Even as a wide eyed, know-nothing, I could sense something morally reprehensible about the dungeon master dudes at the beginning of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves cutting the prisoners’ hands off. Despite the fact that the inmates had been caught stealing, I still felt there was something wrong with the State imposing this kind of violent punishment; and my intuition went beyond just thinking it was harsh.
Last month in Pakistan, two brothers were sentenced – in accordance with what the judge said was the country’s Islamic and “anti-terror” laws – to have their nose and ears cut off. Apparently, one of the brothers had asked for a his cousin’s hand in marriage, she and her family were like “naw,” and so he and his bro decided that they would go ahead and cut the girl’s nose and ears off as retribution for her offense. As majorly effed-up as this is, the court’s ruling in this case strikes me as inappropriate. NOT THAT THEY DON’T DESERVE IT! But when a government starts engaging in this type of brutality, a measure of civility is lost. It’s generally accepted in analytical circles (annoying philosophy dudes with books and pipes and crap), that when the State imposes punishments which mirror the behavior that state laws are meant to prevent, the State itself is not only morally compromised, but risks a breakdown of the system it operates on…
Alright, alright, I can see you getting red in the face and get the impression that a philosophical debate won’t help. So, let’s move on. I’m not positive how it went down, but I’m stoked that the ‘Underwear Bomber’ burnt his dick off. No court ruling, no state imposition, just dumb ass taking a Zippo to his Hanes. In the name of God, shit for brains was trying to kill three hundred innocent people. So God was like, “Hey, shit for brains, have a hot dog.”
Whenever I think of the underwear bomber, I picture Wile E. Coyote roping himself to a foursome of red dyno-missiles. (When doing research for this article, I youtubed a couple of Road Runner bits and was surprised to find that the Coyote actually looks like a terrorist. Or at least he looks like the fiendishly furrowed-brow, red-eyed maniac, pop-culture version of a terrorist.) You just know that he’s gonna blow himself to smithereens and the Road Runner is gonna do that meep-meep/tongue shit and scoot off. Warner Bros. Cartoons and real life don’t often bear resemblance and that’s a good thing. But in this case I’m glad that they do, even if it is rather harsh.
– A.Vice
