So when it comes to rad women heroes, once again I Make Mine Marvel.

Case in point: Kathryn Immonen’s outstanding take on the Lady Sif in Journey into Mystery. A lot of people dropped the book after Kieron Gillen ended his much-beloved Loki run but those people are what the French call Les Incompetents. I tried to get into Gillen’s book because I really enjoyed Phonogram, but I just found I was forgetting what was happening from month to month and eventually dropped the title altogether.

On the other hand, I was excited about Immonen’s book (which began with issue no. 646) the second it was announced. I love Sif! She’s smart and brave and tough and all-round awesome. Also, good lookin’? Hel, I like Sif more than I like Thor, and that’s an awful lot. In fact, here she is now telling smarmy-ass Fandral what time it is.

Anyway, with Kathryn Immonen you can be sure you’re gonna get a great story. Her Wolverine and Jubilee mini-series with Phil Noto was a lot of fun (especially if you dig vampire Jubilee like I do) and she’s really made a name for herself as a great storyteller of gyno-centric(?!) stories since first appearing in 2007. So who better than Immonen to tell the story of Sif making the devil’s bargain and turning herself into a true Berserker? OH SHIT YEAH THAT’S WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT! Sif gets sick of always having to defend Asgard from its enemies and decides to get a little more proactive about the whole situation. The end result is uncontrollable red, white and black fury. Here she is giving her brother Heimdall a proper ass kickin’ for sassing her!

Well by now you’re probably having some sort of super-fit over the art, and rightly so. Valerio Schiti’s pencil work is anything but. See what I did there? Too obvious? Fine. But now is the time for you to bask in the art this extraordinary Italian created over the first five issues.

Follow him on Facebook and Twitter all you want! You won’t understand a damn word he’s saying, but you’re going to get your eyeballs filled with the GOOD STUFF. Same goes with Pepe Larraz from Spain. He’s just taken over the art duties with the newest issue and nobody minds. You know why? Because Larraz is the cat’s ass too! Also, the entire issue had Thor and Sif fighting a huge wolf in their pajamas which was gnarly.

I don’t know what kind of dirt Immonen has on the execs at Marvel, but she sure has found a way to make her awesome story look pretty. I for one will be stoked to hand over my $3.99 every month for the privilege of reading this book.

Also, if the Sif run is anything like the Gillen’s Loki run, it may only last a year so get on board with this business while you can. It’s only the best kept secret in the House of Ideas and I love, love, love the crap out of this little book. You will too.

In the meantime, put one in the air and be glad Nuv is back in prison!

– Ian

Oh my sweet Lord do I ever love Star Wars. In fact, my earliest memory is floating around MAD AS HELL in my mother’s womb on May 25th, 1977. I was furious! Punchin’ and kickin’ my ma and cursing my old man for not delivering the goods three months earlier so that my newborn ass could attend the premier of the GREATEST SPACE MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

I’ve had a love affair with Episode IV: A New Hope for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen it a million times and I’ll see it a million more before I die and disappear and become one with The Force and return to laugh at Nuv’s misshapen wiener from the other side. What I have never loved, however, are the comic books. I never liked ‘em. The old stories were goofy and the art, for the most part, was not good. And I’ve never given two craps about the Old Republic or any of the other satellite stories from the enormous Star Wars universe.

Where oh where was the comic for me? With Han and Chewie and Leia and Luke and Artoo and Threepio and of course Wedge? THAT’S the comic I want to read! Well all I had to do was wait until Dark Horse hired my hero Brian Wood to take the reins and write the best comic book of the year.

So what’s it about? Well for one thing, it’s set between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back. That’s basically the best time in the entire Star Wars saga to set a story. The Death Star is all blown up but things are far from cool. The Rebels are desperately searching for a new base of operations but there’s an Imperial mole in their ranks. Leia is all messed up because of what happened to Alderaan. Darth Vader is in serious shit with the Emperor and has been demoted off his Star Destroyer and replaced by a new upstart Admiral. Luke has literally been grounded by his sister for a little zero gravity hanky-panky with another pilot (surprisingly, a girl!) while on a training mission. Saucy!

So Mon Mothma puts Princess Leia in charge of forming a black ops X-Wing squadron (led by Wedge, because he’s a total bad-ass) to find a new planet base and weed out the rat. Oh, and what are Han and Chewie up to? Oh, just gallivanting around Coruscant with the Rebels cheddar, working on some deals and shooting punk Imperials in the back like couple of bosses. Anyone still up in arms about the whole Han-shooting-second-in-the-Mos-Eisley-cantina debacle will have their spirits lifted by Wood’s portrayal of Solo. To quote HOVA, he’s a hustler baby! And he’ll shoot a Stormtrooper right in his stupid face.

LET’S LOOK AT THE COVERS ON THE FIRST FOUR ISSUES!

You know who that is?! That’s Alex motherflippin’ Ross! Recognize! Alex Ross is awesome and I’d buy this book just for the covers he’s putting on ‘em. Boom! Pow! Here’s my money.

But the real kicker is what’s inside. As much as I might love the writer or the story that’s being written, I just can’t enjoy a comic book with bad art. Carlos D’Anda, thank goodness, has the skills to pay the bills. This book is illustrated way more beautifully than anyone (myself included) could have hoped for. For one thing, his character likenesses are excellent. Is there anything worse than a book set in an established universe where the characters don’t look like the actors who portrayed them? D’Anda is an excellent penciller and when you see some of his space battle splash pages you will flip right out.

How cool is that? Leia not only survives an X-Wing crash, she then goes and executes the Tie Fighter pilot who caused the wreck. Did you lose your everlovin’ mind?! I know I did! The first four issues of Wood and D’Anda’s Star Wars is a great read and if things keep up the way they are, this book could go down as one of my all-time favourites.

All I can say is Brian Wood was meant to write this book, Carlos D’Anda was meant to draw it, and I was meant to read it. So were you. That’s the way The Force works. *waves hand* You want to buy this book…you want to Force-choke Nuv…

You want to put one in the air!

– Ian

I had two hundred dollars in my wallet that were getting anxious. I had earned them at work the night before, when they were still shy and snugly ensconced between my credit cards and mistimed smiles, and not fidgety and restless like they were now.

Well, I hadn’t gambled all year. Maybe I’d get lucky.

The valet opened the door for me even though I didn’t have a car. I was inside the lobby of the casino. I walked along slowly.

The machines flashed and made horrible sounds. Faceless dealers doled out cruel justice from their comfortable chairs. People swarmed around the tables like insects, awaiting judgement for their indiscretions. The air was thick with the smell of failure. Or was it B.O.?

Wheels were spun. Things were thrown and gathered on tables with much intensity. I looked at all the sad faces around me. No one seemed to be enjoying themselves. Nothing like the giant smiling faces on the massive billboards outside that promised excitement. It looked more like work, like sitting in a cubicle, stressing over your decisions while a “pit” boss hovered over you.

I directed myself to the nearest Roulette table and contemplated putting all my money on black and having my trip paid for. There was no time to lose. Before I knew it, the dealer had exchanged my money for a stack of beautiful shiny chips. I was afraid to move. As the chips grew clammy in my palms, I thought about the nature of the cosmos. Fate. Destiny. The clock of the world. Luck.

I have never had any luck. I wouldn’t say I had bad luck, only that I was unlucky. There was a difference. When it came to gambling though – bad luck was my god. When my money was on the line, you can bet on me losing. It didn’t matter how the odds were stacked, I’d find a way to lose. When I entered the world of sports gambling, it was more of the same. Last-second buzzer-beaters, improbable comebacks, Hail Marys answered – all against me.

All the extensive research I did only made the losses more bewildering. If I bet on the favourites, the underdogs would win. And vice versa. If I bet against the spread, the team would cover. If I bet the over, it would be under. You don’t need to know what any of this means, only that I lost.

Is it magic or mysticism that bestows some people with the gift of luck? Who are these wizards and sorcerers that can conjure up millions in 649 jackpots and Lotto Maxes? What manner of voodoo are they practicing? If it’s true that anyone can win, then why can’t I? Never in my life have I ever won at bingo, raffles, 50/50s, meat draws, sweepstakes, giveaways, or any sort of game of chance. If luck is a lady, then for me she’s a filthy crack whore.

But I have since torn the veil from this mystery. There is no mystery. Either you have it or you don’t. Like talent. You can out-work your talent, but you cannot out-bet your bad luck. Don’t fool yourself into thinking these things are random. They are not. Luck is predetermined, preordained. Not believing it is a sure-fire way for gamblers to lose all their money.

During the height of my losses, I would sometimes bet blindly on games out of frustration, stubbornly daring the gods to make me lose again, even with a 50/50 chance, thinking there was no way I could be this unlucky, that the universe would balance itself eventually and I’d win at least once. I was wrong.

To compound my misery, oftentimes when I decided to opt out of a bet out of prudence, to exercise some discipline, even though my instincts told me it was a good bet, the final result would have ended in my favour. It was a further “fuck you” from the gods.

I was crossing the boundaries into degeneracy. It wasn’t yet March, but it was madness. I once had the strength of noble ambitions, now I was throwing money away on ridiculous chance. I had stared down Luck – and found her to be vile – and I reviled her. Finally, mercilessly, it all stopped. Basketball season was over. Even then, I thought about betting on baseball, only to come to my senses when I considered I’d have to follow some of the games. We all have our limits.

A year passed. I no longer felt the need to challenge my fate nor prove how unlucky I was. I hadn’t placed a single bet. I was an honourable man again. That is, until I was early for my bus one morning and set foot inside a casino.

I watched as the wheel spun round and round and that little white ball knocked around until it finally settled on a black number. All the chips were still clammy in my hand. Instead of cursing myself, I accepted that had I placed my money on black it would have come up red. I steadied myself against my weakness, cashed in my chips and moved on.

Once outside, I breathed a sigh of relief. I noted that the valets do not open the door for you on the way out. As I was walking back to my bus stop, an indigent man stopped me to ask for change. I said sorry and kept walking. The number 620 bus was waiting to take me to the Tsawwassen ferry terminal. As the bus pulled away from the depot and the giant smiling faces, I thought about the two hundred dollars in my wallet and wondered if Luck cared about whether or not people had a place to sleep, or just simply the outcome of meaningless games.

– Tom Day

HAWKEYE

• Writer: Matt Fraction
• Artist: David Aja
• Publisher: Marvel Comics
• Essential Reading: ALL OF IT

Hawkeye is gritty, but far from grim. In fact it’s laugh out loud funny thanks to the quick, clever scripts of Matt Fraction. That’s not to say it’s without teeth. The action sequences are thrilling (like me) and painful-looking (like Ian). Cast as kind of the hard luck, John McClane of The Avengers, the stories follow Clint ‘Hawkeye’ Barton on his off-time, where his mouth (and dick) often get him in more trouble than his quiver and shaft do in his day job. And you’ll feel every bump, bruise, broken bone and ball shot our underdog hero has inflicted on him along the way. Pfft. You should see the other guy. Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker…

Oh, and the excellence can’t/won’t/don’t stop with the main character! The supporting cast is just as interesting. An apartment building full of distinct neighbours that he finds himself falling into protecting. A hilarious mob of Russian bro-bros in tracksuits that have a vendetta against him. And girls! Girls, girls, girls!!

From his sassy protégé (as sharp with her bow and arrow as she is with an insult to Clint), to a number of exes (a few of them also super heroines, all of them ball busters), to a mysterious redhead troublemaker that sells him a beautiful muscle car and a FUCKLOAD of trouble. (Click the pic below to enlarge)

One of my favourite things about Hawkeye is the amazing visual comedy devices employed by Fraction & Aja. One that’s repeated through the series, where the word balloons of people speaking a language Clint doesn’t understand are filled with what his brain actually hears…

Another is from the issue with the redhead and the red car (titled ‘Cherry’ in reference to them both) where, after hitting the bullseye between Cherry’s legs, the tracksuited bros bust into Clint’s rooms with Uzis before he has a chance to throw some draws on his, um, “trick arrow.” So the art team gives a nod to Hawkeye’s old school look and covers his Lil Hawkeye for us in an amusing way…

There is never a dull moment, character, or situation, and for all those reasons, Hawkeye never misses the mark. #9 hits the stands today, so bro, before you get too far behind, throw on a tracksuit, head down to your local comic shop (or iPad, if you’ve gone digital) and tell Hawkeye to come at you, bro. Is best, bro.

GREEN ARROW

• Writer: Jeff Lemire
• Artist: Andrea Sorrentino
• Publisher: DC Comics
• Essential Reading: Issue #17 onward

Where Hawkeye built up a new cast around the archer, Green Arrow takes the exact opposite approach with the Justice League’s resident bow-and-arrow guy. This title is up to 19 issues now, but feel free to ignore the first 16. Upon taking over the book with #17, writer Jeff Lemire quickly pressed down on the detonator, blowing up his entire life/friends/company/fortune, basically his whole status quo, leaving him alone, framed for murder, on the run from both the law and new enemies he knows nothing of who know EVERYTHING about him, and the realization that EVERYTHING he knew about his past was wrong.

With nothing but a tiny supply of arrows, his wits, and his own personal gadget guy (think James Bond’s Q, or Microchip from Punisher), shit goes from cushy to hard as fuck in a hurry, and it makes for a thrilling read as Oliver goes from hunter to hunted.

The art by Andrea Sorrentino (very much in the vein of Jae Lee) is dark-as-sin and cool-as-fuck! The way he shows us how GA sees shit during battles, zeroing in on the details he’s focusing on (the enemy, his weapon, an escape route, whatever his targets at the time are) and framing them with a panel within the larger panel, and dropping out the colour or making it monotone, is an awesome device, and an innovative way to show GA’s quick thinking and archer’s eye.

Basically what I’m sayin’ is, this ain’t your pappy’s goateed, old man, arguing-politics-with-Hawkman-at-dinner type of Emerald Archer. A dash of Lost, a pinch of Daredevil: Born Again, Green Arrow breaks the character down and takes him back to square one, unveiling a whole new mythology for him, and giving us a perfect, unpredictable jumping on point. Meanwhile, I’d like to give that tiny-shafted garden gnome Ian a perfect jumping off point. Like a cliff. Or a plank…

On your marks, people. Aim your wallets at these two series now. You can’t miss.

Put one in the air.

– Nuv

Well here’s something new!

Last Thursday the Vancouver R2AK crew wandered down to The Biltmore Cabaret to see the greatest country/folk band in the entire American South (hence, world) SHOVELS & ROPE! Well, technically the show was headlined by a country and western Matchbox 20 cover band Lucero with special guests Shovels & Rope, but it was pretty clear from the word go that Cary Ann Hearst and Michael Trent were gonna upstage the headliners.

I’ve been a huge fan of these two since I went on iTunes looking for other bands with a similar sound to Band of Horses. And after sifting through some pretty dismal knock-offs I found a duo that I grew to love more than even the mighty BoH. Say it ain’t so! Oh, it’s SO! Anyway, a couple of months back I found out Hearst and Trent were coming off their own tour and heading across Canada to open for Lucero, so I bought tickets right away and then prayed they’d come despite the fact that they were playing Letterman and everywhere else in the meantime. The fact that they haven’t blown up like The Lumineers yet is astounding. All of their albums are great, but their new one O’ Be Joyful is perfect and I think it’s only a matter of time before they’ll be playing the big venues.

So what can I say about the show? I went in hoping they’d play a good long set with songs from all their albums, and that’s exactly what we got. I don’t know how long Lucero played for, but Shovels & Rope took the stage a half-hour early which was great because there were a lot of people in the house just to see them play. I found out later the show was completely sold out and there were even people outside in tears because they couldn’t get in!

I was surprised to see what truly great singers and musicians Hearst and Trent are. I mean, I always knew Hearst’s country growl was the star of the show, but Trent is a great singer in his own right and together they’re dynamite. Both play guitar, drums and keyboard and switch throughout their set but I had no idea Michael Trent played such a savage electric guitar. And Cary Ann Hearst is a much better drummer than any of the videos on YouTube show. Their albums are beautifully recorded, but live they’ve got a real sexy grind to their instruments and voices that you don’t get listening at home.

I don’t know why, but I find it absolutely endearing that Shovels & Rope didn’t have a set list and were deciding what to play on the fly. The whole show felt spontaneous and intimate, which is the best possible way to see a band like this (and may never happen again if my predictions are correct). Especially great were Birmingham – the hit! – O’ Be Joyful, Kemba’s Got the Cabbage Moth Blues and Hail Hail. Shank Hill Street, a dark little song about murder, was downright sinister under The Biltmore’s red lights. My favourites of the night, though, were two of their sweetest songs Lay Low and Magdalina because they really showcase Cary-Ann’s fantastic voice.

So that’s that! Other than minor complaints about the venue (seriously Biltmore, tell your hipster customers to shut their faces when the bands are on stage) this was a really perfect show. The only thing that made it better was when Venus got jacked on whiskey sour and street vendor hotdogs on the way home and destroyed a brick wall.

Country rock and roll y’all!

– Ian

What can I say about Guardians of the Galaxy #0.1 and #1? That I only bought them to see why everyone is so damned excited about some stupid raccoon? That I only bought them because I really like Steve McNiven’s art and sometimes like Brian Michael Bendis‘ writing? That I only bought them because I was bored?

The answer is all of the above!

To my huge surprise, the point-one issue of this comic actually turned out to be pretty damned sweet. First an alien crashes his ship in some hot hillbilly’s back yard and then she’s all “Git off my property ya varmint!” and the next thing you know she’s up the duff with his bastard child. Well that’s what you get for boning interstellar royalty without a jimmy hat.

Anyway, Emperor Jason, the King of Spartax (Who came up with this stuff?) buggers off on some “Oh, I’m just going to the galactic corner store for some smokes.” tip and never returns, leaving her to raise her kid on her own (ain’t that always the way?) But I guess she did something right because Lil’ Petey ends up being pretty awesome, especially after he grabs a shotty and goes all BLAOW BLAOW! on some alien chumps before finding deadbeat Dad’s heater in the closet. And that’s how the story begins, with Issue #0.1 which isn’t half as awful as most of Marvel’s #0.1 comics.

Despite the humiliating superhero name Star-Lord – seriously what the frig Steve Englehart, what the FRIG? – Peter Quill is actually pretty badass. As are his team of Guardians, the green fox Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, the tree-like alien Groot and the aforementioned Rocket Raccoon. Also, unnecessarily, Iron Man. As new readers we don’t know any of their back-stories yet, but you don’t need to know them to know that Groot and Rocket Raccoon are pure gold in every scene they’re in together. Seriously fun.

So there you have it! A space cops book that doesn’t suck! And you know why else you should pick up this comic? Marvel is releasing a Guardians of the Galaxy movie next year, which is pretty much destined to be their first huge flop and might even send the whole superhero film industry into a tailspin. I’ll buy Nuv lunch if I’m wrong. Regardless, these comics were pretty fun and a very nice surprise on a day where I probably would have bought an issue of My Little Pony to avoid going home with only three books.

Just kidding. The current My Little Pony craze is creepy and weird. Like, Crossed-level creepy and weird.

Put one in the air! I’ve been mainlining Red Bull again!

– Ian

Awww, who am I kidding? This is a book for people who love Frank Cho and all the marvellous goodness that comes with a book written and drawn by Frank Cho! First off, it’s a book set in the Savage Land that features Wolverine and Shanna the She-Devil. That means dinosaurs, violence, dinosaurs and Shanna and her questionable (but I’ll allow it) attire. Also… DINOSAURS!

The set-up: First Shanna and her S.H.I.E.L.D. team crash land on the Savage Land, and then Wolverine mysteriously falls from the sky eight months later to find Shanna the only survivor. After that it’s pretty much stabby stab on anything that tries to attack the unlikely team as they try to figure out why they’re being held prisoner and work on their grand escape.

Frank Cho, in case you haven’t guessed, is one of those artists that I will literally buy anything he draws. I love his pin-up style and he’s very traditional insofar as his men all have big muscles and his ladies all have curves to beat the band, but like most of his fans I’ve always maintained that Cho’s art is far from exploitative. There’s an adorable cheesecake quality similar to how burlesque performers are on a much more wholesome level than strippers. Not that there’s anything wrong with strippers, of course! Well, maybe the male strippers Nuv’s keeps wasting the sites revenue on…

Okay, enough talk about strippers already!

The best thing about Frank Cho, in my opinion, is that he’s actually a very good comic book writer as well. A lot of times you won’t get a great story out of a great artist (cough J.H. Williams III, cough) but with Cho’s background in comic strip work – Liberty Meadows represent! – the man is as entertaining on the words as he is talented with the pencils. His timing is perfect and every issue flies by despite the fact that there’s always a great, meaty story to dig into. It’s no surprise then that, three issues in, Savage Wolverine continues bringing the laughs and the surprise twists. Wolverine is always his grumpy self and even though Shanna is easy to underestimate visually, Cho makes it clear that she’s every bit as cunning, brave and tough as Logan. And definitely a lot funnier! Put together, they’re a really dynamic team.

So there you go, another awesome comic book for you to check out! As part of the Marvel NOW! initiative, most comic stores probably ordered a ton of these books. So if you’re the type who likes the physical copy (like me) rather than the digital copy (like stupid, stupid Nuv), then you should still be able to grab the first couple of back issues at your local comic book shop. Or you can wait until the end of the story arc and pick up the trade. Either way, treat yourself sucka!

Put one in the air!

– Ian

Toward the middle of last year everyone was sick of reading Brian Michael Bendis being on the Avengers books. He’d been writing most of the flagship titles for about fifty or sixty years and some folks, myself included, started to see things as a little stale. I dropped regular Avengers and New Avengers (just in time for the movie) because I was bored with the stories and sick of the rotating artists.

So what did Marvel do at the start of the year?

They give Bendis all the important X-Men books. What the fudge? Well, like I said, I wasn’t gonna read Uncanny because I was already reading All-New X-Men and anyway I can’t stand Cyclops. But then I was having a slow comics week and there’s the fact that I love Chris Bachalo’s art (especially the way he draws Emma Frost) so I thought “What the hell. I’ll toss four bucks at the first issue and see what’s what.” Well I sure am glad I did.

The basic story is that Cyclops, Emma Frost, Magneto and Magik are now mutant revolutionaries wanted by the Avengers for the part they played in the Phoenix Force / death of Charles Xavier. They’re searching all over the world to find and recruit new mutants to their cause. Oh, and they’re each dealing with the fact that their powers are seriously unstable since the Phoenix left them.

Hear my words! Three issues in, Uncanny X-Men is awesome.

There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Brian Michael Bendis (or Bri as he told me to call him, but not really). Everyone who knows me knows I’d let Nuv take a bullet for my epic Daredevil run Bendis did with Alex Maleev. And sure, I got pretty sick of the Avengers books he was writing – although not that first arc of New Avengers Vol. 2, that shit was gold – but he’s always been a great writer for those looking to jump back on a title. So here I am, jumping back on not one, but TWO X-Men books a month. And so far they’re a lot of fun to read.

Bachalo is great as always. I absolutely love his pencils and colours, and when Tim Townsend is on the inks, the whole book just looks fantastic. Uncanny is (obviously) an ensemble book, so most pages feature a whole host of characters that need to be drawn. Even still, Bachalo never seems to skimp on the backgrounds and the issue never looks rushed.

To the contrary, he consistently makes use of clever frames and borders, situating his panels on a variety of different angles. And while many artists under-the-gun would tend to draw their characters looking mostly head-on or side profile, Bachalo perpetually frames his subjects from different angles and very carefully drawn facial expressions. In other words, Chris Bachalo is the last guy to turn in the bare minimum. Beautiful stuff.

So that’s that! Uncanny X-Men, at least for now, is a rad book and will definitely be staying on my pull list until either Bendis gets boring and/or Bachalo leaves. Either way, as it was with New Avengers, so shall it be with Uncanny X-Men. A great first arc well worth picking up.

– Ian

Thanks to a crash tutorial by a co-worker of mine, I know the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (TV show) basics. (There is also the comic book version. You can ask Ian to rant about it. Heh.) The main character Twilight Sparkle, her mentor Princess Celestia who rules the kingdom of Equestria…. Um, yeah. The tutorial also included a rundown of the other main players and their modus operandi. Thus, I was able to point out to my trusty comic-con sidekick that these ladies/girls were, in fact, dressed as their favourite My Little Ponies Character. Pinkie Pie was the clear favourite, followed by the moderately popular Rainbow Dash. The odd Rarity (Eh? Eh?), Applejack and Twilight Sparkle could be spotted (no Fluttershy’s that I saw) but Pinkie Pie was the number one choice for female cosplay character this year.

A number of ladies took on the USO girl’s costume from Captain America. Lovely, versatile and works on pretty much any lady. We dig.

A large number of con-attendees were dressed in some version of Adventure Time’s Finn the Human, but I’m not counting that as cosplay as it only involves putting on a stupid hat and a blue shirt. No photos either because, like I said, it doesn’t really count.

Another popular choice was to don a grey face and candy corn coloured horns or triangle glasses. This is apparently Homestuck cosplay. No picture, don’t care. But it happened.

Next up are the Doctor Who cosplays. Variations on the iconic 11th Doctor’s tweed jacket and red bowtie, along side many a blue TARDIS dresses (or the actual box, in one case) and sometimes a Dalek or two. I find this choice to be played out already as it seems that anyone can slap together a Doctor (and whichever companion) outfit. The TARDIS (TARDI? TARDISes?) and Dalek cosplay is much more involved but it’s been done to death. Power to you, Whovians, but it’s a paltry ‘meh’ on the impress-a-nerd-omometer. (No photos of this either because I could give a shit.)

Tony Stark (as Tony Stark, not Iron Man) was probably the number one male cosplay, which is awesome, but kind of lazy, which might just circle back to awesome. Goatee, sunglasses, swagger, arc reactor and some nice threads are all it takes. I want to hate it but I kinda dig it. My favourite was this tiny woman doing a Tony Stark Crossplay. Which takes me to my next point.

Crossplay! I like me some crossplay. Crossplay is the term for when you dress up as a character of the opposite sex. Like the dude who dressed up as Leeloo from 5th Element. (I would have snapped a pic but didn’t want to break my camera.) The most popular choice for female-to-male crossplay was Loki from the Thor film. More than just a few, and they all looked rad. Good on ya, ladies. There was less male-to-female crossplay and the only two I witnessed were Leeloo and Slave Leia.

Assassins! There were assassins abound this year. All different reincarnations of assassins from the entire Assassin’s Creed video game series were represented. Recruits of the Assassin Brotherhood were found throughout the crowd. I took care to point them out quietly to Ian, as they were probably on stealth missions and using the throng to blend in and hide from the Templars. “The Lord is my shepherd! The Lord is my shepherd!”

That covers the popular cosplay trends of ECCC 2013. There was, of course, the usual smattering of cosplay from DC and Marvel but not as prominently as in previous years. Give it another blockbuster movie, it’ll come back. Star Wars and Star Trek were fairly represented. And we did see a Darth Maul on steampunk stilts, playing the Star Wars theme song on bagpipes, so… there was that….

Lastly, I’d like to shine a light on my personal favourite when it comes to cosplay at comic-con. It has become a mini-goal of mine to find and compliment people on their obscure, but very well done, cosplay choices. Melaka Fray from Joss Whedon ’s Buffyverse was my personal favourite, though she was rushing away and I missed getting her photo. (Dang). I’m looking forward to what’s in store next year. ECCC 2014! Bring on the nerdiness!

– Venus

CHECK OUT IAN EXPLOSIVO’S EMERALD CITY EXPERIENCE HERE!

Speaking of which, one of the places I went was to the Emerald City Comicon 2013 last weekend! You guys, let me just say that the con was twice the size it was last year – twice as much space and twice as many people – and I’m not gonna elaborate on the crimes against humanity that were committed to ensure I had my way with writers and artists alike. But boy, did I ever! The three-day weekend was an outrageous success, and a big part of that was thanks to my brain. Not only did I roll into this year with a super-relaxed attitude, but I even came up with the greatest commission theme of all time. So check it out! This year’s full report and braggadocio!

Greatest Commission Theme of ALL TIME

I’m not usually a commission kinda guy. I tend to wander around the con in a stupor, collecting signatures on my comics and picking up prints here and there. But this year George Lucas really chapped my ass. Remember back in December when it was reported there were supposed to be female pilots in the original Star Wars trilogy, but Lucas inexplicably cut all their scenes? “Well poop to that!” I says to myself and set out to bribe some of my favourite creators to draw me an all-girl X-Wing squadron. And the icing on the cake? Writer Kelly-Sue DeConnick (who was already one of my favourite people ever) came up with a list of names for them all. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Best Quotes Overheard

“I don’t care if it’s CG! If it’s got flying monkeys, man, I’m there!”

“Christopher Reeve is dead! GET OVER IT!”

[A fan, after staff wheeled out some garbage and recycling bins.] “And compost too! So you can take a dump in it!”

[An unimpressed artist when woman asked if she could add her two bratty kids to his commission list.] “I suppose they count as people…”

“Holy shit! That’s the hottest Rainbow Brite I’ve ever seen!”

Nicest Guy in the World

You know it’s Scott Snyder! I got to meet Scott on Sunday and he was so nice to everyone, busting out his phone and showing everyone preview covers and pages from the upcoming (but currently-on-hiatus) American Vampire. Of course I jabbered on and on about how much I love American Vampire and Batman and he was just so gracious and stoked to meet his fans. Like Greg Capullo the year before, he was up out of his seat and shaking everyone’s hands all weekend. Just a stand-up guy! Also, as always, Matt Fraction and Brian Wood were a pair of rad dudes.

Biggest Jackass

Don’t get me wrong, this convention was perfect, but you know there’s always gotta be one dink. Without further ado, this year’s biggest jackass is…Michael Golden! Who? Exactly. I wanted to get Mr. Golden to sign a Daredevil book that he did a pin-up in but he was such a jerk that I didn’t even bother. And the whole time his lady-friend at the table was apologizing and apologizing to the people in line. The next day he was sitting at his table ignoring his fans and making snarky-ass comments to everyone (myself included) waiting for Scott Snyder. Just go back to drawing The ‘Nam or Micronauts or whatever you crusty old has-been.

Best Awkward Moment

You might think it would by my continuing inability to string words together in front of Jaime Rich and Joelle Jones, but no. There was a WAY WORSE scene than that. While Venus and I were waiting in line the first day (over three hours yo!) there was a couple beside us that kept hugging in the most horrifically awkward way ever. Like, as if they were soul mates who were breaking up and since that hug was going to be their last, they were going to make it last. FOR HOURS. We’re talking heads buried in shoulders, high school dance melodrama at its finest. Just thinking about it gives me THE GODDAMN SHIVERS. Hugging people, if you’re reading this, BRAVO!

Favourite Commission

Speaking of Joelle Jones, after a week of living with these fantastic, amazing pieces I got from my favourite artists, I’d have to say that Joelle Jones’ is my most favourite and here’s why: I love her clean, bold ink lines. I love the small wrinkles in the baggy uniform (probably a man’s uniform!), the scratches on her helmet and her cool ass toggles. But most of all I love her face. Joelle Jones has the extraordinary ability to draw women who are both lovely and strong and even if this commission wasn’t mine, if I had just come across it on the internet, it would still be my favourite thing she’s drawn to date. Lucky for me it is mine and I get to keep it.

Best Battle of the Wills

Maaaaan did Bruce Timm ever not want to draw my X-Wing pilot for me. Like, seriously. All weekend long the only thing I saw him draw was Catwoman and Harley Quinn (they could have been photocopies) and maybe that’s all he wanted to do. But I dug right in and he agreed, but not without a final “It’s a good job you came back for it. Nobody else would have bought it.” He did thank me for the challenge though! Oh, Bruce Timm, you’re a little sour, but I love ya anyway.

Fastest Artist

To watch Katie Cook work is to watch magic happen. How she can produce such amazing little pictures, one after the other, and for only FIVE BUCKS EACH?! I’ll never know. Venus and I love Katie to bits, and not just because she’s drawn a bunch of stuff for us over the years. We rushed over to her table at the start of the first day and if nothing else worked out commission-wise for the rest of the weekend, I’d have still gone home stoked. How cute are these?!

Best Time Management

Billy Fowler is amazing. Last year I bought a Nightcrawler print he did, and it was hands-down my favourite print of the show (quite possibly ever). So this year I really wanted to get a commission from him. But listen, when Billy says it’ll be done at the end of the weekend, he’s not kidding around. The organizers of the con were making the announcement for everyone to get out and go home while he was putting the finishing touches on the colours. Whew!

Best Suggestion / Proof that Billy Fowler KNOWS ALL

When I told Billy Fowler about my commission theme, he told me that I had to go check out Victoria Ying before the con ended. I’d never heard of her, but he assured me she’d be perfect for my project. Well guess what? Once again Billy Fowler knows what he’s talking about. Victoria Ying does some incredible work with watercolours, and even though I went to see her at the very end of the convention, she was happy to fit me in. Check it out!

Best Surprise Encounter

I have a little Supergirl print by Dean Trippe that I absolutely love. As in, it’s one of my favourite pieces of comic book art I own. Anyway, I was spacing out and wandering around the con on Sunday looking at everyone’s displays when I rounded the corner and saw Dean Trippe’s table. HOW DID I NOT EVEN KNOW HE WAS A GUEST?! Well I put him on the spot and begged him to be a part of my X-Wing pilot project and even though he was worried he wouldn’t be able to pull it off (oh my god as if!), in the end we both agreed he absolutely KILLED IT. Dean Trippe, you are THE BEST EVER.

Best Hurry Up, This Article is Getting Way Too Long!

Other amazing commissions and the good folks who drew them! ! Jim Mahfood is just the friendliest guy and I love, love, LOVE this piece. I’ve been wanting to get something by him for a long time now and he absolutely destroyed it like I knew he would! Wow!

Chris Sheridan (of Powder Keg Comics fame) drew me the only X-Wing pilot that looks somewhat alien! Also, she’s rocking a Han Solo blaster so you can run tell DAT. ALSO he hooked me up with one of his ECCC 2013 prints for free. So nice!

I think poor Skottie Young was BAGGED by the time he got around to my commission, but he still did a swell job and Billy Martinez took a break from his 1000-women project and drew me a red uniformed, flippy-haired pilot that I just adore. Everyone I work with wears orange vests, but I wear red because I rule. So this one has a special place in my heart.

And that’s a wrap! But didn’t anything happen other than your commissions, you braggart? Yes! But you can read about that on other sites that are not as good as this one. To be honest, there’s just SO MUCH going on that it’s difficult to get your bearings and take it all in. Heroes everywhere, people rushing from celebrity photoshoot to see the real-life astronaut. Saucy cosplay and tragic cosplay! The ginger hurricane Kelly-Sue DeConnick! There’s a million things going on! There’s no way you could do everything you want (we only made it to one panel out of the five-or-six we were interested in attending) so you have to pick your battles and live with your choices. For me, this year was all about coming home with a folder full of awesome art and thanks to the wonderful writers and artists who attended the show, I was able to do just that.

Can’t wait for next year!

– Ian

CHECK OUT VENUS’ COMICON FASHION EXTRAVAGANZA HERE!

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