Jay: “Once again, back is the incredible…”

Nuv: “…Rah-uh, ruh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh…”

You: What the hell are youse two guys yammering on about?

Nuv: Tsk, tsk. I thought you knew the ledge and shit. Hey, Haddow. Learn this motherfucker…

Jay: Ahem. (adjusts imaginary tie) OHMYFUCKINGGOD, THEFUCKINGGODISCOMING! Rakim Allah! Coming back! To Vancouver! TO FORTUNE SOUND CLUB!

Nuv: Yo, you can’t ace the test without studying, B. Do the knowledge.

Jay: Translation for old and/or white folk…

Nuv: …AKA the Haddow family…

Jay: …read on for ticket prices and other relevant details…

FORTUNE SOUND CLUB &  STUSSY PRESENT…

THE LEGENDARY RAKIM (ERIC B & RAKIM)

W/ GUESTS CONSCIENCE, J-DENNIS, JAY SWING

WHERE & WHEN: Sunday, May 27 at Fortune Sound Club (147 E. Pender at Main in Chinatown) doors 8pm – 12am

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE: HERE.

TIX: Early Bird (limited quantity) $20, Advance $25, and then $30 available at Beatstreet, DIPT, Livestock Gastown, online HERE.

“I’m pretty sure the first time a rapper’s delivery was referred to as butter, that dude was probably bumping Rakim. While others had to scream on the mic to get your attention, Rakim laid back on it and still came off menacing. Cool and calculating, he spun a web with his words, lured you in and had you exactly where he wanted you. Some say he fell off. You got it all wrong, melon-farmers. The art of MCing just finally raised itself to his level. So, “Stick my dick in ya ear and fuck what ya heard.” – Nuv Takhar, 2009

Jay: “It’s the return of the Wild…”

Nuv: I already did that one.

Jay: Oh. Right. How about “spread the word, I’m in E-F-F-E-C-T, a smoo…

Nuv: Yo, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but RAKIM HAS THE BEST FLYER OF ALL TIME! Note the third name over from the left at the bottom of that shit.

Jay: THAT’S US!

Nuv: THAT’S RIGHT!

Jay: Well alright then.

Nuv: Say, any o’ you mu’fuckers know how to time warp me straight to May 27th? No? Pfft. We OUTTA here.

Jay: Yo, what happened to peace?

Nuv: PEACE!

Still need convincing?! Shee-it. R2AK’s been hippin’ you hippies to Rakim since time BEGAN and shit! Nuv and Jay saw Rakim last time he came to Vancouver (thanks, and super-mega-pogo-jump high fives, to Jay Swing!) and had to wear eye patches over both eyes for a while after. Oh, they could see fine. They just kept crying out blown-mind bits. POW: Nuv’s review! BIFF: Jay’s pics/vids! ZOWIE: Nuv’s list of the top 18 Rakim songs! And if you’re still unsure, go re-read Nuv’s quote (up, and to the right of Piggy Seldon’s floating head of doom). And if you’re STILL still unsure after that?

Go fuck yourself.

- Nuvy T. & Jayhad

The second annual V.I.C. Fest will be held on June 16th, again on the gorgeous grounds of St. Ann’s Academy. After this small taste of the f-ck yeah fun to come, we’re sure the second year will play out like so – crammed with a variety of talented local performers, food & booze. And boobs. And violins. And lots of beer.

Ultimately, it’s the very best of what Vancouver Island has to offer.

Here are a few snaps Jay caught of the night – a tease of great things to come.
(For tickets, great contests and more info, go here.)
See you there!

Our cast & crew: Jay Haddow – first class wingman, purveyor of women’s belts and cameraman. Nuv Takhar – legendary insulter, drinker and bossy SOB. And me, missteenussr – the beautiful and mysterious journalist who dropped a small candy, heard it roll into the dark and waited anxiously all night for someone to slip and fall and die.

Invited by our pal/performer Jameson Parker and enticed by the promise/premise of original music by our other pal Anami Vice (who could create a sick beat from baby wails and a garbage truck backing up), we were pumped to see this “ad-rap-tation” of Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors. The sign at the door promised 110 minutes with no intermission. The buzzing crowd promised an enthusiastic reception. Let’s do this.

Lights dim and the show jumped off with a Coles Notes catch-up of who’s who and what’s what. (This was mega handy for me, the multi-character-arc novice who needs to pause Game of Thrones every 5 minutes and ask out loud, “wait, who the f-ck is he?”) William Shakespeare was the original double-cross storyteller, quick with sick quips and lines, who loved mistaken identity more than mead and whores (I’m totally guessing here.) Turns out hip hop started out closer to Cambridge than Queensbridge.

This boogie down production came in four different flavours, known by the names of: the aforementioned Jameson Parker, Brian Cochrane, Niko Koupantsis & David A. Kaye. Explosive and crisp, the quartet ripped confidently through the opening stanzas in front of a beautifully simple set – a one piece backdrop of spray paint-tagged plywood. Manned by a mostly mute DJ Oker (who piped up and in with great timing when needed), it was perfect for sliding in and around and through and handily doubled as a residence, whorehouse and church. Costumes were slashed and splashed and unabashedly 80s/2012 ironic – with neon, zippers, high-tops and Dwayne Wayne sunglasses. All of a sudden the stage was indeed set for a (wicka-wicka-Willy Shakespeare) good time.

If there was a stumble, a fumble or misplacement of syllable, I didn’t catch it. Supportive and seemingly engrossed in each other’s lines, the cast stole the energy off each other, ate it, sh-t it, ate more, puked it back up (like a G-rated 2 girls, 1 cup) and ate it again, carrying each other through multiple scenarios, pseudonyms, fights, farces, breakdowns, breakups and break-dances. Cochrane was tall as timber, voice booming out across the room, with the range and chutzpah to pull off a lovesick dog, nun with a secret and a jovial Jew jeweler. Kaye, spry, loose and tight, pulled off the most densely written and paced dialogue of the night, and even slid into the crowd at one point to network with his net worth.

It wouldn’t be a Shakespearean adaptation if there weren’t hairy legs poking out from under a dress. Koupantsis’s Rosie Perez-inspired Luciana was pretty much the ill na-na of all time – I don’t think an actor with real T n A could have pulled her off better. Her ass shaking and arm waving was almost as amazing as his cop character, a spandex-clad mustachioed creep with a subtle taste for horse ass. Parker, tasked with portraying a beautiful straight man in a ridiculous wig, (and her indignant brow-beaten husband amongst others) was pitch perfect.

Over top of some amazing beats made by the effervescent A. Vice, the cast literally ran ragged through lip limbering lines, character changes and so many goddamn words it made your head both nod and spin. Let me repeat again: there are no breaks. Beat breaks – yes. A Rastafarian doctor and a sassy hooker – yes. 30 ways to describe taking a dump – yes. Time for the cast to take a breath, piss, or lozenge – no.

As a whole, the night is essentially best described with words used in energy drink commercials. Four guys putting on a full throttle, non-stop, high energy, balls to the wall (and shrink-wrapped in spandex) take no prisoners, eat your mom out performance, son. I don’t know when they had time to breathe.

This talented crew will be performing night after night (excluding Mondays) through till the 22nd of April. The Bomb-itty of Errors. Come show them some love before the bridge is over. (buh-duh-bye-bye.)

At 14 years young, my first studio session was the kind of thing I always dreamed of, as I spat raps from my endless notebook, thinkin’ I was the baddest motherf*cker since Shaft… until I heard the playback. Let’s just say the sound lacked, ummm… SACK. With my new posse impressed with any delivery that didn’t sound like an awkward cracka rappin’ in a mirror, I still felt somethin’ was missing. After the session we piled into a busted-ass little Mazda to go on a mission, as DJ Cash barked at me to grab a CD case wedged between us sardines in the backseat. He popped the disc into the system that was worth twice as much as the car, dialed it to track 5, and sh-t went down that would change my attitude towards rhymin’ for good.

“Booomp-BooWAAAAAH-Booomp…. BUCK’EMDOWN!buck’emdown!BUCK’EMDOWN!buck’emdown!BUCK’EMDOWN!!”

I officially lost my sh-t. The next week I got a hold of a hot Discman, the Enta Da Stage CD, and proceeded to try to deem myself the West Coast Buckshot Shorty. Twenty years later I finally got to thank him.

Fortune Sound Club was the spot, but there was a feeling in the air that it would officially be transformed into Fortune Bucktown at any moment, with so many possibilities of which of the Bootcamp militia would hit the stage first. Then the dark, deep buzz of bass came… “LET’S-LET’S GIT IT-GIT IT OOONNN!!!”

Smif-N-Wessun came barrelin’ out to the track that 18 years ago made them official, not just as Bootcamp representatives, but as the grimy answer to the randoms still wearin’ cartoon sh-t and doin’ the Roger Rabbit. They reminded the crowd why they SHOULD’VE been in a boxing ring for their video, instead of “LL Cool J’in’ it” cuz it looked cool. They brought the Bucktown thunder like they haven’t missed a show in years, even lookin’ like they haven’t stopped bangin’ stages. Either that, or they just stepped out of a DeLorean from times when rhymes were better cuz they were stank dirtaaay. In a time when M.C. ’s that mildly associate with hard-rocks feel the need to act hard on a singin’-ass track, they rained the surREAL. Even the pretty little hotties were gettin’ their mean mug on. Coincidentally, I was smilin’ like a schoolgirl at a Justin Gaga show.

As Sean Price took the forefront of the stage, some of us couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. It was no fault of Ruck (now known as Price), who would’ve been dope solo if he was never associated with Rock, (his partner in Heltah Skeltah) but that situation is what it is. Homeboy can still rap his ass off. Even though I kinda missed the cryptic back’n'forth those two huge bastards had in their heyday with Nocturnal, and classic kicks like “Bruvas betta wreckognize…” growled by the Rockness Monsta, Sean did remind us that even though Shaq was physically more dominant, Tim Duncan made his team better. I just wish Shaq was there to tear the rim off just once.

On that note, there’s manymanymany M.C.’s that have inspired me over the last 20 years… Chuck D, Shock G, Del, Mos Def, Meth, Em, the Fission. But no M.C. inspired me to represent the “little big man” like Buckshot Shorty. He went from one album that changed how confident underrated rappers rapped, to a Smif-N-Wesssun album that brought “east coast hard” back, from gangsta rap bein’ dominated by the West Coast, to inventing the idea of a “team” of groups formin’ like Voltron. And I finally got to be part of the West Coast showin’ a hip-hop icon long overdue propers.

With Jay Haddow flankin’ me, Buckshot showed and proved, takin’ us through the days of East Coast ghetto glory. As he went though his wheelhouse of back-in-the-day tracks that had me thinkin’ I was still wearin’ camo pants and Timbalands, he asked “Who got the props?” and “How many M.C.’s must get dissed?” and the answer was… Bootcamp… and all of them.

In a hip-hop world where the real is few and far between, I’m grateful that there’s still a place that old school can Enta Tha Stage. As a wise man once said… “Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka.”

– A.T.

Mo’ Motherfuckin’ Photos by Jay Haddow!

Duck Down! It’s Gun Clappa Haddow yellin’ SOUND THE ALARM!! Boot Camp Clik is coming to Fortune Sound Club. This, my fine feathered friends, makes my East Coast hip hop lovin’ ears veeeery happy. This is gonna be amazing shit for serious, and I’ll be front and center, at attention, reporting to Drill Sgt. Buckshot and gettin’ my drink on and not knowing the limits and shit! Here’s the info on how to make sure you don’t miss Boot Camp or me in a fit of happy-spazzery! Huzzah!

Thursday April 5th Fortune Sound presents Boot Camp Clik Tour with Black Moon’s Buckshot, Smif N Wessun and Sean Price plus special guests Boom Box Saints, Kids and DJs Marvel, Kemo, Jay Swing and hosted by Marlon J English. $15 early bird tickets are on sale now HERE. More event info HERE.

Shit iz real, fam! Basically, what we’ve established is that if you’re worth knowing, I’ll see you there. Oh, and I had to hijack this post from Nuv’s March To The Beat series. 31 days, 31 songs. Except… I just stole a day. What the hell, Jay? Why you gotta ruin everything AND talk in third person?! SHUT UP, VOICE IN MY HEAD THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MECHA-MR. BELVEDERE!! Hey, I may be stern, but I’m also just, dammit! Here’s a song. Fuck it! Here’s TWO songs. And we’re square. AND I’M OUT!

Let’s Get It On – Smif -n-Wessun

I Got Cha Opin – Black Moon

– Jay Haddow

– Jy Harris

– Jy Harris

That was kinda cool EH?! But back to the lecture at hand: even though we missed ads like that one, we were still glued to the TV, mute button at the ready for our incredibly shitty commercials. When football moves resumed we were spoiled by a great game that went down to the last play. Let’s start at the beginning though with Eli Manning moving the ball well and spreading it around to a bunch of different receiving targets. On his very first pass attempt, from his own end zone, Tom Brady however, threw the ball to no one and was called for intentional grounding. That’s a safety folks (insert Nelson laugh) and that’s why the score was a whopping 2-0 for a while. At the end of the first quarter, Eli connected with Victor “Salsa” Cruz and the score was 9-0. It looked like the G-Men were in complete control at this point but Brady just had to be Brady and somehow had the Pats up 10-9 at halftime. I guess he started to get flashbacks to Super Bowl XLII when their perfect season was ruined by this very team.

Madonna’s performance was pretty good to be honest, and, sure enough, she didn’t look sluttier than Nicki Minaj or M.I.A. Some people won some quarters thanks to the Material Girl and, before we knew it, the game was back on. Good thing too ’cause the second half was when shit got real! Brady made nine passes in a row at this point and eventually made 16 in a row, which is now a Super Bowl record. I guess somebody told Tommy Boy to stop being a bitch, so he whipped his hair, slammed his helmet on and had the Patriots up 17-9. Those 17 unanswered points were all the Pats could muster though as the Giants defence decided to show up and shut shit down. Eli then chose to throw the ball to anyone that was open and whoever it was caught the ball. Pretty simple if you ask me. Unless, of course, you’re a Patriot receiver late in the game. I guess they took the second half off.

The New York Football Giants won an amazing game, and my hat goes off to both teams for giving us fans a rare awesome Super Bowl… again. Eli won the MVP (and earned it) but he had a lot of other guys step up. Ahmad Bradshaw and Justin Tuck had huge games and all three receivers (Mario Manningham, Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz) were like “Samesies!” They didn’t try anything stupid and they didn’t worry when the Patriots scored 17 points in a row. Everyone knew what to do, and it sounds sappy, but they really did play as a team. I also think it’s awesome that the game came down to the Giants defense stopping Brady, that crazy offense and forcing the Patriots to have their lowest point total of the season. Damn.

And now a bit of depression kicks in, as we won’t see the NFL for a long time, but I’m fighting it. I’m choosing to look back on an amazing season and remember things like, oh I don’t know, three quarterbacks throwing for over 5000 yards! A rookie QB (Cam Newton) throwing for over 4000 yards, 21 TD’s and getting 14 rushing touchdowns! The San Francisco 49ers not allowing a rushing TD until Week 14! Sheesh! When this all settles in, there’s gonna be a lot of epic NFL Films presentations for me to swoon over, and it’ll tide me over for a while, but all too soon it’ll come crashing to an end, leaving me wondering if the 2012-13 season can top this.

I think next season will be even better because there won’t be an NFL Lockout looming over the summer. That basically means the players can do their regular off-season workout so there won’t be 1300 sprained groins on opening day again! The teams that suffered painful losses can look at the images of the Giants dancing around with their shiny new rings and use that to fuel them into getting ready for the upcoming season (49ers). Or they could just be some bitch-babies about it and mope all summer (Packers).

Heading into the seven month wait until next season, I do have some questions. Will Jesus guide young Tebow’s hand again? Will a QB break another record that stood for almost 30 years? Will there be more coach fights? Will Ray Lewis finally eat someone’s face? Will I go to another live game? Will the now healthy Peyton Manning play in Indianapolis? And, most importantly, will I actually be able to wait almost as long as it takes a chick to grow a baby for the season to start?! I hope I can. And I hope my good old pals will throw the ball around with me on Sundays to help ease the pain of waiting.

Only like 306, 803 minutes to go. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick…

Sigh.

- Jay Haddow

New York Giants

You have to start off by mentioning Eli Manning first and foremost as the MVP for the Giants this season. He threw for just under 5000 yards and 29 touchdowns (18 of those in the 4th quarter) and officially stepped out of the huge shadow cast by his brother Peyton Manning. (Legend has it that shadow was caused by Peyton’s mutant forehead.) Eli isn’t exactly the most charismatic dude but who gives a shit; he got his team to the Super Bowl, again. Time to give this guy the credit he deserves, and maybe some pointers on how to not give the most boring interviews of all time. I’ll admit that it took a while for me to warm up to the guy but after watching him this season it’s clear he really is an elite quarterback. He’s more confident now and seems to know the game itself as well as any QB. He’s also more fired up and emotional rather than being kinda meh about most things. The coaches now realize they have a QB that doesn’t need to have his hand held throughout the game cause Eli can get it done. Just ask the Patriots about the last time these two teams played in the Super Bowl.

Victor Cruz surprised the holy bejesus out of all of us this season, especially me cause he was my surprise fantasy monster, well him and Megatron! By the way I’m now officially incapable of saying the name Megatron without yelling it like Starscream would. Okay so Cruz was third in total receiving yards this season with 1536 just behind Wes Welker and… Meeegatrooon! It’s a pretty good chance that the weak ass secondary of New England is gonna get worked by Cruz early on which will lead to him getting double-teamed, which will then lead to the other 400 receiving targets Manning has being even more open. The Patriots are going to have to respect Cruz out there, much like the Giants will for Welker, but I’m positive both dudes will be major factors in the game, and then salsa with each other.

The Giants have a far superior and far less chubby defensive line. Much like the last time these teams met in the Super Bowl, the Giants D will get to Brady and punch him in his ass. I predict Brady will get sacked 6 or 7 times and get forced to make a play on almost every down. Completely (clinically?) insane and crazy intense, the Giants were second in the league this year in sacks and 1st overall in causing panic, bad decisions and piss-pants in opposing QBs. This line can be the deciding factor in Super Bowl XLVI, all they have to do is get through a decent New England offensive line, and murder Brady.

New England Patriots

Tom Brady threw for 5,235 yards and had 39 touchdowns this season. If he wins this Super Bowl he passes Joe Montana for most wins in NFL Playoff history with 17… wow! It’s weird to watch myself type this, but he’s making a pretty good case for himself to be regarded as the best quarterback of all time. It’s hard to argue against his numbers and if he wins this game on Peyton Manning’s turf, against Peyton’s baby bro, while Peyton has a fucked up neck, it will be the ultimate F-U move. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen but it’s hard to stop someone that good, especially with a ton of offensive options and a ballsy coach. Looking at Brady’s stats it’s pretty obvious he ran the entire Patriots organization this year. He attempted 611 passes and connected on 401 of them and he had 3 rushing touchdowns. He seems to be poised to win another Super Bowl and if his big guys in front of him have the game of their fat lives, then he will.

Gronk no like bad ankle, that make Gronk mad. Does anyone else expect this guy to just grunt and moan and smash the table in interviews? He literally is a beast, oh that reminds me, how’s the second part of that article coming A.T.? Ha, inside joke, you had to be there. Anyways, Rob Gronkowski is the biggest receiving threat in the game because every guy on D needs to know where he is at all times so they don’t get Gronk-Smashed in the face. This guy is impossible to defend, even for a great defense like the one in New York, even if said defense double-teams him. Look at these numbers, 1327 yards receiving and 17 touchdowns, and he’s a tight end! How does a tight end finish the season with the second most touchdowns?! Now we’re in the playoffs and Gronk has been banged up a bit and all the buzz this week has been about his sprained ankle and the possibility of him not playing. I don’t think I’m buying that. Can you imagine having the season he’s had and then sitting out the Super Bowl? Gronk will play and be a huge pain in the ass for the Giants secondary. Gronk Smash!

I’m a sucker for NFL Films, so when I watched A Football Life: Bill Belichick I said to myself “Crap, now I like him, great!” I didn’t think I’d ever like the convicted cheater, but I do, and I respect the way he deals with his players, especially Brady. Those two have a relationship you just don’t see that often in sports: a coach and a player on equal terms calmly discussing how to be successful. Belichick has respect for Brady, as he should, and often lets Brady decide what it’s going to take to win the game, and that just doesn’t happen on any other team. When I stack the Giants and the Pats up against each other, I have to give the coaching edge to the Pats. I know Tom Coughlin is a great coach and he’s great at challenges, but he doesn’t have the same set of balls that Hooded-Monk has. Belichick also slots in players at odd positions like TE Aaron Hernandez at running back and WR Julian Edelman at corner back. It’s just the ‘Patriot Way’ apparently but it does shake up how the coaches on the other teams prepare for the game, and I kinda like it. It’s just how he rolls. I’m just happy that this Super Bowl has at least one coach that will go for it on 4th and 15.

It’s a little sad to be at the end of yet another amazing NFL season but at the same time I can’t wait for this rematch. I’m having a hard time deciding who’s going to win and it seems I have some coin flipping to do. Nah that ain’t me! I’m going to say the Giants will win this rematch. Their D is that good and their receivers are going to light up that jerry-rigged secondary of the Patriots. My score is below… and I’m out!

Giants 27, Patriots 23

– Jay Haddow

My score: Ravens 24, Patriots 28. Actual score: Ravens 20, Patriots 23
My score: Giants 20, 49ers 17. Actual score: Giants 20, 49ers 17

AFC Championship

Ravens vs. Patriots

I was actually hoping the Ravens were gonna pull this off but then Billy “The Whiff” Cundiff had to go fuck that up, now didn’t he! There are now reports coming out of Baltimore that he was rushed and didn’t get into his routine before the kick. Pfft, whatevs dude, you choked. What a waste of energy from all that inspirational screaming Ray Lewis does before the game. The Ravens did everything else right which is why this must be so painful for their fans. They got a great game out of the offense, and the defense held the Patriots to their lowest point total since Week 9. Less impressively, the Ravens also had six penalties called against them compared to 0 the week before. The Patriots capitalized on those mistakes and the game was over.

Yes, the Pats did a decent job but they didn’t win the game, the Ravens lost it. Tom Brady didn’t throw a touchdown pass and nobody really stood out on the Patriots side. I guess that means it was a team effort but the game still left a bad taste in my mouth. Ravens fans are running out of quality time before most of the defence is moved into a Seniors Home so it hurts extra bad to end the season on a missed kick. Oh, I just found out that Ray Lewis will be back next year. Probably as the new kicker.

NFC Championship

Giants vs. 49ers

I guess Victor Cruz read my last article that outlined his general meh-ness from the week before, ’cause that guy was out of his damn mind! He had 10 receptions for 142 yards and the 49ers had no answer for him (no TD Salsa dance though, sorry ladies.) Eli Manning also gave good game by throwing for 316 yards and two touchdowns, and only one droopy hang-dog face after a miscue by Cruz.

The game itself lived up to the hype as both defenses were pretty hard to beat, and it seemed like each quarterback was sacked like 42 times. There were tons of forced fumbles including two by Kyle Williams that were both recovered by the Giants. (Have fun reporting to camp next year pal.) The 49ers didn’t trust their QB Alex Smith enough as he only threw 26 times and the team gained only five first downs with a pass. To put that in perspective, the Giants gained a first down 17 times with the pass. Smith didn’t have a bad game, he just only had Vernon Davis to throw to. Manning spread the ball around a lot more, getting eight people in on receptions.

The 49ers clearly had a tiny playbook that day, but they did take the Giants to overtime and were exciting to watch all year. Speaking of overtime… When is the NFL going to realize that the current system just ain’t right? You can’t have sudden death when each team gets a separate series of possessions. It’s just weird.

The Pro Bowl

The NFL All-Star game is this Sunday and I’m gonna watch like 4 minutes of it. I’ve never actually watched an entire Pro Bowl in my life because I don’t really understand how or why it exists. I get that the players bring their families to Hawaii and schmooze with all the Hall of Famers and all that, but how do you play actual football? You certainly can’t tackle the shit out of a guy, which then makes defensive players that are voted to the Pro Bowl kinda useless right? The NFL would like to award you for your fine defensive play with a trip to Hawaii and to play in the Pro Bowl, but you better not do your job and play defence or So Help Me God!

Being a football fan that loves his defence, the Pro Bowl just doesn’t do it for me and it’s kinda weird watching something so violent and awesome turn into nicey backyard football. I don’t think there should even be a game. Maybe just have a skills competition, or maybe a hotdog eating contest, or better yet, a who can get the most court appearances contest!

So, there we are. Be sure to tune in next week as I travel down the road that the Patriots and Giants took to get to Super Bowl XLVI for this epic rematch. I hope we pick up a one-eyed hitchhiker dressed as a robot pirate!

– Jay Haddow