Belle of the Ball Vol. 6

I love the Dallas Cowboys… get over it.

Please excuse me if this article takes a defensive tone. Maybe you haven’t judged me for being a Cowboys fan. If so, a huge internet high-five to you! If you have, I get it, but here’s your huge internet middle finger and a wee bit of history.

I will be using a random male name (A.A. for Arrogant Ass) to play out this common conversation. No offence to the ladies, but I have only had this talk with about two women… ever… and it usually goes from “who’s your favorite team?” to “I love Phillip Rivers or Clay Matthews,” so for the sake of article length and substance we will go with A.A.

A.A. So, I hear you “like” football.

Me Yes… I LOVE football.

A.A. (Eyebrows go up and condescending face engages.) Oh really?

Me (Defensive rage face engaging…) Yes.

A.A. So who’s your favorite team then?????? (OMG this is the most challenging question in the world – she will now reveal herself to be a total fraud… I can’t wait!)

Me Dallas Cowboys. (Now, the look of shame on my face when I say this should at least gain me some cred points for knowing what’s going on… but no.)

A.A. HA! (Awww, that’s cute, but she obviously knows nothing.)

Me Who’s your favourite team? (Note: the only teams I won’t make fun of A.A. for liking are the Packers or the Chargers.)

A.A. The New York Giants!!!!! (Ha! Suck it lady, I am The King Of The World!!! I dare you to say something bad about my team!)

Me How did you feel about the Seahawks making it to the playoffs this year?

A.A. (Ouch… quick, think of something to throw her off… what rhymes with Romo…) So who’s your favorite player? Tony Homo!??!! (Ha! King of The World once again!!!!)

Me DeMarcus Ware.

At this point the conversation either ends with A.A. sulking his way across the room after being ineptly prepared to interact with anyone, let alone a girl whose favourite player is someone other than a quarterback. Or a good debate begins and I am now stuck with a new buddy who is a Giants fan.

My love affair with the Cowboys started somewhere in the Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith years. My house was full of yelling and screaming when I was growing up, and aside from report card time, this was all directed at the TV when either hockey or football was on. And it was all coming from my mother. I grew up watching and loving both sports and I remember the first time I really took an interest in football. My mom was watching a Redskins/Cowboys game (she’s a Redskins fan) and I decided to watch with her and really learn what was what. Being the little shit that I was, I decided to cheer for the Cowboys. And that’s how I became a Cowboys fan. They went on to win the Super Bowl that year and sure enough I looked like a bandwagon jumper, but it’s safe to say that if I was, I would have taken the leap off years ago.

I took a good 9-10 years off from really watching football, actually from having any cable anywhere I lived. In that time I would read random things on the Internet or in the paper. Then, a couple of years ago, I was living with my ex who is a Packers fan, and we decided to get cable for the sake of the relationship (ummm… hello red flags). Since then I’ve been slowly getting caught up and really getting back into the game, and now I get to share my thoughts with you.

Here are some of the frequently asked questions I get regarding my Cowboys:

Q: Who are your favorite players from the past?
A: Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin.

Q: Who are your favorite players right now?
A: DeMarcus Ware, Felix Jones, and Jason Witten.

Q: How do you feel about this season?
A: Brutal… I had high hopes based off of last years performance. I had a hard time not becoming a Chargers fan this year.

Q: How do you feel about Jason Garrett?
A: Awesome. I think anyone who sits around taking notes on how to coach well before he has the chance deserves a good shot at it. I think this is a team that needs a serious coach with some consistency. And with the amount of times Garrett has said some version of “we have to be great today” in interviews, consistency is what they’re going to get.

Q: Do you want to makeout with Tony Romo?
A: Gross. No. The guy always looks like he smells something funny… hot for some, but not for me. Also, I find him so frustrating. He has all the makings of a great QB, but none of the maturity to pull it all together and really lead a team. I’m hoping having almost a whole season off has given him some perspective, and he now has the drive to make it to the Super Bowl. Or at least on to my makeout list.

So there you have it… my history of being a Cowboys fan… hopefully everyone is over the shock of it all.

– “Hail Mary” McLeod

PS: I will be taking next week off, but in 2 weeks I will be teaming up with Miss Teen USSR for a “Girl’s Guide to Football” so force your lady to read it if you want to stop hearing “Who keeps throwing their yellow panties on the grass???”