[Editor's Note: To check out Side A of this article, flip the cassette and, at the sound of the tone, click here. Or just do the last step.]
Back? I never left, suckers! Seriously. At night, when no one’s looking, I crawl into the internet, & catch a few z’s right here at review2akill.com. Ya see, Miss Teen USSR kicked me out the house to make room for all of her System of a Down albums. Damn you, Serj! You, Shavo and your noise-disguised-as-music! You done broke up a happy home. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming – music to watch, or watch out, for this summer…
JULY 6
Big Boi / ‘Sir Lucious Leftfoot: The Son of Chico Dusty’ – Even ignoring the allure of the ridiculously amazing/amazingly ridiculous title, anything produced by, or featuring either member of Outkast, is an unmissable event. Their failures kick sand in the faces of other rappers’ successes.
N.E.R.D / ‘Nothing’ – That song off their last album about chicks doing coke in club bathrooms was hilarious, and made even more so when you see the types of chicks the song is talking about dancing to it, and not even realizing it’s making fun of them. What does that have to do with the album? (See album title for answer.)
JULY 13
Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse / ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ – This album’s epic journey to wind up in our hands is long and convoluted. It was prevented from being released last year, and the resulting chaos involved blank CD’s, David Lynch & the man with the happiest-sounding name in music committing suicide. The music itself is an aural version of coming down from dropping acid and listening to all of the depressing Pink Floyd records. AKA the exact opposite of a sparkling horsey.
Ice Cube / ‘I Am The West’ – Ice Cube hasn’t made a good album since ‘Lethal Injection,’ really, but he was one of my favourite rappers growing up, so I’ll always give him the benefit of the doubt and at least give every new LP a listen. Plus, that album cover’s the shit! (See below.)
M.I.A. / ‘/\/\/\Y/\’ – M.I.A. is super-talented and always has something relevant/important to say, but I may boycott this album based solely on how annoying that album title is.
AUGUST 24
T.I. / ‘King Uncaged’ – My advice with T.I. is to preview the album first. He sick and all, and them album’s always gon’ have a couple-few bangers hidden ‘mongst all the “Shorty-shorty, Hood Love, Maing” nonsense. When you pan that gold out, dump the other sludge back, and go make you some new teeth with them there shits. Know’m sayin’? (Me neither.)
SOMETIME THIS SUMMER (ALLEGEDLY)
Cee-Lo Green / ‘Lady Killer’ – Listen to Georgia, the first single off the Gnarls Barkley member’s upcoming solo album, and then curse the fact that you don’t even know how long you have to wait to hear more.
Jack Splash / ‘Technology And Love Might Save Us All…’ – Years ago I bought an album called Plant Life ‘The Return of Jack Splash’ on a whim. It was fan-fucking-tastic! Throw Prince, Sly Stone, and The Neptunes in a blender and, well, you still wouldn’t really have an idea what was in store for you, but I assure you, the surprises ahead are all pleasant. I see Jack Splash, who didn’t actually return as he was never there before, finally did what that first album advertised, and released a free mixtape earlier this year. (See the ‘Available Now’ section in my previous post.) It too is pretty fun. I’m looking forward to…well, I don’t know what, but I’m sure whatever it is will be funky as ya grandma’s pits!
Kanye West / ‘Good Ass Job’ – I believe ‘808’s & Heartbreak’ will prove to be a moment of insanity borne of living out the grief of losing a parent while in the spotlight. Based on the single, Power, I think there’s no reason to think this album will be anything less than good-ass.
Lupe Fiasco / ‘Lasers’ – I like Lupe. I like lasers. Need I say more?
Naughty By Nature / ‘Anthem Inc.’ - Based on this song, this album is going to knock our heads off. But then, what else would you expect from a group whose logo is a baseball bat?
Black Sheep / ‘From The Black Pool Of Genius’ – This one actually has a precise release date (June 29) but Dres has been known to be late with shit, and I already ran down the June releases last week. Weird-ass album title notwithstanding, I always eagerly anticipate a new entry in their catalogue. Which says a lot, considering that’s entirely based off their classic debut album. The rest were so-so, but that one was so strong that I’m always hoping, one day, they’ll tap back into this. Or that.
Whatever the hell Jack White & Jay-Z were spotted working on together. The two biggest, most consistent, and arguably most talented artists, in their respective genres. Whatever they’re cookin’ up, I want in!
And whatever you’re cookin’ up, Miss Teen USSR, I want in on that too! It’s cold and lonely out here in the world wide web, and A.T.’s articles are creepy when no one’s around. They just stare at me and ask me to eat their words. If you recall the title of his column, I don’t want any part of what comes next….
At ease,
– Nuv
