#1 vs. #2? Makes sense… #7 vs. #8? Pass me the crazy pills. At least some of the pills are Canadien… So without further adieu, Mesdames and Messieurs….. Les FINAL FOUR!
San Jose Sharks (1) vs Chicago Blackhawks (2)
Well, this matchup wasn’t really a surprise to anyone, and I don’t mean at the beginning of the playoffs. These two teams were picked to overcome past disappointments and turn the corner onto Cup Final Road at the beginning of the season. But, cue Sean Connery… “There can be only one!”
The overall stats for these teams are fairly similar thus far, but there are some important differences that have been totally forgotten about. Being forced to watch Chicago hurt our eyes and ruin our lives, we didn’t notice San Jose shiftin’ their hog methodically from second gear against Colorado, to a hummin’ fourth against Detroit. That’s right, fourth. Only a couple more gears to go, and that’s assuming they don’t have a souped up chopper with a seventh. Even though most of the games were close, I can’t ever remember the mighty Wings getting laid to waste like that, especially by a notorious bed-sh*tter. With the Sharks’ second line carrying the team in the first round, little known Joe Pavelski leading the West in goals, Joe Thorton and the #1 line finally heating up, and the best of Dany Heatley yet to come, this can only mean the music from “Jaws” could come as soon as the first scene at the “Shark Tank” (polled as the hardest building in the league to play in).
If you ask the Blackhawks about the HUGE advantage San Jose has being able to play in their own house four times this series, they might cockily muse that even though S.J. is 5-1 at home this post-season, they’re 5-1 on the road, and have a douchebag bravado that they LOVE displaying to opposing fans. That being said, it could be a misguided road warrior attitude seeing as three of those wins had as much to do with the wheels coming off of the Canucks as the ‘Hawks racing by them. So, there’s a clear situation that needs to happen. Maybe two. Okay three, but definitely not more than four. Unless it’s five. First, there’s Antti Niemi, who has only been in net in eight playoff games in his career, and only 54 in total. That’s 22 less than Nabokov’s PLAYOFF total. Being the better goalie in this series could make ALL the difference. Second, the $63 million dollar chump, Marion Hossa, needs to earn his keep. The most shots on the team, but 8th in goal scoring? Ha! He jumps to whatever team he thinks will get him a cup, then doesn’t close the deal. If he starts shootin’ better than 5%, his fortunes could change, especially if Brian Campbell and the “D” start pitchin’ in too (Situation 3). Not to mention if that cro-magnon idiot they have starts ByFUGLYin’-up the front of the net (Situation 4).
Balls Call: Sharks in 7
Philadelphia Flyers (7) vs Montreal Canadiens (8)
As predictable as the Western Conference Final matchup is, the Eastern is equally impossible to believe. Not just the #7 versus #8 part, but the fact that neither team had even MADE the playoffs until the final hours of the regular season. The Flyers even needed to win in a shootout to beat out the Rangers for a spot. They then beat the N.J. Devils in round one, which wasn’t a big deal, besides the fact that they made the mighty Marty Brodeur look pretty mousy. What happened next is history, at least until the next time it happens.
Philly is hoping that the high and momentum of being only the third team in history to come back from being down three games to zero, to then win a series, will propel them past the Canadiens. But it could have the opposite effect – like crashing back to earth. They’ve had adequate scoring, but great goaltending. Actually, the next best to Montreal. But the key word is HAD. Their best player in the playoffs, journeyman goalie Brian Boucher, is hurt and out for the series, and Michael Leighton is in. Adequate at BEST. That’s why we’re hearing every cliché in the book. I wouldn’t want to answer a question I don’t have an answer to either. “Montreal has done an excellent job of defending in their end” says coach Laviolette,”They’re a very good offensive team,” then adding, “They had to be good defensively, but also good offensively.” Riiight. You mean they play hockey? Thanks tips.
The Habs did a thing that was even more improbable than a comeback. They killed giants. Slayed slayers. First Ovie and the best-record-in-the-league Washington Capitals, then Sid the Kid and the defending Cup champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins. They both got Halak’d by the best backstop in the post-season. At least that’s what it looked like. Montreal not only has the most saves in the post-season, they also have the most blocked shots. By a poutine-covered mile. With 320 thwarted sniper attacks, the next best is Chicago with 190. And when it came to shutting down the two best players in the world, the Canadiens made those guys look like they had two shadows each. On the other end, possibly the biggest problem for the Flyers, Mike Cammaleri is the hottest goal scorer on the planet right now, with Conn Smythe Award talk starting already. All of these things equal a bad combination for Philly, a team that is “turning the page” on a draining comeback, and now “getting ready for a battle” against a team that’s hotter than a fresh batch of Mount Royal bagels. Oh yeah, did I mention that they’re now backed by an entire nation? Load up the bandwagons!!! VIVE LES HABITANTS!!!
Balls Call: Canadiens in 6
PUCK THAT.
– Balls out
