprano will be lovingly flushed down the toilet.]

‘Ten The Hard Way’
Choice cuts from the meat of the article.

1. Uptown Anthem – Naughty By Nature
2. Oh No – Mos Def (Featuring Pharoahe Monch & Nate Dogg)
3. Know The Ledge – Eric B. & Rakim
4. Fight The Power – Public Enemy
5. Public Service Announcement – Jay-Z
6. Bombs Over Baghdad – Outkast
7. La Di Da Di – Slick Rick & Doug E. Fresh
8. Jackin’ For Beats – Ice Cube
9. ‘Nuff Respect – Big Daddy Kane
10. Role Model – Eminem