The Best There Is At What He Does, And What He Does Is Beard Write
The best move Marvel’s made in the last few years is handing Jason Aaron the keys to the X-Mansion. Wolverine has been visceral, gritty and fun as fuck to read since Aaron’s had him tangled up in his twisted beard of terror. He’s literally been to hell and back, running into characters like his father, that little piece of shit Puck, Sabretooth, the devil himself, and recently the Red Right Hand, a group of people wronged in some (horrible) way by Logan over the course of his long life, banded together with the sole purpose of torturing him in the worst ways possible. The highlight of Aaron’s run for me though is the new character Lord Deathstrike. He’s an impossibly kick-ass, silent assassin who has an assignment interrupted by the Canucklehead’s hijinks. Check it:
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Meanwhile, Aaron’s been moving the mutants towards their own Civil War in X-Men: Schism. Armed with five superstar artists and five issues, he’s leading to a Professor X/Magneto-level falling out between Cyclops and Wolverine. The lack of bro-ness will result in the X-Men being split down the middle and forced to choose sides. On one side, Wolverine & The X-Men. On the other (assuming he survives) Ol’ One-eye will lead the Uncanny X-Men. I’ve been picking up Schism, and I’m definitely following Aaron, his Beard and Chris “Baby Got” Bachalo onto Wolverine & The X-Men. Kieron Gillen and Carlos Pacheco will probably kill it on Uncanny as well, but hey, this whole thing’s about picking sides, and I don’t like the fence, so fuck ‘em!
Dead Family, Punisher, Chicken, Egg
The funny thing is that all of the above aren’t even the best of Jason’s Marvel output. That would be PunisherMax. In between those bar-raising Dave Johnson covers, Aaron’s been crafting, for my money, the ultimate Punisher epic. But that’s a story for a whole other day and a whole other article. For now, take my word for it and pick it up. Or don’t and miss out. Your call, shitball…
Don’t Make Me (Battle) Chase You
Joe Madureira owned my attention with a pimp-grip in the late 90s/early 2000s. He’s about to do Avenging Spider-Man, a team-up book tailored to big action and cool shit he’s really good at drawing in the same way the early issues of Superman/Batman were for Ed McGuiness. So I guess Marvel will own another $4 of Nuv-money a month. And then the final issue will never come out, Battle Chasers-style. And then Joe Madureira will laugh. And I will kick this innocent dog I’ve taken hostage. Anyone wanna chant “Battle Chasers” with me, “Attica” style?
Tears Of A Dickhead
What else? Oh! Daredevil #1, courtesy of Mark Waid and the deadly duo of Paolo Rivera and Marcos Martin, rules! The story is zippy and smart and the art belongs in a museum. And #2 is just as good! I won’t say too much more. Micro-dong himself, Ian, is yelling at my house from the legally required 50 meters, that I’m “cutting his grass” because he wants to talk about his beloved Matthew Murdock. Who am I to stand between the love of a midget and a fictional character? Don’t you cry, Ian! He’s all yours! Don’t get staples in your wee pee pee, mmm‘kay? ’Nuff said and shit…
ANDI’MOUT!
– Nuv
