Nuv The Funky Promosapien

Put some spring in your step, lames. Uncle Nuv’s got a few treats to get you through till Summer…

Del The Funky Homosapien @ Fortune Sound Club (Thursday, April 8th)

I’ve seen Ice Cube’s cousin (for reals) Del live twice. Live (rhymes with bee-hive, like “stung to death in the nuts by a…”), not live (rhymes with Shiv, as in my father’s name and/or a sharp DIY prison weapon). The first time I saw him was with the entirety of his crew, Hieroglyphics, in the height of my Hiero-fandom. It was dope. So dope that there wasn’t a stand-out moment, because each was just as rad as the next. The second was a solo set, although he shared the bill with Blackalicious. (If you ever get the chance to see them live, MC Gift of Gab’s display of speed and breath control while spitting Alphabet Aerobics (The Cut Chemist Workout: A-Z) over the ever-quickening beat alone is worth the price of admission.) The stand-out that day, for me, came late in The Funky Homosapien’s set. An extremely drunk, homely women near the front of the crowd decided to heckle Del by shrieking (not cheer-screaming, but banshee-wailing) and attempting to interrupt the man while he was trying to rap-rap for the peoples. Del coolly just asked the DJ to change the beat, switched gears, began freestyling to the still-heckling pachyderm and spat the line “You’re the proof that 100 Proof ain’t enough.” Del then seamlessly flipped right back into the interrupted song. The crowd roared, I almost spat my drink all over Captain Arthritis, and the behooved biotch geysered tears from her “face.”

If that doesn’t make you want to go here and get a ticket, I hope you catch a bad one. And by bad one, I mean syphillis.

Pharoahe Monch & Slaughterhouse @ Fortune Sound Club (Thursday, April 22nd)

A few weeks from now Pharoahe Monch is making his Vancouver debut, and the (sure-to-be capacity) crowd’s night. Nay, year! An absolute monster on the mic since his days as one half of Organized Konfusion, I imagine his set will be like watching Bruce Lee kick the shit out of about a billion incompetent martial artists near the end of ‘Enter The Dragon.’ Come April 22nd, I won’t have to imagine anymore. (That last sentence was tacked on by Spielberg.)

Also on the bill is underground super-group, Slaughterhouse. I saw them last summer at Rock The Bells. Here’s what I had to say then: “Slaughterhouse slaughters. Commanding, ferocious, funny, they come off like an extremely talented frat house. Later, I buy one of their T-shirts for $40,000,000.” Well, since that show, their first album came out and was fuck-yeah. In other news, my $40,000,000 shirt shrank. Guess this is going to be an expensive show. Start taking your pop bottles back and then go here.

One last thing: courtesy of Gman and Rizk, the first four people to name the other member of Organized Konfusion, and any one member of Slaughterhouse in the Comment section below, get a FREE TICKET!!!

If you don’t go to this show, you hate tits!

Public Enemy @ Commodore Ballroom (Thursday, May 27th)

SUCKERS TO THE SIDE! BLACK IS BACK! PUBLIC ENEMY IS COMING TO VANCOUVER!! Sorry. The shouting was necessary. I needed to ensure every one of you monkey-truckers heard the news. If we were to time-travel right now and share that news with every Nuv from ’87 to now, they would all simultaneously pump a fist and find a way to travel to 2010 and kill/replace me, so they could see that show. See that show or live to a ripe old age? I’d choose option ‘A’ with conviction. Hell or high-water. The S1W’s themselves could not keep me from The Commodore come May 27th. If you’re with me, go here and Live Nation’ll hook you up with a ticket. And if you’re not with me, you’re against me. Clutch your PM Dawn albums tight and watch your punk-ass back. You’re gonna get yours…

[Oh yeah. It ain't over, motherfuckers. More on this subject in May. Or should I say... Public Enemy Month?!]

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings @ Commodore Ballroom (Sunday, June 20th)

I think Ms. Jones was eavesdropping when that saying “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” was coined, and decided to prove them wrong. In her case at least, they make ‘em exactly like they used to in Motown, circa 1960. Well, either that or one of the young Nuv’s from a few paragraphs ago made a pitstop and plucked her directly from the sixties. Either way, it’s a good thing. Reminiscent rather than derivative, Sharon Jones brings true pathos and raw blues back to R&B, something that’s sorely lacking in most of today’s plastic-coated, mainstream garbage. Providing the rhythm are the Dap-Kings, the same band that provided the music behind 6 of 11 tracks on Amy Winehouse’s smash album ‘Back To Black,’ including the over-played but still amazing mega-hit, Rehab. (Special Bonus: Sharon Jones does not smoke crack!) The music, while polished and clean, retains a raw grit that perfectly compliments all the anguished wisdom Sharon’s aged (to perfection) voice conveys. If you like your music to have real heart, go watch it thump before your very eyes. Buy your ticket to a warm and fuzzy feeling from Live Nation.

Pffft. All them other music column mu’fuckers is promosexuals compared to me, shee-it. (Parentheses!)

At ease,

– Nuv

Del The Funky Homosapien
Catch A Bad One • No Need For Alarm • Boo Boo Heads • You Never Knew • The Who • At The Helm

Pharoahe Monch
Simon Says • Welcome To The Terrordome • Oh No • My Life • Push • What It Is

Slaughterhouse
Sound Off • The Warriors • Lyrical Murderers • Not Tonight • Salute (Featuring Pharoahe Monch)

Public Enemy
Public Enemy #1 • Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos • Fight The Power • Endangered Species
Only Out For One Thang • By The Time I Get To Arizona • Shut ‘Em Down

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
My Man Is A Mean Man • This Land Is Your Land • 100 Days, 100 Nights • I Learned The Hard Way