Gosh, we’ve all been there. One minute, so stoked about something! The next, super ultra disappointment. I know a lot of Nuv’s friends end up feeling this way (myself included). But I’m talking about the worst case scenario here; when it happens in comics.
As faithful followers in the Holiest of Hobbies, we’ve all bought our fair share of crappy funnybooks. Maybe you were having a week where none of your regular pulls came in and you thought to yourself “Sure, this comic looks wack, but there’s no way in hell I’m leaving this shop with only one book.” Maybe some chump hyped it up to the point where you ceased to be able to think for yourself and mindlessly staggered to the store, hope-in-heart and allowance-in-hand. Like I said, we’ve all been there. And as a result we all have a stack of random stray #1’s that will never be worth beans no matter how often we check eBay. Here’s a couple of mine!
Maybe things would have been different if my comic shop had pulled the standard Daniel Acuna cover instead of the Stan Goldberg variant? Who can say? All I know is that I was stoked about the first issue enough to write an entire article on it, but when it came time to hand over another $3.99 for the second..I just…couldn’t…do it. Maybe it’s the new uniforms? Face it, they’re awful. Maybe it’s because I just don’t feel like giving Sue Storm smooches when she’s all mopey about her brother dying in a manner SO HARDCORE that even Steve Epting couldn’t draw it. Anyway, I hope the Future Foundation (?) beat those rogue bee-keepers (?) in the end of the first arc. I guess I’ll just have to live with not knowing.
Again! First issue bought and paid-for, selected straight from the rack of my own volition! And another full-stoke article written proclaiming its greatness! And then, bupkus. Dumped. So what happened? Well, here’s the thing. I don’t like manga in any form and have on many, many public occasions declared it “Barfy to the max!” Ever wonder why I never write about it on the site? Anyhoo, not to besmirch the good name of Salvador Espin, but half of his stuff is pure greatness and the other half is waaaaay too close to manga. Anyway, Espin and my love of Rogue’s cleavage just wasn’t enough to bring me back the next month with my four-bucks in hand. Hopefully (Awesome pun!) I don’t live to regret it considering Hope Summers is probably gonna end up being the reincarnation of Jean Grey*.
I had two reasons for picking up this comic. Kevin Smith wrote it and J. Scott Campbell drew an awesome cover featuring a girl Kato. See, Smith wrote a full script for a movie that never got made. The one that DID get made ruled the earth, and the one that didn’t ended up being a pretty-okay comic book put out by Dynamite Entertainment. I dunno. Maybe if the price had been lower and maybe if Kato had actually been a woman, I can see myself subscribing to a book like that. To Smith’s credit though, the dialogue was pretty snappy. And Jonathan Lau’s art was pretty nice to look at… Dammit. Maybe I should have kept reading this one…
This book had the greatest premise ever. A girl-zombie named Gwen can only keep it together if she eats brains from time to time. Otherwise she goes “all mindless and shambling.” So she gets a job as a grave digger so she’ll have a constant food supply. The problem being that she retains the memories from the people she eats. BEST IDEA SINCE PUSHING DAISIES! But then the greatest idea in comics gets all polluted with side issues like her ghost friend Ellie and her were-terrier ex-boyfriend and other useless crap. Then again, what do I know? The 17th issue just got solicited, so it’s not like people aren’t all over this book. Probably because of this article Miss Teen USSR and Venus wrote? Or maybe it’s Laura and Michael Allred’s art?
Suckered by that great Rafael Albuquerque cover! Haha, that’s only sorta true. I’m a sucker for a re-boot because I love new comics, so when I saw this book in the stands (written by Jeff Lemire, no less!) I was a pretty happy camper. But, as it turns out I don’t really give a fig about Superboy or Pier Gallo’s plain-Jane art or Jamie Grant’s horrific colours. I did, however, end up buying the second issue before dropping the title completely. But that’s only because Phil Noto KILLED IT on the cover. God, I’m such a sucker for a great cover…and Poison Ivy. Let’s not forget Poison Ivy.
I guess if there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that you can’t believe anything we write in this column. (Waitaminute, that only true of Nuv.) The lesson is that $3.99 is a lot of money to pay for bad comics. (Better, but still not great.) How about, all superheroes would be better as women! (Awesome! But not really the point.) Okay, okay. The lesson here is that sometimes you have to take chances on new books because even though sometimes they don’t work out, more often than not they do! And that’s what makes this hobby the greatest! (Nailed it!)
* that’s my best guess, not a spoiler.
– Ian
Me too: I really enjoyed FF #1 and then never picked up another issue. No idea why.
Shut your face!
You should read Rodd Racer and Loose Ends. Amazing comics AND the titles basically describe you and your sex life. Enjoy!