Upon Piggy’s typically exquisite A.V. recommendation, we started watching ‘Modern Family‘ before Christmas. This is right now, my most favourite 23 minutes of any given day. They make Wednesday’s that much better. First off, the writing is so much better than an ABC sitcom in it’s first year has any right to be. And the characters? Shit. As much as the character Phil is the absolute pfft-in-your-drink funniest character, everybody else in this show is also such a complete joy to watch. Gloria’s severe Columbian accent should be grating, but it’s not. You want to wear dark lipstick and shake your shit around when she’s on screen; the gay couple Cameron & Mitchell are perfection, and look, Ed O’Neill is here too! A little doughy around the edges, but rich and with a hot wife. Hooray for everyone! Even though I knew ‘Glee’ would win Best Comedy at the Golden Globes, I still subconsciously crossed my fingers that Modern Family would dark horse it out from under their singing shoes. (They make those, right?) If you have been watching it already, my favourite episode so far was the one where Phil goes to the hospital with a gall stone. Hearty laughs throughout. The other best thing I saw this week (YES, THERE CAN BE TWO) was ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox.’ One of my favourite childhood stories, written by one of my most beloved authors, Roald Dahl, brought to life by Wes Anderson. There was no way this wasn’t going to be amazing. The slyness of George Clooney? The spitting of Jason Schwartzman? Meryl Streep’s apple-patterned outfit with teeny tiny brooch? COME ON. Every single eensy weensy detail was accounted for and it was truly fantastic.
I overheard this coming from Nuv’s laptop the other night and it was the best/worst thing I heard all week, “One two, Freddy’s coming for you…” EVERY person who was a kid in the 70s can finish that rhyme and simultaneously get 75 shivers down their spine. Freddy Krueger was my first boogeyman. And he could only get you in your dreams. COME ON. These were the first batch of horror movies that my brother and I were exposed to when we were babes, and they still scare me. (Awesome parenting, I know. Super Channel was essentially our Nanny.) Back then, it made perfect sense that Krueger was the result of a nun being raped by many institutionalized men. It also made perfect sense that if I woke up in the middle of the night and heard something outside, it was him out there gently scratching my window with one of his knife claws. (Cue screaming for MOOOOMMMMMM! and frantic bladder spasms.) I have seen all the movies, even the terrible one with Roseanne in it, and ‘Freddy vs. Jason,’ because he is such a great villain. A killer of kids, burnt alive, clever, a brutal killing device and stylish enough to easily dress up as for Hallowe’en. Man, he’s terrifying & terrific on all counts. As much as Robert Englund IS Freddy, I will see the new one with Jackie Earle Haley, simply because every role I’ve seen him in (Little Children, Watchmen) he has been solid and creepy. If you want to feel six years old and dive under the blankets again, check the new trailer here.
I almost cried at work when I happened to see this. You know what Celiac guts, we’ve come a long way baby! Betty Fucking Crocker, The Queen of Baked Goods, has lowered her gaze, nodded gently, and handed us celiacs the keys to the golden kingdom. With her making gluten free cake mixes, this means we belong again. We’re just like regular carb eaters. We don’t have to go down to Fancy Foods Are Us, and shell out $7.95 plus for a cake mix anymore. Betty saved us! And the best taste in my mouth this week was not only this sweet discovery, but look at this: RECIPES! And…. one for Pineapple Upside-Down Cake. HOW DID SHE KNOW I HAVE LONGED FOR THIS FOR 15 YEARS? I am swooning and clutching pearls I don’t have, for this is a great day to be celiac and alive. And that is a sentence I never ever thought I would type.
While effing around on the most elegant of electronic time wasters, Daily Candy, I came across this piece about eating in Argentina and the most beautiful culinary words written by Chef Francis Mallman. It touched the teensy part of my heart where words and food overlap. And I’m pretty sure this guy could make women cum by simply flicking his wooden spoon at them and talking food-dirty. Here’s a sample: ‘Welcome guests with a glass of clerico. Chop as many fruits as you like into pieces (skins on), place them in a large jar with sugar, and mix with a wooden spoon until the fruit looks sexy. Stir in white wine, Grand Marnier, vodka, and ice. The glasses where you will place your lips should be small, elegant, and thin.’ Um, “until the fruit looks sexy…” Fuck yes, I want to talk & cook like this. I want the next thing for my lips to touch is this clerico and the small elegant, thin glasses I serve it in. You must read the whole thing. It is so inspiring and beautiful.
My favourite smell this week was Nuv’s Amber Pour Homme Prada cologne. He wears it mostly for special occasions, and spritzes it on very carefully, holding the bottle in outstretched arms in front of him and closing his eyes when he finally lets some go. It is just the most perfect combination of masculine with a touch of clean class, with no cowboy saddle spice or sharp chemical fumes layered on top. When I hang up his shirts, I first stuff his collars up into my nostrils, because it smells like my dude and I love my dude.
