Holy crap, did you watch the AFC and NFC Championship games on Sunday!? Both games were close, crazy entertaining, had epic endings, and most likely a suicide. But on a sad note, both Harbaughs are gone so there goes my dream of watching a pissy brother fight on national television. It was one of the best Championship Weekends I’ve witnessed in a long time, made extra rad by us betting quarters on a lot of the plays. I ended up losing a couple bucks but I was in on stupid bets like “I bet 7 quarters Vernon Davis is gonna cry again.” Anyways, I’m going to recap the radness, but first, check out my predictions. Naaailed it.
My score: Ravens 24, Patriots 28. Actual score: Ravens 20, Patriots 23
My score: Giants 20, 49ers 17. Actual score: Giants 20, 49ers 17
AFC Championship
I was actually hoping the Ravens were gonna pull this off but then Billy “The Whiff” Cundiff had to go fuck that up, now didn’t he! There are now reports coming out of Baltimore that he was rushed and didn’t get into his routine before the kick. Pfft, whatevs dude, you choked. What a waste of energy from all that inspirational screaming Ray Lewis does before the game. The Ravens did everything else right which is why this must be so painful for their fans. They got a great game out of the offense, and the defense held the Patriots to their lowest point total since Week 9. Less impressively, the Ravens also had six penalties called against them compared to 0 the week before. The Patriots capitalized on those mistakes and the game was over.
Yes, the Pats did a decent job but they didn’t win the game, the Ravens lost it. Tom Brady didn’t throw a touchdown pass and nobody really stood out on the Patriots side. I guess that means it was a team effort but the game still left a bad taste in my mouth. Ravens fans are running out of quality time before most of the defence is moved into a Seniors Home so it hurts extra bad to end the season on a missed kick. Oh, I just found out that Ray Lewis will be back next year. Probably as the new kicker.
NFC Championship
I guess Victor Cruz read my last article that outlined his general meh-ness from the week before, ’cause that guy was out of his damn mind! He had 10 receptions for 142 yards and the 49ers had no answer for him (no TD Salsa dance though, sorry ladies.) Eli Manning also gave good game by throwing for 316 yards and two touchdowns, and only one droopy hang-dog face after a miscue by Cruz.
The game itself lived up to the hype as both defenses were pretty hard to beat, and it seemed like each quarterback was sacked like 42 times. There were tons of forced fumbles including two by Kyle Williams that were both recovered by the Giants. (Have fun reporting to camp next year pal.) The 49ers didn’t trust their QB Alex Smith enough as he only threw 26 times and the team gained only five first downs with a pass. To put that in perspective, the Giants gained a first down 17 times with the pass. Smith didn’t have a bad game, he just only had Vernon Davis to throw to. Manning spread the ball around a lot more, getting eight people in on receptions.
The 49ers clearly had a tiny playbook that day, but they did take the Giants to overtime and were exciting to watch all year. Speaking of overtime… When is the NFL going to realize that the current system just ain’t right? You can’t have sudden death when each team gets a separate series of possessions. It’s just weird.
The NFL All-Star game is this Sunday and I’m gonna watch like 4 minutes of it. I’ve never actually watched an entire Pro Bowl in my life because I don’t really understand how or why it exists. I get that the players bring their families to Hawaii and schmooze with all the Hall of Famers and all that, but how do you play actual football? You certainly can’t tackle the shit out of a guy, which then makes defensive players that are voted to the Pro Bowl kinda useless right? The NFL would like to award you for your fine defensive play with a trip to Hawaii and to play in the Pro Bowl, but you better not do your job and play defence or So Help Me God!
Being a football fan that loves his defence, the Pro Bowl just doesn’t do it for me and it’s kinda weird watching something so violent and awesome turn into nicey backyard football. I don’t think there should even be a game. Maybe just have a skills competition, or maybe a hotdog eating contest, or better yet, a who can get the most court appearances contest!
So, there we are. Be sure to tune in next week as I travel down the road that the Patriots and Giants took to get to Super Bowl XLVI for this epic rematch. I hope we pick up a one-eyed hitchhiker dressed as a robot pirate!
– Jay Haddow
