Riddle Me This! is a series of rapid-fire questions, cunningly designed to slowly peel back the stinky onion-layers of that nincompoop Ian, while simultaneously revealing shiny new facets of Nuv. It will be as regularly-scheduled as a Kevin Smith comic (aka whenever the hell we want, and you’ll still like it.)
1. Who is your favourite superhero?
Ian: Daredevil, hands down. The costume, power and sense of community. And the guilt! Maybe it’s the Catholicism, but nobody except for Batman, I would argue, has a rougher time with it. None of Matt Murdock’s girls have survived, with the exception of Elektra (who came back from the dead) and Milla (currently in a mental institution).
Nuv: Superman. Who do you think taught me to wear my undies on the outside?
2. Favourite supervillain?
Ian: Magneto. It seems like such a minor power – control over metal. But what he does with that power is absolutely devastating. And the fact that he’s such a morally ambiguous character really appeals to me. Sometimes he’s a monster, but sometimes he has a real point. He’s sort of the Malcolm X to Xavier’s Martin Luther King, as far as mutant civil rights go. I would challenge anyone to find a super villain who so fully utilizes his powers.
Nuv: Joker. That motherfucker’s crazy!
3. Favourite superhero costume?
Ian: Lady Blackhawk’s. The hat, jacket and skirt = sweet!
Nuv: Batman. If you can tell who it is in silhouette, it’s a great design. Like how Ian’s head looks like a peen, even in blackest night.
4. If you could kill one character off for good, who and why?
Ian: I’d kill off Lex Luthor. I’ve never been a Superman-reader and I think the main reason is I’ve always felt Superman lets his rogue’s gallery get away with too much. Lex Luthor should have been thrown into the sun, or frozen and shattered like glass a thousand times over.
Nuv: Aquaman. He’s fucking useless. His superpower is talking to fish. So, I guess my niece is Justice League material too then, eh? Oh. I forgot to mention: he rides a giant retard seahorse into battle. Menacing.
5. What was your favourite comic book from your youth?
Ian: Amazing Spider-Man #328 where Spidey, juiced on cosmic powers, punches the Hulk into outer space. That issue was so goddamned stupid that I still own it.
Nuv: Good choice. Mine also lisps and dresses well: Action Comics #317. ‘The Rainbow Faces of Superman.’ Just look at the cover. Je. Sus. The grade 3 me had to know what could cause this debacle. Why was our hero embarrassed about having a threesome? What could make the Man of Steel envious? Motherfucker could fly and kill dudes with his eyes! My sack of a friend Jeff beat me to the punch and bought it first. I didn’t find out what was behind this one-man pride parade until credit cards and ebay came into my life. Cause I’m a grown up, mofos.
6. Name a comic run you wish you owned but don’t.
Ian: New Avengers. I knew I should have got in on the ground level of that!
Nuv: Action Comics: The kick-ass grandpa to everything we both love about comics. 884 issues and counting…
7. What do you think is the best series running right now?
Ian: Brian Wood’s Northlanders.
Nuv: Superman: Secret Origin.
8. Name a series that you can’t stand, but that everyone else seems to love.
Ian: Frank Miller’s back-in-the-day Daredevil run.
Nuv: Hellboy. Amazing art and a great character do battle with fucking dull stories. I guess that makes the movies very faithful adaptations.
9. Art-wise, what would you get commissioned, and by who?
Ian: My dream is to have Darwyn Cooke draw Joe Strummer from The Clash.
Nuv: Jim Lee drawing me. Because I’m vain. A close second would be a tight, claustrophobic shot of Superman fighting his way out of a mob of all of his enemies, as depicted by Joe Madureira.
10. If you could choose 3 superpowers, what and why?
Ian: #1 Invisibility! There’s nothing you couldn’t accomplish if you had the ability to be invisible. #2 Mind Control (for super obvious reasons) and #3 some crazy-harsh martial art just in case things went south.
Nuv: Funny – I wish you were invisible too. #1 Healing factor. It’s a more bad-ass, gritty version of invulnerability. Either way, you survive anything. For #2 most people would choose flight. I’d choose teleportation and cut the travel time all-together. #3 Batman’s superpower – the ability to win, no matter what.
11. Do you ever see yourself quitting comics?
Ian: No.
Nuv: Nope. Not even if Mom sells my collection again.
Put two in the air…
– The BIg Two
[Ed.Note - Do you have any questions for our dastardly duo? Leave 'em in the Comments.]
NEXT ISSUE: TIME TRAVEL! TREACHERY! TEEN WOLF! (JUST KIDDING) ONLY 9 WILL SURVIVE!! (UH..ACTUALLY IT’S 18. ‘CAUSE THERE’S 2 OF YOU) …SHUT UP.
TUNE IN: SAME IAN-TIME, SAME NUV CHANNEL…
