On the way to Seattle I made one too many amazing vagina jokes and the winsome Venus Toshiba put me in a headlock and ploughed my head into the seat ahead of us. I laughed so hard I almost choked on my strawberry yogurt granola bar beef jerky and both of us knew right then and there that Emerald City Comic-Con 2011 was going to be the BEST COMIC-CON EVER! So ladies and gentlemen, without further hoo-hoo (Grab! Klunk!), I bring you the official Emerald City Comic-Con Report 2011!
We waited around until they let us in! Unlike last year, the Con was three days instead of just two! Friday and Sunday were fairly calm and Saturday went ballistic ape-shit! None of this stuff is particularly interesting but I felt it should be included in my well-rounded report. Also, I am a Leo who LOATHES tomato soup!
First: pics of stuff I don’t talk about that’s still NEAT-O FOR YOUR EYES, YOU GUYS!!
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Second: get to the good stuff!
Adam Hughes was there! Gentleman, scholar and all-round God-amongst-men when it comes to drawing fantastic racks. I’m so happy he attended this year’s Con I could just explode! He signed my Catwoman No. 45 and the pin-up he did in Fables No. 100, pointing out the special little Easter Egg on the envelope in Snow White’s hand. Neat-o!
Waaaaait a sec…how did the organizers score Adam Hughes, Frank Cho, Terry AND Rachel Dodson and NOT run a panel called “Tits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”? Some of you may be offended with that last question, but should recognize that women’s bodies are awesome and then check themselves before they wreck themselves.
Speaking of Terry and Rachel Dodson: They seemed pretty unimpressed all weekend, so maybe they weren’t having the best time? Maybe they were being blackmailed and were attending the Con against their will? Whatever the case, as much as I love them both (waaaaay more than most members of my extended family) I can’t help wondering if my short interaction with them wasn’t a case of “you should never meet your heroes.” Meh, WHATEVS!
Hold up, let me talk about something here. You know who rules? Max Brooks. He’s the guy who wrote the two best books ever written on zombies (The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z). We talked to him for a bit while getting a book signed for Venus (you can sneak a peek tomorrow in her post) and then we attended his zombie panel where he rocked it every bit as funny as his dad and every bit as foxy as his mom. Okay, maybe not the last part.
Meeting Jim Mahfood was as awesome as you would expect. He pulled out his super fat graffiti marker and went to work on my copy of Stupid Comics No. 1, triumphantly proclaiming it “Destroyed!” before handing it back to me. Did you know that he makes free, downloadable mixed tapes too? You should check it out if you like eclectic jazz and hip-hop.
Oh and Frank Quitely. I secretly don’t like your stuff very much. What with your skinny, weedy little pen lines and Jamie Grant’s awful inks and colours… But then I meet ya and I find out you’re the nicest guy ever. So what’s a person to do? I’m still the only fanboy not buying your comics, but I sure do appreciate how much you’ve increased the value of my Daredevil collection by signing No. 65 for me! Not that I’d ever sell it, of course.
Holey moley did Venus and I ever buy a crapload of awesome prints from new artists! Some notable dudes that you absolutely MUST check out are John Tyler Christopher, Eric Canete, Christopher Uminga, Joe Quinones, Jeremy Haun and Scott Kikuta. We came home with something from each of them and now they can pay their rent! Win-win!
PONDER THE FOLLOWING: You wouldn’t think that someone who got as screwed over as Chris Samnee (read about the Thor: The Mighty Avenger fiasco if you want to get super grumpy) would be as accommodating and pleasant as he is. I guess a guy with that much talent is never going to be out of work in this industry, but man, did Marvel ever fuck up by cancelling this title. Samnee rocked out all three days, doing commissions and sketches and generally being the embodiment of everything that makes Comic-Cons fun.
Also, Skottie Young, what a prince! Seriously, Venus got a beautiful Lady Blackhawk commission from him so we ended up talking to him a few different times and man, what a super funny guy. V offered to pay him ahead of time for his work and he told her “No, if everyone pays me ahead of time I’ll just run off. I’m not an artist, I’m an extortionist!” Seriously, if you ever meet him, you’ll know why his work is so good-natured.
On the other hand, Clay Mann and Paul Azaceta are a couple of dudes who need to take themselves a LOT less seriously. Jesus, I came across these two sketching away at their respective tables with absolutely no one in sight. So I went up to them super politely (like I do with everyone I approach) and both of them a) acted like I was completely interrupting them and b) proceeded to act like the comics I had brought – both older issues of Daredevil – were somehow “not worthy.” Azaceta was dismissive, which I can understand because his art in the issue (No.106) sucks. Mann, on the other hand, started ranting about how much he can’t stand his issue (No.111) and how it’s all the inker’s fault. Real classy pal. Oh, and for the record? Stefano Gaudiano is an excellent inker. You’re the guy who tried to emulate Michael Lark and failed. Zinged!
But here we go. I only had one mission for the whole weekend: Have Ed Brubaker sign my copy of Immortal Iron Fist No. 1. I loudly declared that I was Captain Ahab and Brubaker my Moby Dick. “You’re going to KILL THE BRU?!” questioned Venus. Of course not, silly!
At last year’s Con I had co-creator Matt Fraction sign it early before getting properly screwed on the last day by The Bru’s horrific line-up. This year I spent the first two days abandoning equally daunting lines only to arrive first thing on Sunday, comic in hand and resolution firmly set in mind. The march to the back! The table in sight and YES! First in line! A line that backed way the fuck down the aisle seconds later. I had done it! And yet the pimp-slap of near-disaster was still to be delivered. Bendis and The Bru, the partners in crime, were an hour late. Fat guys with short boxes were huffing and puffing, making half-hearted threats to abandon the line like I had done so many times in the past (five in total). But I was resolute in my conviction and spent some of the time kidding around with Matt Fraction nearby.
Some Fan: Hey Matt, you’re setting a bad example by showing up on time.
Matt Fraction: Yeah, I don’t have that whole “contempt for my readers” thing that the others have.
Me: [Because he was sitting by himself with no one asking him for anything] I’d ask you to sign my copy of Iron Fist, but you already did last year.
Matt: Oh I did!
Me: You don’t remember me? I was the guy with this comic! [Holds up comic. Points at signature.]
Matt: Oh yeah! The guy with the comic! You stood in line and we had an awkward conversation!
Me: You remember!
Anyway, The Bru was eventually released from the Seattle PD drunk tank and signed my comic for me and now my life is complete. Emerald City Comic-Con 2011 TOTAL SUCCESS!
THE END.
NOPE! TO BE CONTINUED: COMMISSIONS & COSPLAY! VENUS… WITH A VENGEANCE!!! TOMORROW…
P.S. Tits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
