Ha ha! I threw this shit before I walked in the room!
What’s up you diabolical dick-shrinkin’ motherfuckers? You good? Right on, right on. Let’s get to gettin’ to it then. Fuck a segue!
One: He’s Super-Cool & He Knows Kung Fu!
Blaxploitation is the shit: salty tough talk peppered with soon-to-be-dated slang; tackling social injustices literally with ham-fisted messages and two-fisted justice; .40 caliber vengeance and 70s banana-titted vixens; blowing holes through both ‘The Man’ and ‘The Plot’ with big guns and bad edits; and the crown jewels of every blaxploitation film worth it’s weight in afro – the guaranteed-sick theme song and accompanying soundtrack!
I love blaxploitation as a genre, whether played straight, like Shaft or Super Fly (see above), or for laughs, like I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, or both, like Black Dynamite.
Word has it Baltimore Colts all-star running back Ferrante Jones Michael Jai White put together a mock trailer for fun, a studio saw it and lined his pocket with the greenbacks for Black Dynamite to explode onto the screen fo’ reals! If you ain’t seen this shit yet, then keep them peepers peeled and sit yo’ monkey-ass down, cracker! We’ll wait right here, dig?
Back? Yeah. I know, right? Black Dynamite is the G-damn truth! So you copped you a copy and you done-finished watchin’ the film? Naw, it ain’t over, motherfuckers! Ol’ BD ain’t done-finished with you yet! Next year he’s getting an Adult Swim cartoon and, as the film’s (conveniently located at the bottom of this post) end credits learned us, being animated’s a good look for him. But his ass ain’t content with just conquering cinema and television, no! Now he’s nunchuckin’ his fuckin’ way into comics! If you got Flash, peep the preview below:
Hey! I know it’s exciting but, shhh! You gon’ wake up the rest of the bitches! You may have some trouble finding this at your local comic shop, but you can order Black Dynamite: Slave Island HERE and get your vengeance on, sho’nuff!
Two: The Original, Unbeatable, Irresistible, Smooth, Dark Chocolate Brother, Bitch!
And hey, BD ain’t alone! There’s another bad motherfucker out there cleanin’ up the streets and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout Janitor-Ass Ian! I’m talkin’ ’bout the King of the Ashphalt Jungle, Afrodisiac! Recently nominated for an esteemed Eisner Award, Jim Rugg’s rugged-as-fuuuck blaxploitation Superhero and his hilarious (currently out-of-print) exploits (blaxploits?) were made available in their entirety online FREE! If you’re able to view Flash right now, read it below. If you have an Apple device or want a copy to go, you can cop it through Comixology’s Comics app for $7.99. Mo’ betta proper!
For even more bad-ass blaxploits peep Jay Potts’ wild webcomic, World Of Hurt, or go read our article about the O.G. Blaxploitation/Kung Fu ‘Heroes For Hire,’ Power Man & Iron Fist. Alright, now we done-finished! Gimme five on the pak-hand side and get to steppin’ son! Wit’ yo’ funky ass.
– Nuv
