Missing You: Part Two

So, new and returning TV shows will carry onward too, with or without me. Unlike movies though, I can attempt to watch these fine specimens of entertainment right from the comfort of my barf-stained couch. Here’s what I’m gonna do my goddamnest to watch this Fall:

MONDAY

Hawaii Five-O (Debuts Sept 20th)
I find Scott Caan to be more than charming, even if most times he’s playing a cocky SOB with gelled hair. I’m sure part of the affection is what an eerie resemblance he has to his awesome Pops. The trailer for this looks super sudsy, fun, high-budget and wise-cracky. What more could you want on a Monday night? Oh, Jin from ‘Lost?’ Don’t worry, HE’S IN IT TOO.

TUESDAY

Running Wilde (Debuts Sept 21st)
Will Arnett picking his nose in line for an ATM would be hilarious to me.

WEDNESDAY

Terriers (Debuts September 8th)
Donal Logue and Rene from ‘True Blood‘ as unlicensed P.I.’s working together. No mystery here (HA! x forever), I will watch this.

Modern Family (Season 2 starts September 22nd)
This was my favourite straight up sitcom from last year. And the Emmy’s concur…

Friday Night Lights (Fifth and final season starts October 27th)
What the fuck are we going to do after this ends? Coach Taylor? And thanks North America for NEVER watching it. Losers.

THURSDAY

The Office (Season 7 starts September 23rd)
Community (Season 2 starts September 23rd)
Steve Carrell’s last season has to be good, right? Amy Ryan will come back, right? And I won’t just watch the show because I’ve invested six years into it already, right?
‘Community‘ was consistently brilliant last year. Abed Fo’ Life.

FRIDAY

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (Debuts October 1st)
I love David Cross. No matter what. And the title of this? Come on. Even that is amazing.

SATURDAY
(I couldn’t find a single show I gave a crap about that airs on Saturday. Realistically, anybody watching TV on Saturday night has no friends. Sorry.)

SUNDAY
(Seriously? This night is an EMBARASSMENT OF RICHES. Even with the PVR working overtime, this is gonna be tricky.)

Boardwalk Empire (Debuts September 19th)
If you have HBO, or like us, it’s snot-nosed peckerwood brother HBO Canada, you’ve seen the ads for this many many times. A prohibition-era drama with a ridiculous pedigree, a cast – aside from the delectably punchable Michael Pitt - that looks perfect, and the pilot is directed by Scorsese. I’ll eat a poopy diaper if this isn’t insane.

Dexter (Season 5 starts September 26th)
I was late watching the entire last season of ‘Dexter, and by some miracle of the TV Gods, DID NOT have the mind-blowing finale ruined for me. I cannot even handle how excited I am to see what is going to happen as evidently they pick up right where last season ended. PS: I only watched five seconds of this trailer for fear of spoilers, but the R2AK boys say I’m being a puss. I’ve waited ten months to know what the gender of my unborn babe is, I can wait till the 26th to see what’s next for poor Dexter.

Bored to Death (Season 2 debuts September 26th)
Picture this scenario: Schwartzman, Galifianakis and Danson, stoned, in a car, on a stakeout with night vision goggles. There is not a single thing un-rad about that.

Eastbound and Down (Season 2 starts September 26th)
Kenny Powers: such a filthy-mouthed dude that makes me laugh so very hard. Danny McBride has absolutely cornered the market on half-aware mulleted losers who are still somehow completely endearing.

Luther (Debuts October 24th)
All I saw was “acclaimed”, “BBC” and “Idris Elba” (my beloved Stringer Bell), soooo I’ll watch it twice. Hopefully he can find more work like this, rather than the reeking GARBAGE FECES that is ‘Takers.’

Walking Dead (October 31st)
I have all the graphic novels. They have scared the shit out of me and made me cry. Darabont is handling the pilot. I would have to be dead, and then shot in the face to not watch this. Unless I take the kid out that night in an extremely cute outfit in a blatant attempt to gather candy for myself.

See you in November, lovelies!