Wednesday – RIP Marla Jameson and Johnny Storm
The centerpieces of both Fantastic Four’s “FINAL ISSUE!” & Amazing Spider-man #655 were silence (allowing the art to tell the story) and a funeral. Or: “things I wish upon Ian.” While the FF funeral is the bigger story – a) being for a character people know/give a shit about and b) being the end of the title itself – Webhead wins the battle of the burials with the death of J. Jonah Jameson’s wife. Or, to be more accurate, with the masterful, dialogue-less staging provided by Dan Slott’s script and the simple, but powerful, elegance of Marcos Martin’s art. I picked this issue up on a whim. My attention was abducted by the striking, stark white cover (below, left) and then, upon flipping the book open, it fell in love with it’s captor (below, right):
Seriously, look at the panel progression up there! That shit is crazier than Ian’s mom’s titties! (Think: Forest Whitaker Eye) MM’s style is timeless, harkening back to the character’s beginnings without being outdated or crude, while employing thoroughly modern, NAY, futuristic story-telling techniques!
I mean, just peep the way he casts JJJ as the eye of the storm. Jonah himself never changes expression. Not when his alarm goes off as he lies already awake, staring at the ceiling. Not as he drags himself through his daily routines, like shaving, where her absence is that much more noticeable due to the dual-sink/mirror bathroom. Not until the funeral do we get the expected emotional breakdowns, and even then, they come through the faces/body language of everyone but Jonah. The whole thing is as somber as reading this column on the weeks that Ian writes solo. So why the hell are you smiling? That’s thanks to MM. What he does with a pencil feels like that first time you climbed a rope in gym class…
That’s not to sell Slott’s story short. I stepped in with no idea how Mrs. Moustache died. At issue’s end, I still didn’t know, and it still didn’t matter. I didn’t once feel lost. Quite the contrary. In addition to the silent Jameson funeral half, we get the ol’ Parker guilt leading to a ‘life flashing before your eyes’ nightmare in act two. Or rather, a ‘death flashing before your eyes’ dream sequence, as Pete trades in his Spidey-Sense for The Sixth Sense and sees dead people. Like, all of ‘em! (Maybe I should’ve called this column “Two Days, Four THOUSAND Funerals!”) Do yourself a favour and click the pic below:
ASM #655 is the perfect jumping on point, either long-term, or even just as a one-off, and it manages to celebrate the entirety of Spidey’s history thus far, without once feeling convoluted. And that is thanks to the unfortunately last-named Slott. Together, these two transform and combine to form the ‘Best Single Comic ‘ so far in (a still young) 2011. Ian’s family tree, meanwhile, doesn’t even have to transform. Put ‘em all in the same room and they form the sinister ‘STD Chart!’
And while Amazing > Fantastic, don’t get it twisted. Hickman’s FF also deserves to be talked about, from the Human Torch’s swan song to the final issue, to the upcoming Marcos Martin-drawn Spider-Man tie-in where he deals with the Torch being snuffed, to the torch being passed with the new direction/title the (surviving) characters will be moving to… well, as you can see, there’s a lot to cover, and Shitface & I will do just that, in just under a month.
Thursday – RIP Ian Explosivo
Or will we?! Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
– Nuv: Centaur / Charlie Sheen Orgy Room Curator / Robocop Statue Supporter / Blatant Traffic Generator
