Week One of the actual playoffs… where the big boys come to play.
Pittsburgh Steelers 30
Baltimore Ravens 24
I sort of dislike games where the two halves are so different you don’t really know what went wrong and what went right. One thing’s for sure: the Ravens offense never really showed up. Being up 21-7 at the half doesn’t seem like much, but in a defensive match up that’s a pretty decent lead… unless all of a sudden your defense takes a nap and your offense thinks that turnovers are the new black thanks to the Steelers first half showcase. The first half was so bad for the Steelers you’d think there was a magical force working against them… What happened at half time boys? Do you also find Tom Brady so cute that the thought of maybe not seeing him next week was too much to bear? I get it.
PS: Cory Redding, that was a great TD celebration… maybe skipping like a 4 year old will replace the good old air-hump.
Green Bay Packers 48
Atlanta Falcons 21
The Packers executed this game so well. I’m very impressed with Aaron Rodgers, and I think the past few years of playing with a sub par offensive line has turned him into one of the most well-rounded QB’s around. The run game was not really there but it didn’t seem to matter. Now, I’m going to attempt to talk about the Falcons… maybe I’ll write them a jingle!
“Your team’s red and black but it’s hard to make a sack… you’re the Falcons!
You caused a little fumble but Green Bay didn’t stumble… you’re the Falcons!
Eric Weems got a record… nothing good rhymes with record… you’re the Falcons!”
Moving on!
Chicago Bears 35
Seattle Seahawks 24
This was a somewhat anticlimactic win for Chicago. The Hawks played like you would have expected a team with a losing record to play. The great but frustrating thing about football playoffs, where every game matters, is that it doesn’t matter that you just beat the Saints or that you beat the Bears the last time you met. You have to want to win every game and it doesn’t help to play that way only in the last half of the 4th. The Bears played well on both sides of the ball but will have to up their game for the Packers next week.
New York Jets 28
New England Patriots 21
This one shocked me… I wouldn’t normally pick the Patriots to win but I had the feeling they would. Apparently my feelings can be wrong. I am not at all upset by this ’cause I am a jerk and secretly always want to see Brady and his dimpled chin fail. (Please stop playing with your hair in the post-game press conference.) Anyways, GREAT job by the Jets defense – you had the Pats looking confused and that can be a challenge… well done. On the other side of the ball you looked a little shaky at first, yes I’m talking about Sanchez, but all of your play makers showed up and made Rex look good.
PS: Dear Mark Sanchez… it’s over for us. Hearing you talk after the game made me cringe… I don’t think you sound very wise. Yes you’re young, but wise is hot. I’m leaving you for Aaron Rodgers… I hope he gets a chance to kick your ass.
PPS: And Big Ben Roethlisberger, looks like your second half effort was for naught! You will have to play my ex… sorry.
My Thoughts on Next Week
- Call me crazy, but I still think that catching the ball is an important aspect of the game, and up to this point it’s really made a difference between a win or a loss. Anquan Boldin literally had his face crushed and came back to play just weeks later, but couldn’t catch a key TD pass! Dude. Really?
- All of the teams playing next week have shown some strong defense. This may make for some boring games, but before you get mad at me for saying that… I have an idea!
To spice up a boring defensive battle, I have a drinking game for you – every time one of these things happens, do as I say… Ready?!
- Clay Matthews flips his hair around… drink!
- Braylon Edwards makes Sanchez look good… sip (we don’t want you getting carried away).
- Rex Ryan runs down the sideline… drink… the whole time (sorry).
- Jay Cutler makes you mad… drink.
- You catch a glimpse of Steelers’ Brett Keisel’s awesome beard… drink.
- Someone excessively celebrates a TD… pass a drink to your left.
- You’re so drunk you mistake Mike Tomlin for that guy from that TV show… you’re not drunk… this happens all the time… chug!
This drinking game is for big kids only. Young readers, you may substitute root beer for booze. Those drinking root beer are almost guaranteed to puke first. Enjoy.
– “Hail Mary” McLeod
We totally have to watch the superbowl together… Some of your shit is ridiculous and I wanna argue witcha. Good form kid. Well played.