Miss Teen USSR

A Week In The Life Of Miss Teen USSR

Posted April 17th, 2012 by Miss Teen USSR in Comics, Movies, Music

Seven days in my life. A gigantic week, wedged full with flavours, sounds & glass stabbed through aortas. Let’s recap, shall we?

WHAT I GIGGED (Yes, that’s an accurate, academically recognized word. Google it. Or just trust me.)
Cults at Venue

It broke my heart 'cause I really loved him

Ok, it was a Monday night after a long sun-dappled weekend. Fine, Sleigh Bells was playing across the street. Alright, it wasn’t their first time in VanCity. Still, this was a lame lame lame showing Vancouver. This music (as Nuv describes it “soft soft soft, LOUDLOUDLOUD”) is meant to be danced to and the last time I checked Vancouver was not experiencing a shortage of adorable tiny girls in big jewelry and tiny hats willing to dance like they have vaginal ants. Where were you Monday? Venue was a graveyard; I even had room to comfortably drape my coat across my bag because coat checks are a great way to pay for lice. I’ll tell you who was there to see the follically gifted band from NYC rip through their fantastic debut (plus bonus Leonard Cohen cover!)

  • First date losers, yelling to be heard, with their back to the band – EJECT!
  • Sullen suckers looking like the gig was their punishment for a terrible haircut – EJECT!
  • Packs of dudes in 2012 versions of No Fear shirts looking very confused – EJECT!

WHAT I READ
Saga #2 by Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples

boom

You loved Y: The Last Man, right? ME TOO! Here’s another mega-fun and quirky Vaughan escape story. His ear for dialogue that is so tight, so funny and so legit (even when it involves royalty with TV’s for heads boning) is very evident in this futuristic fable, now two issues deep. Yeah it’s crammed full with creepy amazing creatures and chase scenes, but at it’s heart beats a love story about the unlikely romance (and resulting baby) produced between the oddest couple since Nuv & I rubbed leather jackets eight or so years ago. The art is just as skillfully weird as the story demands and (stop the presses!) it is something Nuv and I both agree is killing it right now. Saga, pancakes and morning bj’s  - the foundation of any good marriage.

America’s Got Powers #1 by Jonathan Ross & Bryan Hitch

power man

Imagine if reality TV was great again. No housewives, hacks or heroin addicts, just good old fashioned teenagers (juiced with super powers at birth by way of an outer space crystal) battling giant robots and each other? Sounds a little Hunger Games-ish but really, like Saga, at the heart of a big flashy story is something sweet and simple – one guy you’re meant to root for. A hero to emerge that has no powers that anybody thinks are worth exploiting. Little do they know…With Guided View on, this felt like a comic and a half. I will be back for seconds when issue #2 comes out.

WHAT I WATCHED
The Raid: Redemption

Damp & Unstoppable

Saw the reeeeeDICULOUS trailer. Snagged advance tickets to the screening (thanks Golden Age!). Pretty much slap fought each other to annoyance before the lights even dimmed. The basic plot – cops go in to raid an apartment complex infested with criminals, at the top of which sits the smoothest criminal of them all. The plan – go in and get ‘em. The result – blood, swords and bullet holes. I am not a martial arts aficionado but Nuv and Jay, who have seen their fair share of unique kicked-in-the-nuts death scenes, hooted and hollered along with the rest of the packed theatre. There are a few fight scenes where I simultaneously held my breath, half-covered my eyes and reverse farted. Look out for the tiny man with damp wrestler’s hair that might be the toughest SOB on screen ever..

WHAT I HEARD
Kendrick Lamar & Dr. Dre – The Recipe

So catchy, so smooth, so intensely summer-rific that even our kid freezes then throws up a Public Enemy fist when we put this track on. A song that perfectly captures the appeal of the best state on the best coast, this will be the slo-mo get-high-and-make-a-baby song of the year.

WHAT I GORGED ON
Dates stuffed with cheese & wrapped in prosciutto

just eat it

Girls as a gender feel the need to assemble on a regular basis to make sure that we still in fact like each other. (Boys can ignore each other for 10 years and then be the best man in each other’s weddings.) So, we gather monthly, a kid and food and stories in tow, to catch up and talk sh-t about sh-t. My girls are funny, inappropriate, cuddly and crazy foodies. One friend, Heather, consistently blows our minds with her appetizer reveals. This last visit was no exception.

While the big windows (and buses and birds and doggies below) babysat Stella, we gossiped and ate this: boursin cheese-stuffed dates, wrapped in prosciutto, slid under the broiler for 8 minutes then drizzled with pear balsamic vinegar. The sly salty crunch of the charred prosciutto followed by the sweet burst of date and creamy tang of cheese is really more than one mouth can handle. So, I had four. Chased down by red apple wine we were pretty hammered happy by the end of the night.

To good friends, and a great f-cking week!

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