[Editor's Note: A new year brings in a new Outsider. Please give a warm R2AK welcome to "Hail Mary" McLeod, the gridiron maiden the site has been sorely missing.]
Hi. I’m a girl who loves all things football. Impossible? Not so. Read on…
Disclaimer: I am nervous…talking-to-a-guy-I-have-a-crush-on nervous. Why? I want you to enjoy reading this. So, forgive any rambling, stuttering, and any lame jokes… this will get better with time. Also, I’m a Cowboys fan. More on that later…
Wild Card Weekend Review
Seattle Seahawks 41
New Orleans Saints 36
The score might as well have read Seahawks 70, Saints 9. This was far from a close win – when you come in with the cards stacked so high against you that even I, an underdog lover, had no hope… I’ve been known to call Seahawks fans mythical creatures…I’m sorry fans. Your losing team won a game that really counts, and I have serious respect for that. As for the Saints, going from the best to losing to the losers, they will now have to play next year like they have something to prove. Never take anything for granted especially when playing a team that has nothing to lose and so much to prove.
New York Jets 17
Indianapolis Colts 16
Dear Mark Sanchez, thank Santa for Braylon Edwards. Toe awareness makes me weak in the knees and there’s something magical about a great jumping catch…but for crying out loud could you please work on your consistency? I want to think you’re cute, but your spazzy arm and mile-high throws make me confused about my girly feelings for you. Oh and Jets, I’m glad you’re getting your money’s worth with Folk…I hope it lasts. Colts…ummm…. you are on the verge of becoming one of the great teams of the PAST. So sad…kinda.
Baltimore Ravens 30
Kansas City Chiefs 7
I’m not going to pretend that this was a game of interest for me… I may have napped for most of the first half. I haven’t watched much of the Chiefs at all, so here are my slightly inadequate observations… Todd Haley, you have great hockey hair. Can you please show Matt Cassel how to move more in the pocket? Maybe even try running with the ball…thanks. And I’m sure the Seahawks would like to thank you for proving a winning record doesn’t mean you will play like a playoff-ready team. I do enjoy watching the Ravens play – they are usually a great team to watch both defensively and offensively. So, Ravens…keep doing what you’re doing. Ray Lewis, your pre-game interview made me motivated enough to think about maybe cleaning my kitchen…thanks for that.
Green Bay Packers 21
Philadelphia Eagles 16
This, for me, was the most anticipated game of the weekend and I wanted to see exactly what I did see! I was impressed with the Packers ability to open up the run game with rookie James Starks, and putting the Eagles to rest with a Tramon Williams pick was the perfect fist-pumping, scare-the-shit-out-of-the-neighbors moment for me. Eagles, you put up a great fight and made me miss my afternoon nap…that’s a big compliment coming from a partially hung-over football fan on a Sunday.
My thoughts for next weekend…in point form…‘cause I like it that way…
- Receivers: please catch the balls that are thrown to you!!! There is something about this season and catchable balls flying off of faces, pads and fingers…let’s stop the lameness.
- Time management. Timeouts are important… they should be treated as such. In my opinion, it’s better to take a loss of down early on, rather then be left playing catch up with no way to manage the clock when it’s important.
- Field goal kickers…this is your year. Last year was a bad one. Be the heroes of this years playoffs. And don’t forget: the point after is not a given. Just ask David Buehler, depriving Cowboys fans of a Christmas comeback…the shame.
- Rex Ryan, keep talking shit… I’m down with it. Seriously, who hasn’t said something stupid or “unprofessional” before? I’m bored with coaches minding their manners. Sometimes when you believe in your team and think they’re the bestest you’re not politically correct, and I’m ok with that…and you have really nice teeth. I get why you would want to show them off.
– “Hail Mary” McLeod
Welcome to the fold, McLeod.
Great article EXCEPT that last bit about the Colts. They’re one of, if not THE, most injured teams of all time, not past their prime. They started something like 73 players this year! It’s amazing that they even got into the playoffs with the homeless dudes they have at receiver and tight end. Caldwell’s timeout, though, I have no excuse for…
Other than that and you liking the stupid Cowboys, you’re killin’ it!
Dear HMM,
I like your gusto! All of those naps you plan for and take, I believe really add to your spirit. I found your article delightful and informative. Being at that Seahawks game changed my life and for the first time I can truly say I bled football. As relatively new fan I’d be happy to read more of your play off reviews and hear a true fans point of view. I only have one comment to make though, there is no need to watch anymore Chiefs games then you have to. They suck. Unless the Chargers are beating their asses with a bamboo stick you may as well take a nap. Go Bolts! (Yes, I know….next year)
Rex Ryan has good teeth only by pornstar standards.