Let’s be real here though. It’s not like I haven’t done this before! Anami now realizes that in order for him to be successful, I now have to be involved in all of his videos. Basically what I’m trying to say is, he wouldn’t be shit without me. LOCKED!

- Jay Haddow

X-Miss

Anami’s alive! AND he’s editing a new video, filmed this past Saturday while you motherfuckers was eating Froot Loops and shit. It will be unveiled in this very spot sometime between now and later. In the meantime, and in case you need reminding, here’s four reasons why you should care. All his videos in one place! Bip, bap, boop, bitches!

Cross My Heart

Bye For Now

Vodka Soda

Call and Response

The answer: a bit of both. Grab a seat, boys and girls. This is gonna be a long (though, unfortunately, not Lawnge) one…

On Thursday April 21, Fortune Sound Club, home of the greatest speaker system ever (seriously, it has teardrop tattoos on it’s face from killin’ them other clubs’ buster-ass speaker systems) kicked off this Easter long weekend with a treat for hip hop fans both old school and new school. Shortly after 11, I stepped up in that motherfucker just-a swinging’ my hair. The R2AK crew was out in (close to) full force. A.T. the Bartender was there rocking like 9 types of wrist and/or sweatband. Miss Teen USSR was chugging Smirnov Ice and telling random mooks “I will break you” in her best Drago voice. Tom Day, as usual, was being the most civilized of us. Jay Haddow and Captain Arthritis were tying their wrists together for a good ol’ fashioned duel, cameras substituted for knives like some cowards. (Nosy mu’fuckers, see the results by clicking right here.) Me? I made my way to the stage as the hometown crowd began the chant for the last R2AK-er in attendance:

“A-Nami-Vice! A-Nami-Vice!”

Anami took to the stage with a setlist of songs, familiar as old friends by now to the ever-growing fanbase that’s always “in front / every show, every time, wrists up.” Familiar but shepherded into a fresh new order. That is, the big gun was unleashed near the top of the set with the monster Take Your Shirt Off. Like lambs to the slaughter, the already-frenzied crowd was completely unprepared for the shit to hit fever-pitch so quick. It may actually have been easier for Vice to complete the rest of the show sans shirt. The way he was being pawed at up there, it just gave them one more thing to tug on. Despite the sexual harassment inflicted on him by the female portion of the crowd (and one very frisky camera that kept trying to hit him in the peen), Vice and the ever-professional New Future kept their composure and retained command of the crowd all the way through the fun-as-shit singalong of Bye For Now. My personal highlight came a few songs earlier via the rap-as-fuck So What. Delivered down his nose and with a sneer, that song more than any reminds me why he and I used to refer to ourselves as the High Horsemen. “Even if it kills me, I’mma be filthy / rich, and you can still be my bitch when I’m ILL!”  Rap, rap y’all! And contrary to the chorus (”Ain’t nobody watchin’, ain’t nobody watching’ you”), this night, all eyes were on Anami. So basically, he’s a liar and shit.

And now, the main event: Black Sheep. Which brings us back to the question I asked at the top of the page. By referring to the show as Black Sheep, I’m sure a lot of people assumed, like I did, that Mista Lawnge would be in attendance.

Nope.

That’s okay though, right? Though Lawnge rapped on quite a few tracks, he was the DJ. The MC, Dres, was (is) THE Black Sheep. And despite Lawnge’s absence, the turntables were not left unmanned, as the more than capable hands of DJ Strike softened us up with some solid ‘zigga-zigga.’ So, even though it wasn’t BLACK SHEEP, it was still Black Sheep. “Dres, D-R-E-S,” my #11 all-time MC, and crafter of one of my top 5 all-time hip hop albums, the should-be-in-every-best-of-conversation classic, A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing. So, initial disappointment gave way to anticipation as I tried to guess which of the eternally etched in my ears joints he’d hit us with. I was positive we wouldn’t hear one of my favourite obscure tracks, the scathing Hammer diss, H.A.A. (Here’s Another Asshole), but maybe Strobelite Honey? (There were plenty of ‘em in attendance.) Try Counting Sheep? Butt In The Meantime? The hilarious U Mean I’m Not? (”Waitin’ for the motherfuckin’ school bus, aaarrrrghhh!!”) How about “I know you wanna, you know you wanna…Gimme The Finga“? No? Then perhaps this column’s namesake, Have U.N.E. Pull?

And back to the beginning question we go. This is like some weird space/time continuum loop…

Amidst the necessary evils of pushing his (admittedly dope) new shit off the From The Black Pool Of Genius, the second album joint Summa The Time and a sick, consonance-heavy acapella, we got three Sheep’s Clothing tracks total. THREE. (Kinda.) Let me put it this way. The album is twenty-two tracks long. Removing the six intro/interlude/skit tracks, that’s sixteen BANGERS. Then, even if we take away half of those (some are unimaginable without Lawnge’s involvement) that’s eight tracks that would’ve set the combustible crowd to combusting.

Don’t get me wrong. The previous paragraph paints a picture of a lackluster audience and set, and that’s NOT what I’m saying. I just have a giant rap-boner for Sheep’s Clothing, and judging by the reaction to those two-and-a-half tracks that he did perform (I’ll explain shortly), so did everyone else I encountered that night. Push your new shit, but give the people what they want, nay, NEED! Okay, enough complaining. I’ll cut to the chase: did I regret the show? Fuck no!

New shit, old shit, it don’t make no never mind: Dres can still spit! Shee-it, want proof? Looka the vee-deo, paisan!

So, despite not getting exactly the set I wanted, I did get exactly the MC I wanted. And as for the two-and-a-half Sheep’s Clothing songs? Well, whoever “said (he) had it goin’ on” wasn’t telling’ no word of a lie (unlike that cad Anami Vice). Flavor of the Month got a crazy-ass fevered (heh) reaction. Similak Child was the half-song I was talking about, as it was an almost unrecognizable remix of one of the most distinct tracks ever. Hearing the song without the dogs-barking beat made me feel weird, like staring directly at Captain Arthritis’ mutant pinkies while eating – gross, captivating, wrong.

I’d just like to pause and note that I’ve named like a billion Sheep’s Clothing songs without repeating myself or even mentioning the biggest one yet…

And, cue the reason everyone’s here - The Choice Is Yours (Revisited). And cue every complaint I’ve made not mattering. There are some songs so large, so influential, so… perfect, that you could get kicked in the nuts with flaming shoes and stung by a million angry bees in the eyes and still have a smile brought to your face when they come out the speaker. I’ll tell you this, kids. You have not lived until you’ve heard Choice coming straight from the Sheep’s mouth and out of Fortune’s speakers. You have not lived until you crouch down with Dres for the “Engine, Engine Number 9” part (precisely as I predicted here, said as snidely as possible) and do the slow build to fuck-yeah-jump-high-five-spazzery. Twice! (Lucky for you truant mu’fuckers Jay caught the shit on video. He had to tape over some prized peeping-tom vids. Don’t make his sacrifice be in vain – check that shit out here.)

Yo, I had to tell it like it is. I had some issues with how it all went down, but the end result is: I saw Dres, of Black Sheep, perform The Choice Is Yours, off A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing, LIVE. I gotta file that in the success column, right? Still, I feel like an asshole. Like I just punched my dad, or tugged on Superman’s cape or some shit. Feel free to “gimme the finga” next time you see me.

C’mon Dres. I know you wanna, you know you wanna…

– Nuv

Anami Vice:

Black Sheep:

Black Sheep – The Choice Is Yours (Revisited)

Anami Vice – Hollywood

What, other than being on various ‘Greatest of All Time’ lists (like this one and that one), do Naughty By Nature and Black Sheep have in common? Well, come April 21st at Fortune Sound Club , they will both have performed live in front of me. In Vancouver. On the same bill as Anami Vice. Yes, the same Anami Vice who I drove around with as a teen, shotgun in the ‘5 O’Clock’ Shadow, listening to those very same artists, rapping along at full volume and ranking them and their albums, songs and lines on the aforementioned lists.

“Who’s the Black Sheep, What’s the Black Sheep?“

Black Sheep consists of an MC (Dres) and a DJ (”The Sugar Dick Daddy” Mista Lawnge) that are responsible for some of the cleverest shit ever put on wax. (Bonus Nuv-Fact: One of my few songs that I can still stand, from back when I used to have time to rap, is heavily Black Sheep-influenced.) Also, check out my favourite battle record ever, H.A.A. (Here’s Another Asshole), their scathing and side-splitting MC Hammer diss, featuring such golden punchlines as “If I was your dick, you still couldn’t fuck with me” and (in reference to Hammer’s childhood stint as a ball-boy for the Oakland Athletics) ”chasin’ my balls like I was the fuckin’ Oakland A’s.” Oh and, of course, “you and your Cousin It ain’t shit.” Priceless!

“And you can’t beat that with a bat!”

They also have (inarguably!) one of the Top Ten Hip Hop Albums of all time, the criminally slept-on and way ahead of it’s time, A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing. Wolf was alternately funny and just plain fun, and always immaculately rapped. Even the ad-libs at the ends of the songs were milk-out-the-nose hilarious. “Bitch, let me pee on you! LET me PEE on you!!” And the songs themselves?! Shee-it! Every song was bananas, from the gangster-est gangster rap satire ever spat, U Mean I’m Not, to Flavor of the Month, to the ode to nightclub ugly lights, Strobelite Honey, to the impossibly cool Similak Child, to the lead single, and one of the best songs in rap history, The Choice Is Yours! (I refer to, and prefer, the ‘Revisited’ version.) As soon as that opening bass line kicks in, no matter your whereabouts, a dude with a hoodie will magically appear, clutching his hoque (hat-toque) yelling, “OH SHIT! THIS?! before buggin’ out and rapping along to the “Here they come yo, here they come…” refrain. And, fair warning: when the song gets to the “Engine, Engine No. 9” part, you should quickly take cover. The whole place will get low and hushed, and begin the deliberate build to the frenzied, absolute shit-storm of “PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP! BACK ON THE SCENE…” Don’t get Hurt Locker-ed, sons!

“I got Brothers in the Jungle, Cousins on a Quest…”

And Anami? Well, what can I say… watching a guy I’ve known for more of my life than not, evolve into an Anthem-making machine (check out the syphilis-catchy Bye For Now, my early call for ‘The Song of Summer 2011,’ which has either nothing or everything to do with the fact that I’m in the video and vain, or that Jay is at his Haddow-est in it) AND setting impossibly high bars with each project only to surpass them AND sharing stages with the likes of Treach and “Dres, D, R, E, S” makes me… angry. ‘Cause I hate shit that’s awesome.

“Waitin’ for the motherfuckin’ school bus, aaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!”

So, to recap – Mark your calendars! Thursday April 21st (soon) at Fortune Sound Club (best speakers ever), live and direct, you get Black Sheep (living legends) and Anami Vice (friend-o), as well as Main Offenders, DJ Make Way, Jay Swing, Hedspin and Marlon J English! Don’t believe me? Check out the Facebook event page for more info, then! The choice is yours, pooh-butts: you can get with this – by buying tickets online from Clubzone or in person from DIPT, Beatstreet, Zulu Records, Sharks & Hammers, Eastside Urban Wear or Red Cat Records - OR… well, actually, there is no other option.

“Yo! I’ll see ya later, unless I see ya first…”

– Nuv

A considerable amount of time before all the aforementioned happened, Okay City took to the stage and performed their always entertaining rendition of… well… Okay City. Legend has it that the two MCs who make up the group – Ray Black and Bill Maka – met in college and bonded over their mutual regret regarding the lack of stage prowess of so many local hip hop acts. Thus, they formed a crack commando unit, promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Vancouver underground, and survive as soldiers of fortune. As per usual, The City had the whole room going by their fourth bar. And by the time they were finished their obviously-longer-than-normal-opening-set-because-the-main-act-was-held-up-at-the-border, the crowd was more than adequately loose. I love it when a plan comes together. Cigar.

Unfortunately, by the time Ray and Bill were through, Mac had just gotten through himself. So, about 25 minutes later, in an altogether ballsy move, Ray Black, Ness (Okay City’s gracious third man and DJ) and local hip hop aficionado Young Francis came back on stage and banged out the hip hop karaoke classic, Scenario. If I remember correctly, at some point during the song I turned to my buddy and asked “Am I just really high or is [Young Francis] actually a’ight?” He assured me that it wasn’t just me. Once the scenario had played out, it was clear Mr. Miller had better show up soon or security might have their hands full. (On a side note, the Fortune door staff always seems to function remarkably well in what are sometimes fucked up situations; no lack of professionalism and no shortage of cajones) But then, we saw it: the crack of the door in-behind and to the right of the stage. We caught a glimpse of a red toque-wearing (stocking cap or beanie for all you Americans) young man, eyes wide with anticipation.

A disturbing trend in hip hop these days is MCs rapping over full versions of their songs for their stage show. That is – their DJs run the instrumentals for a given track, but with the lyrics still on them. I get why they do it. It sounds huge. And any mistakes that are made become almost undetectable. But while Mac does run full versions of his tracks he makes up for it in two ways. One, he really does give ‘er (go hard for all you Americans) when it comes to rapping his lines live for the crowd. He is clear and enthusiastic about what he is saying. Two, he often goes acapella for entire verses. He sang the chorus for All I Want Is You twice. He was in-tune and wholly engaging, and by the second run through everybody was singing with him. The stand out track for me was Good Evening. That beat, when amplified by the mythical beast that is the Fortune Sound system and matched by an appreciable roar from the crowd, made for what might be described as a Simon Says moment. C’mon, you know what I’m talking about. You love that shit.

After the set, my well-connected friend managed to shuffle us into the green room. Mac, clearly exhausted, did his best to be polite. When I got the chance, I thanked him for the show and made an exit. My friend, on the other hand, stayed and gave me updates via text on his mission to chill with Mac. It seems that in the end, Mr. Miller couldn’t take it anymore, handed my buddy a Penguins snap back as a sort of consolation prize, and went to bed. Make no mistake; I am applauding Mac’s behavior. It was the hallmark of a web-savvy artist who understands that here – in the future – the way his Internet acquired fan base perceives him, is everything. Or maybe he is just a nice guy.

– A. Vice

PS: Always make sure to feed your Blob.

[Editor's Note: Click this sentence to read more reasons Vice likes this K.I.D.
Click the pic below to see more pics that jerk Jay Haddow got from the show!]

Well fuck it, iPod play counts don’t lie. K.I.D.S. was my favorite of 2010. And if you think that’s lame, I guess I’ll have to live with that. But I will be at Fortune on Wednesday January 26th, with the rest of the fan-boys and girls, singing along and waving my hands in the air… and I won’t care.

For those of you who wouldn’t part with eighteen bucks to go see Mac this week, do me a favour: download his mix tape, listen and let the hate swell within you. But then make a good argument* for why you don’t think Knock Knock is a fucking genius party anthem OR why you can’t admit that Mac murders the already murderous beat on Good Evening OR how come you don’t get nostalgic about early nineties hip hop when you hear the first few bars of Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza. I’m truly interested to see what you come up with…

For the rest of you, get your tix here and I’ll see you at the show.

– A. Vice

* The term “good argument” should be understood in this context to mean a series of premises which, if true, necessarily indicate the truth of your conclusion. Just leaving “MAC MILLER SUXXXX” or “UR GAY!” in the comment section will not suffice.

Mac Miller: Live @ Fortune Sound Club – Wednesday, January 26th

MORE UPCOMING HIGHLIGHTS FROM OUR FRIENDS AT FORTUNE SOUND CLUB

Mr Vegas Live at Fortune Sound

Tuesday January 25th Fatale and Fortune Sound present Mr Vegas with guests DJ Lady Lane & DJ Arems. Advance tickets only $25 online HERE or in stores at Dipt. More event info HERE.

Bonus: The first person to write “MR VEGAS” in the Comments section below wins two free tickets! Offer expires tomorrow night (Mon Jan 24) UPDATE: CONTEST CLOSED

Das Racist New Date!

Thursday January 27th Mishka Presents Das Racist (Brooklyn, NY) with Hot Sex & High Finance, Winniecooper.net DJs Hunk the Drunk & Christian Flores and Wobangs! Doors at 9pm, Show at 11pm. Pre-sale tickets only $12 available HERE or $15 at the door. And enter for a chance to win a $250 MISHKA prize pack by e-mailing stickers@snkrbox.com w/MISHKA X DAS RACIST in the subject line! More event info HERE.

Diamond D 1st ever MC set in Vancouver!

Thursday February 3rd Fatale & Fortune Sound present Diamond D for his first ever MC set in Vancouver with guests Ndidi Cascade & Deanna and DJ Hedspin! Advance tickets only $18 at Dipt or online HERE and more event info HERE.

MURS & Black Milk co-headlining show

Thursday February 24th Fatale & Fortune Sound present MURS & Black Milk co-headlining show with guest DJ She! $30 advance tickets available in stores at Dipt, Beatstreet, Red Cat and Zulu or online HERE. Rsvp to the event page HERE.