Nuv: [Previously on The Big Two...] That commie Ian blah-blah-blah-ed up a whole column, leaving no room for the half of the list that matters. If you like homo-erotic Viking lore or boring Mignola comics not even drawn by him, click here. If you like good things that are better, read on.
9. Wednesday Comics (Various writers/artists)
A bold experiment, DC Comics decided to put out their version of the Sunday funnies every week through the summer, but on Wednesday (new comic book day) instead. Each issue had 12 one-page stories, an even split between DC’s biggest characters and their most obscure, as interpreted by an all-star roster of comic’s best artists, and spanning every genre you can think of, from crime noir to sci-fi. Not all of the stories succeeded, and frankly, two of them ate shit (Wonder Woman and Teen Titans) but the ones that hit (Batman, Flash), hit hard. I’d say the experiment was a success. Like that one time in college…
8. Parker: The Hunter (Darwyn Cooke)
A wicked revenge tale, where the protagonist is a ruthless dink but, because everyone else is even more of an a-hole, he’s the hero by default. Worth the price of admission just for the merciless fury that is Darwyn Cooke’s art (covered extensively here) and the silent, opening sequence that shows how he…well, why don’t you just check it out.
7. Detective Comics (Greg Rucka, J.H. Williams III)
One of the best books visually. Ever. That crowhole Ian rambles on and on about it here.
6. Umbrella Academy: Dallas (Gerard Way/Gabriel Ba)
With your purchase, you get: a battle between the Lincoln Memorial and a giant John Wilkes Booth statue, two Tarantino-esque hitmen with teddy bear heads torturing a gay man that speaks to the dead, the V.C.V. (Viet Cong Vampires) all culminating (via time travel) at JFK’s assassination. And that’s not even including our dysfunctional, weird-o heroes. Crazier than a bag full of Margot Kidder, yo!
5. Batman & Robin #1-3 (Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely)
Taking the 1960’s Batman TV show to a horror movie carnival and slipping it the brown acid, the two Scotsmen flip the familiar dynamic of the Dynamic Duo on it’s ear. Bruce Wayne is (allegedly) dead. The original Robin steps into his mentor’s utility belt. Bruce’s illegitimate love-child-by-way-of-super-villain’s-daughter (Fuck, Batman’s cool!) becomes Robin. New super-creep villains that will be right at home next to classics like The Joker in the padded cells of Arkham Asylum. Morrison & Quitely at the top of their g-damn game and out of their mother f-in’ minds.
4. Wolverine: Old Man Logan (Mark Millar, Steve McNiven)
Every hero should get the Dark Knight Returns treatment. That is, an end to their story. This is that. Wolverine basically plopped into the role of Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. 50 years ago something horrible happened. The superheroes are all dead. Logan has sworn to never pop his claws again. Old friend Hawkeye comes knocking and due to circumstances involving an inbred gang of Hulks (yep, that’s what I said) they are forced to go on a road trip, coast to coast, across a super-vilain conquered America, braving such dangers as a Venom T-Rex! The reveal in Chapter 5 of the incident that made Logan sheath his claws for good stunned me on my first read. This comic probably walks around the shop spouting Wolverine’s catchphrase and scaring the other comics: “I’m the best there is at what I do. And what I do, isn’t very nice…”
3. Blackest Night (Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis)
Every DC character that has ever died comes back to life as an evil super-powered zombie to kill everyone else. With the heavy hitters (Superman and Batman) out of the picture, everyone must rally around Flash and Green Lantern and try not to die. Super-hero epic meets the ultimate zombie movie. I read every issue of this with really wide, 5-year-old Nuv’s eyes.
2. Superman: Secret Origin (Geoff Johns, Gary Frank)
The best straight-up superhero writer providing a fresh take (believe it or not) on the oft-told epic origin of my favourite character. Artist Gary Frank draws a Superman that, much like Val Kilmer did with Jim Morrison, embodies the most well known interpretation of him (Christopher Reeves) without resorting to impersonation. Clark’s reaction to the first time he puts on the suit is perfect. These are the types of comics that inspire kids to tie a towel around their neck and run through the house jumping off couches and shit with their shoes on. So, I guess if you have a kid and a nice couch, don’t pick this up. Everyone else, you have no excuse…
1. Whatever Happened To The Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman, Adam Kubert)
Years ago, The Greatest Comic Writer Of All Time: Alan Moore™ was handed the task of writing his version of The Last Superman Story, closing out 48 years of continuity before DC relaunched all of their titles for a new generation. The result was Whatever Happened To The Man of Tomorrow?, considered by many the best Superman tale ever written. 23 years later, when DC decided to do the same for Batman, they reached out to the only other writer ever mentioned in the same breath with Moore: Neil Gaiman. At Batman’s funeral, the cast of characters each goes up and tells a completely different version of how he died. Meanwhile, Batman’s ghost and an unknown (for now) woman watch on. Everything that happens in this story can be interpreted in multiple ways, some of it alluding to the real-world myth of Batman as a concept outside of comics. Adam Kubert delivers the best artwork of his life, evoking all of the different eras and styles from Batman’s 1939 debut till now without it being jarring. Poignant, clever and bat-shit crazy, Gaiman and Kubert deliver a perfect ending to a perfect story. Like if an anvil dropped on Ian right now.
NEXT ISSUE: THE BRAVE AND THE BLAND! THE BOOK OF THE DECADE AND WHATEVER UNINSPIRED DRIVEL THE OTHER GUY CHOOSES.
TUNE IN: SAME IAN-TIME, SAME NUV-CHANNEL…
The Flash Player and a browser with Javascript support are needed..
