“Back to liiiife, back to realityyyyy…..”
The NHL trade deadline came and passed, with two Cup contenders getting better (Caps and Pens), but a certain pack of desert dogs (Coyotes) are looking scary all of a sudden. Maybe the NHL should own more hurtin’ U.S. teams at the deadline…. Around eight goalies that were on the block didn’t move. Hey Philly! No insurance for “Sugar” Ray Emery? Damn, playoffs sounded fun…. Thomas Kaberle trade talks begin for next season…. People think it’s weird that the Sharks didn’t make one move- but a wise man once said “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Too bad the engine always starts makin’ strange noises in the playoffs…. Mark Messier Leadership Award’s first three finalists are announced: “Sid the Kid,” “Finnish Flash,” and “Miller Time” still don’t touch “Moose” in the nickname department…. Washington is on pace to score the most goals in a season since the 95-96 Penguins, but won’t top their tally, or the fear their mullets struck into opponents…. Ryan Kesler to follow Ovechkin by being on the cover of the NHL 2K11 video game. Bless them for awarding realness in hockey. Defense wins championships and you can’t teach heart. Recognize b*tches!!!…. Hello party people! Sorry I’m a little late, but I’m #1 pick Steven Stamkos, and I’ll be your next ridiculous goal scorer! Is that my seat next to Sid in 2014?…. The Red Wings are on the outside lookin’ in. The Coyotes, Kings, and Preds, are on the inside lookin’ in. Somebody call somebody. Officially it’s the Twilight Zone…. Apparently the Canucks only like to come from behind (insert porn joke here)…. Chris Chelios gets called up to the Atlanta Thrashers after he be-heads another Highlander. Maybe he’ll be less of a dick this time, knowing he’s immortal and all….
The topic of “head hits” was all the rage at the G.M. meetings in Florida, which is a very important issue because guys are being knocked out cold all over the place. But like every sport, players are now bigger, faster, and stronger than ever. Unfortunately not smarter. The irony of the solution might be that the instigator rule should get tossed out, and if you f*ck around, you get dealt with by some dirty guy who is there for one reason – to f*uck you up for f*ckin’ up his star teammate (ala McSorley via Gretzky). And you’ll know you deserve it and will probably think twice next time. A lot of so-called “hockey people” say that the Olympic game is soooo beautiful and the NHL should take notes, but noone acknowledges the fact that it’s every FOUR years, and there’s NO way the game could roll without their trademark aggressiveness if it was that way year ‘round. Let’s face it, a good throwdown between two tough guys is what casual hockey fans wanna see. Same with hockey purists. Same with fans of the losing team.
In an age where skill players are the size of “Alexander the Great” and Rick Nash, the ice isn’t going to get bigger. Sh*t disturbers aren’t goin’ anywhere if what they do works. Tough guys will still be tough. I get what people mean about thugs taking jobs away from skilled players, but many G.M.’s have already said there aren’t enough skilled position players for how many teams there are. Therefore, roughnecks aren’t the problem, idiots are. So like the mighty Brian Burke eluded to, “If your job is to go out there and hurt people, find a new job.” But guess what Burky, that decision’s up to you and the other suits. Puck’s in your court….
