The 10 Albums I’d Cheat On My Wife With This Year. And By 10, I Mean 12.
10. The Dead Weather – ‘Horehound‘
Jack White’s 407th side-project. It’s actually fronted by the chick from The Kills. And it does. Hard and heavy, this album is that dive-bar bathroom quickie that you can’t quite remember, but the bruises make you pretty sure you didn’t imagine it.
9. Wolfmother – ‘Cosmic Egg‘
What a band name! Losing every member except leader Andrew Stockdale in the 3 years in between their debut and this album without losing a step, these weirdos make a mean Sabbath/Zeppelin/Vegemite sandwich. Best listened to with kangaroos.
Spring began with a sick release from Rhymesayers’ resident albino. So did Fall. Most people can’t put out one solid album in a year, let alone two. He may have a lazy eye, but that’s the only thing about him that is.
7. The King Khan & BBQ Show – ‘Invisible Girl‘
If Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper got mean-drunk and boned your sister, these are the songs they’d write about it. Happy & dirty. Like a hippie, minus the leg hair. Are they saying they “love her whole (pause) body and soul”? Or they “love her hole (pause) body and soul”? Well, the song is called ANALa…If you’re not already sold: This Canadian duo used to go by the name The Spaceshits. Yeah!
6. Them Crooked Vultures – ‘Them Crooked Vultures‘
Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age and Led Zeppelin(!) cross the streams and dickpunch the universe! Thick with menace, quaking from the thunder of Dave Grohl’s drums, left bleeding by the razor-sharp barbs of Josh Homme and finally ground to dust by John Paul Jones’ absolute abuse of the bass. This album carries around a wallet that says ‘Bad Motherfucker’.
5. Asher Roth – ‘Asleep In The Bread Aisle‘
Fantastic first effort from an amazing MC that gets constant unfair comparisons to Eminem. Yeah, they both have some surface similarities. They’re both white. They have similar voices and inflection. Most importantly, they’re both sick! I can’t wait to see what he does next. Fuck yeah, white people!
4. Eminem – ‘Relapse‘
Yeah. That’s right. It’s on both lists. Fuck it. It’s my list. Em could (and essentially did) sleep through half an album, wake up and ace the rest, getting a pass. Kinda like me in high school. For those that didn’t tune out after the garbage single and listened past the faux-Arabic accent, you will find an unrivaled lyricist flowing like he’s possessed and pulling us with him as he falls off the wagon, reminding us just how a real MC spits: in your face!
3. Royce Da 5’9” – ‘Street Hop‘
You finally did it Royce! You finally stepped out of Em’s shadow. You finally crafted a great album. One or two songs shorter, a few less ‘bid-for-radio-play’ hooks, and it may have been perfect. That said, you blacked out and fuckin’ Marshalled the mic all over this…Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring him up again. Wait. What’re you…Oh. You’re doing an entire chorus scatting? But replacing the ’skeedy-de-bop-op’ with mouth-made gunshot noises? Okey dokey.
Yeah, it’s two albums. You can look at it as a cop-out, but I will justify it thusly:
Though they spin out in wildly different directions, The Black Keys are at the center of both. The former is a team-up with a grab-bag of rappers, the majority comprised of Wu-Tang members. The latter a solo project from vocalist/guitarist Auerbach that, let’s be honest, sounds and feels just like a Black Keys album, even though drummer Patrick Carney is MIA (probably off recording his side-project, the creatively named Drummer). Choosing between the two is like choosing between T and A. Sometimes you gotta have a hand on each, ya know?
1. Anami Vice – ‘They Made Me Do It‘
You can suck my ‘conflict-of-interest.’ My brother-in-arms made an album that doesn’t feel like an album made by someone I know. It feels like a mature effort accomplishment teeming with history, both personal and musical. It feels like a master of his craft flipping every cliché song archetype on it’s ear, and using those formulas to tell the self-deprecating truth without turning emo-kid. Spat with the confidence of a true professional, skill bursting from every syllable. The album title has personal meaning for me, as I coaxed his first performance out of him. Biased or not, this doesn’t feel like an album from that kid I used to rap with in the kitchen. It feels like my album of the year.
[Ed. Note – Nuv's given you his. Why don't you stop being so selfish and give him yours? What albums gave you music boners this year? Leave 'em in the Comments.]
‘Sounding Off On 2009′
One track from each of the albums mentioned above. The rest were taken out back and Old Yeller-ed.
1. Hang You From The Heavens – The Dead Weather
2. Sundial – Wolfmother
3. The Preacher – Brother Ali
4. Little Rodney – Brother Ali
5. Anala – The King Khan & BBQ Show
6. No One Loves Me & Neither Do I – Them Crooked Vultures
7. Lark On My Go-Kart – Asher Roth
8. Underground – Eminem
11. Coochie (Featuring Ludacris & Ol’ Dirty Bastard) – Blakroc
12. This Ain’t Funny – Anami Vice