“You Talkin’ To Me?”

People like movies. And movie quotes. More specifically, guys like using movie quotes. It dawned on me the other day that what we were doing was a form of male bonding. The type that requires slightly more wit and intellect than the typical sports-beer-babes triumvirate. And make no mistake, a well-timed movie quote used in the correct context takes considerable skill and pop-culture acumen.

I’m not talking about spewing forth those clichéd, painfully obvious, so-called quote unquote quotes, like “I’ll be back,” or “Here’s looking at you kid,” out of the blue, which any halfwit can do; but rather obscure lines from a movie that for one reason or another resonated among us. And when I say ‘us’, I’m talking about the ones who ‘get’ it. The ones who when I ask, “What’s the soup du jour?” they’ll reply with, “It’s the soup of the day,” and I’ll say, “Mmm, that sounds good.” Or if I tell you that I can’t disclose something, you’ll say, “Oh, but you could tell Luke, is that who you could tell?”

Sometimes we’ll say, “Where’s that from?” and there’s no shame in that. Part of the fun is to try and figure it out. The important thing is that you recognize it’s from a movie. Don’t get caught looking like Ben Stiller’s character in ‘Reality Bites‘: having no clue that the much cooler Ethan Hawke character was quoting ‘Cool Hand Luke‘ and looking like a total ‘tard as a result. Remember that scene? Exactly.

And sometimes who or what you choose to quote from can say a lot about you. What does it say? That we watch too many movies? Touché. (By the way, is there anything more annoying than people who use touché in the wrong context?) But it also says that we “take pleasure in the details,” in the way that a line is flawlessly delivered, in the significance of a scene, and that we care about the writing in a film. It’s not always the case, as I sometimes find myself quoting Jean Claude Van Damme, but more often than not, it’s a lot of De Niro, some Pacino, Malkovich, Clooney, “Matt Damon Matt Damon,” et al. and basically anything from ‘Heat.‘ ‘Glengarry Glenn Ross.‘ ‘The Big Lebowski.‘ ‘Bloodsport. All veritable gold mines. ‘Scarface?‘ Sure, as long as you can do it in a perfect Tony Montana accent and not use the “say hello to my little friend” line.

You see, it’s all about the timing and delivery – like a good joke. And that’s the point. It’s supposed to make us laugh. Each man vies to be the cleverest, verbally jousting with golden nuggets laid before us by Hollywood in order to substitute our inner feelings with sharp dialogue – art imitating life if you will, or is it the other way around? – which is a hallmark of male bonding. And when we succeed in capturing the nuances of the quote and the source is revealed, an instant nod of respect is earned, a bond established.

But this bonding phenomenon seems to be unique to men. While “researching” for this article, I asked a wide range of my female friends if they ever exchanged movie quotes with their girlfriends, and while a few claimed they sometimes did with their boyfriends (probably the boyfriend’s desperate attempt to incorporate the girlfriend to fill a void), as far as girl on girl goes, movie quotes seem to be as popular to them as pillow fights are to us.

That’s not to say girls don’t like movies – of course they do – they just don’t see the fascination with quoting from them. (On a side note, being familiar enough with so many lines as to quote them when the situation arises often require multiple viewings of the same movie – or a certain level of omniscience – another inherent male trait.)  So while girls are bonding over lipstick shades, Manolo Blahnik shoes, the relative merits of being on Team Edward or Team Jacob, and the skanky escapades of Carrie, Samantha et al., us men are clashing wits like lightsabers, saying, “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” and “you can be quite boring,” and “you’d rather look good and lose than look bad and win,” so “riverside motherfucker!” and “sit your five-dollar-ass down before I make change,” and “sure, I like dags,” cause “yes we’re men, men is what we are,” so “let’s start with the turquoise blue!” and “fuck you, that’s my name,” so “you’re not gonna call the cops?” “It’s a simple diagram, just draw it again!” “And for that, I owe,” and “oh I get it, it’s very clever,” but “it’s minor Fitzgerald,” and “it’s not your fault,” that “what is this? A centre for ants!” But they have “really good noodles,” so “here’s the thing,” “whenever there’s a doubt, there is no doubt,” and lastly because “first prize is a Cadillac, second prize is a set of steak knives, and third prize is you’re fired.”

– Tom Day