Batgirl – Stephanie Brown was a great Batgirl and rocked the black and purple for too short a time (24 issues). Lucky for us the cosplayers think so too!

Batwoman – In a sea of unoriginality (Venus counted twenty-two Poison Ivys and over ten Harley Quinns) there are always a handful of original costumes. This Batwoman was one of our favourites for sure.

The Court of Owls – Easily the most eerie costumes of the con. Fear the court!

Harley Quinn, Scarecrow and Catwoman – Win! Win! Win!

Hawkman – Character fail, costume win! Sure Hawkman sucks, but check out those awesome wings!

Lady Blackhawk – In every crowd picture there’s an Asian saying everything with their eyes. LOL! Seriously though, this one is definitely in the running for best con costume. Fan-tas-tic.

Poison Ivy & Two-Face – I’m gonna write some x-rated fan fiction about these two! It’s gonna be a new feature in the comics section of R2AK! Look for it in May!

The Riddler - Nailed it!

The Rocketeer – Girl Rocketeers are my most favourite thing ever. Considering I’d give my left nut for that jacket and helmet, this one is really well done!

Rogue & Punisher – There are no shortage of crappy Punishers (and Deadpools) at comic conventions, but this guy put a lot of work into his costume. And that old-school Rogue is fantastic too. Nice!

Wonder Woman – Ame-Comi (by Udon Studios) make the best manga-fied heroine statuettes and the fact that this woman made an Ame-Comi Wonder Woman costume endears her to our hearts.

Zatanna – Cute and awesome, a con without a Zatanna is like a day without sunshine. Or like a Nuv article without spelling and grammatical errors. Go fishnets!

THE. END. (Whew.) Y’all get home safe now, y’hear?

– The Explosivos

Saturday: Day 2

After all of the solid ground work laid on Friday, day two of the heist is very simple. Start early and stay cool. Saturday is the busiest day of the con. This means you will have to get an early start to optimize your time spent on the con floor. If you were unable to get on a commission list on Friday, or need to endure an exceptionally long line, this early start will be your second chance. Most jokers (cosplay and layman alike) will only show up for the one day. People will quickly and steadily trickle in and by lunch time you will be doing the slow, annoying, unproductive herd shuffle with everyone else. When moving through the Saturday crowd becomes a futile attempt, grab some grub and regroup.

The afternoon is when the floor is at its busiest. It is also when the most interesting panels are being held. Pick a few to sit in on and enjoy learning more about your favourite comic creators, writers and artists all while luxuriating in your own, non-sweaty personal space. Towards the end of the day, the convention floor will be thinned out considerably and if you have any easy loose ends you can tie ‘em up now, before leaving for the day.

Best Panel: Tim Sale

VENUS: It’s always nice to see Tim Sale at a panel. During the convention, Tim endures hour after hour at his table drawing and signing for fans, which means minimal time for chit chat or fielding questions. (Although he will graciously accept any gifts fans may have for him.) At his Saturday spotlight panel Tim took the time to speak directly with his fans. A lot of people asked questions or made comments that I hadn’t thought of which made it all the more interesting! For those of you wondering, the Mariners super-fan does indeed have stuff on-deck and in the bullpen. Captain America: White will be completed (another two issues have recently been turned in), as well as creator-owned, noir-style projects are what we’ll be seeing from him in the future. He voiced a weariness of the superhero genre (save the World’s Greatest Detective) and a preference for ‘girls in the rain’ when asked about the commissions he likes doing best.

IAN: Yeah, Tim’s table is always a first-stop as soon as the convention doors open. Mostly because we love the guy and consider him a friend, but also because if you want your name on the very small fast-pass commission list, you pretty much have to commit crimes against humanity to get to his table first. Luckily Venus is the Katniss of ECCC, so it’s rarely a problem. Timely Hunger Games reference, you guys!

Anyway, see the rad-ass Catwoman: When in Rome pillow he’s holding in the picture above? Venus knitted that just for him! Check this out if you want to see the process!

Best Print Bought by Ian: Billy Fowler – Nightcrawler

IAN: A big part of my con experience is wandering around looking at everyone’s prints and buying the ones that really jump out. It doesn’t really matter whether the artist is a big name or not, only that the art rules. Of all the pieces I picked up last year, the hands-down winner was Nathan Fox’s Kitty Pryde…

This year that title was taken by Billy Fowler’s Nightcrawler. Man, I saw this print from across the convention floor and trampled at least four children and an old lady to buy it. In my defence, somebody probably would have trampled those children (and the old lady) anyway.

Behold! And then avert your eyes and die thou of jealousy!

Best Print Bought by Venus: Phil Noto – Daenerys Targaryen

VENUS: If you are not watching Game of Thrones you are not worthy. Daenerys Targaryen is the last of the Targaryen lineage and the Dragon’s Daughter. I can’t say anymore without it being a spoiler so justwatchthedamnshoworreadthebooksalready. Phil Noto also wins for Best Likenesses.

IAN: Phil Noto also wins for being a super nice guy. We wandered over to his table a couple of times over the course of the weekend and he maintained a real friendliness all three days despite being consistently swamped with people. Note to self, though. If you want one of his prints, be sure not to “think about it” and “come back later.” YOU WILL BE SORRY!

Best Shredder: This guy.

VENUS: AKA The Fattest Shredder AKA The Only Shredder at ECCC.

IAN: I just…I don’t…I mean what the…and why?

Most Authentic Cosplay: Power Girl

IAN: More proof that I married the right woman. I didn’t even see this Power Girl until Venus grabbed me and yelled “LOOK! LOOK!” and look I did. Ha ha by gosh did I ever.

VENUS: You mean, Most “Authentic” Cosplay. With quotation marks. As in “those are not real.”

IAN: They’re NOT?!

Nerdiest Moment: The Cat Farris Portal Print Incident

VENUS: It’s the girl from Portal, sitting on a companion cube, eating the cake, which was NOT a lie. OMG NERD SQUEEEE. P.S. There were 2 girls in Portal cosplay at ECCC this year, complete with portal gun.

IAN: Yeah, you went nuts when you saw this print! I didn’t even know the amazing Cat Farris was attending this year.

Best Lunch Date: Jason Copland

IAN: Of all the things that we might-or-might-not do during ECCC, going for lunch with Jason Copland is an absolute must. Good laughs, good burgers, and for an hour or so Venus and I get a break from the crowds (and our wallets get a break from being emptied). With new projects in the works for Image and [REDACTED BY TIPPER GORE] our pal Jason is going places in this industry and we couldn’t be more stoked to ride his coattails all the way to greatness.

VENUS: Going for burgers with Jason! Talking con and getting some inside gossip! Piercing blue eyes! French fries!

Stay tuned for our third and final instalment of the Emerald City Comic-Con coverage! And then A BITCHIN’ PHOTO, PRINT, AND COMMISSION GALLERY TO FOLLOW!

– The Explosivos

Friday: Day 1

2012 was a great year for commissions. You never know for certain going into a Comic-con, that’s why you need a game plan. Here, we will give you the run-down of an efficient, effective, 3-day heist at Emerald City.

Friday: Day One

Don’t kid yourself, you need this extra day. In 2011, the Emerald City Comic Convention (ECCC) added on an extra day to better handle the growing crowds. Most con-goers only attend on Saturday which makes them suckers. They are under extreme pressure, limited time and at the mercy of the masses to get whatever it is they want to get done.

The first day of the con is where almost all of the heavy lifting gets done. It’s the time to case the joint and lay the groundwork for the rest of the weekend. Once you have your map of the con floor in hand, along with the list of guests in attendance, you can start to prioritize.

If you favour collecting commissions from artists, today is the day to see all of them. Most attendees have one or two big names on their list so those big names will be the people to see first. Their commission lists fill up within the first 5 minutes of the day so it’s best to make haste to their table. You can swing by your lesser known favourites later to get on their lists. If you don’t make it onto a list the first day, most artists take names at the start of each day so you still have 2 days left to make it happen.

Once you are on a few lists, you can take the time to decide who else you’d like to see and what else you’d like to do while you eagerly await for those soon-to-be-had commission pieces. You know who to see later and if you’ve got some comics that need signing then you have time to get into some lines.

It’s the same deal if your poison is collecting signatures from the big names. The big names almost always have big lines, are not always at their tables and have engagements other than signing all day. They speak on panels, they go for lunch, they nurse hangovers, they hang around with other big names. The sooner you get into that line, the sooner you get out.

It’s actually surprising how much you will get done your first day, and this will be of great comfort come the maelstrom known as Saturday…

More on how to thrive at ECCC in the next two articles. And now, THE AWARDS!

Best Man-Crush: Ian and Brian Wood

IAN: For years there have been two creators I’ve always wanted to meet. One is Darwyn Cooke (which will never happen because he doesn’t exist) and the other is Brian Wood. If you’ve been reading my critically acclaimed articles for the past couple of years, you know that I pine for anything new to come out of Wood’s brain. From Demo to Local to DMZ to Northlanders, I’ve bought it all and I’ve loved it all. And now I’m all about The Massive and Conan: Queen of the Black Coast, his two new books that I love more than I could ever love a human child.

Meeting Brian Wood on Friday was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done at a con. For one thing, there’s always the chance the person you’re going to see will be a complete jack-ass. You know, the whole “you should never meet your heroes” thing. The other concern being that I tend to get all flustered and jabber on like an idiot when talking to someone whose work I really respect (various strippers). Brian Wood, though, is one cool cat. He was happy to stand and talk to anyone who came by and I had a really nice conversation with him about how sad I was that Northlanders is ending. I actually told him I could cry when I think about how the next issue will be the last. “Buck up, my new best friend,” said Wood, but not really. What he really said was that after the first Conan arc, he’s pretty much going to do whatever he wants with the book. NICE! And he also assured me that he’s putting everything he’s got into his creator-owned series The Massive. I would expect nothing less! Brian Wood, I salute you!

Best Girl-Crush: Venus and Gail Simone

VENUS: I. Heart. Gail Simone. The first time I met her was at ECCC 2008. I got to see her again this year and it kicked ass. She is a sweetheart, she’s smart and she is very passionate about her work. During her ECCC Spotlight panel she divulged that when she was writing for Wonder Woman, it took her eight months of preparation before she wrote a single thing . Eight months because she wanted to get it right, she wanted to do it well and she didn’t want to let the fans down. She also loves to take a lesser known character (like all of the Secret Six) and make it her own. She’s funny as hell, she likes to see what she can get away with and she doesn’t like to be made to kill off characters (like Knockout). I saw her several times over the weekend and she was warm and inviting every time. Gail Simone is a champ in the world of comic book writers and if you get the chance you should definitely go talk to her, or just listen to her talk.

Nicest Dude at the Con: Greg Capullo

IAN: Seriously, he’s so nice he GAVE AWAY the kick-your-dick-off Scarecrow print below to the first 200 people to hit his table. Good thing I was one of ‘em…

…too bad that SCUMBAG Nuv has my ENTIRE Brian Wood collection hostage! (You win this round, asshat, but if you harm ONE PANEL of those comics I will give you a death-enema with a rake!) Ahem, back to somebody that isn’t pure douche…

If you’re not following Greg Capullo on Twitter, you should. He’s the nicest and most humble guy around. Seriously, the guy is like my buddies at work. Laid-back, good natured, foul-mouthed and awesome. And you know what? That’s exactly how he is in real life too. Despite having huge lines all three days, Capullo got up out of his chair and shook hands with every person who came up to his table, asking them their names, asking them if they were having a good time at the show, and generally palling around with everybody. He’s one of the biggest and most celebrated creators in the comics industry, but you’d never know it from talking to the guy. I told him that I’d never been a committed Batman fan until I started reading his book and he asked me what I normally read. When I told him I’d been a Marvel fan for most of my life he said he was the same, and that he never expected he’d be drawing a Batman book. That kind of personal one-on-one, even if it lasts less than a minute, is the reason fans go to conventions and come home excited about comics. You know, there was a really great feel to the convention this year, and it’s a great roster of people like Greg Capullo and Gail Simone that made that happen.

Most Improved Couple: Terry and Rachel Dodson

VENUS: We met the Dodson’s last year and it was a bit anticlimactic, to our surprise. They seemed grumpy in general and unimpressed by the fact that they were at the convention. Comments were barely acknowledged and any exchanges were very short. This year they surprised us again! Both Terry and Rachel were sunny and smiley, friendly (if a little worn out from the busy weekend) and appreciative of their fans. We ended up stopping by their table a few times and even got a quick picture of the two. Whatever was going wrong last year for the Dodson’s? Gone and good riddance!

IAN: Yeah, it just goes to show that you can’t judge people based on a minute-or-two of knowing them. Who knew? The important thing is that we got two different limited-edition prints from the Dodsons, who are now our friends for life. Also, if everyone had as many freckles on their arms as Rachel has, the world would be a much better place.

Best Driver: Ian

VENUS: AKA the only driver. He laughed, he cried, he fell asleep at the wheel and gave a great air guitar solo. All while doing 120km/h in the trusty Tercedes and on the I-5. The best part? We got there in one piece.

IAN: Actually the best part is that I was driving away from NUV.

Stay tuned for more of our ECCC 2012 coverage!

– The Explosivos

Are you ready?

After a gruesome little bump in the road (the never-to-be-mentioned again OMAC crossover issue) Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. came roaring back with issue no. 6. I’m really glad I didn’t let that last issue sour me on this book because the new arc has started off fantastically. Here’s hoping DC doesn’t cancel the title and pander to people like Nuv who have no respect for great comics. Or fashion.

Or bestiality laws.

This just in! The award for Most Beautiful (Despite Being Ultra-Boring to Read) Comic goes to… WHAT? A TIE?! That’s right! Our readers voted to break the trophy in two and give half to The Flash and half to Batwoman. Francis Manapul and J.H. Williams III keep rockin’ it! But Francis Manapul and J.H. Williams III, maybe you guys should hand the writing reins to actual writers like Johns and Rucka respectively?

Fr-ick!

A couple of weeks ago I finally got the first issues of Brian Wood’s The Massive and Conan: Queen of the Black Coast in my grubby little hands and guess what? Even though I’ve been stoked about these books for MONTHS leading up to their release, I still haven’t read either one. Remember at the end of Fanboys, when they’re all in the theatre to see The Phantom Menace and Eric says “What if the movie sucks?” It’s kinda like that. Expect a full review soon though!

UPDATE / PREVIEW: THEY BOTH RULE!!!

Nuv: Okay, hold the fuckin’ phone Warwick! I was gonna stay out of your misinformed mess of an article, but enough is enough. You have the nerve to call The Flash BORING, and you like the comic that sits NEXT to that word in the dictionary?! DOUBLE-NOPE!! Fuck outta the way, while I tell ‘em what’s really what.

People, people. Ignore this dick-kabob. ‘The Massive,’ despite what its title would have you believe, is not about my penis. It is not going to wow you the first time you lay eyes on it, nor has it been previously enjoyed by your girlfriend. No, I’m afraid it’s more like Ian’s wee wee-wee, and as such, any of the following would be more apt titles: The Miniscule; The Mediocre-at-best; The Miscoloured. Oh, and just like with Ian’s peen, it ends quickly and doesn’t get the job done. Meanwhile, in Batwoman and The Flash, you have drop dead GORGEOUS artwork and some of the most innovative layouts and panel-to-panel storytelling in comics. AND in The Flash, you also get surprisingly sharp stories that move at a breakneck speed (appropriate, considering the protagonist) and all from a first-time artist/writer. There’s so much going on, on every page with both art and story, and it never once gets confusing. It does beg to be looked at with long (and longing) stares repeatedly. See for yourself! (Click to enlarge)

LOOKATTHATSHIT!! Maybe they should call THIS comic The Nuv-Dick! And maybe you should call it quits, Bushwick. (Huh. Two midget references, two names ending in ‘Wick.’ I wonder if it’s a suffix given only to the most important of midgets.) You clearly have lost what little bit of grey matter you and the Gallaghers didn’t emo right outta there.

Ian: WHOA WHOA WHOA! Everyone is all up in Brubaker’s business all “Incognito! Fatale! We want more crime comics!” but most people don’t realize that Mike Mignola is killing it too with his new Lobster Johnson mini-series The Burning Hand! The writing is fun and Johnson’s dialogue is the very essence of pulp fiction. Nuv, on the other hand, is the very essence of dumpster hobo. And I don’t know where artist Tonci Zonjic came from, but his super-fresh art style has found a home in my heart for sure. I can only hope one day Nuv finds a home on the Missing Persons cork board at the Post Office.

Well, after six months of waffling, I’ve finally decided to add I, Vampire to my pull list. Every month I pick it off the shelf, flip through the pages and then carry it to the till. Every month! But Andrea Sorrentino has consistently turned in beautiful art for the last six months, so I’m officially on board for as long as he is. Also, there are guest cameos by John Constantine and Batman which is both a) a shameless gimmick by DC to get superhero readers to pick it up and b) forgivable because Joshua Hale Fialkov is a good writer and makes it work.

Did you see the first couple of episodes of Kevin Smith’s reality show Comic Book Men? I don’t think the show is gonna fly because the guys who work in his store are a pack of a-holes. If I wanted to spend time with a pack of a-holes, I’d go over to Nuv’s house where I can at least mooch free coke (yes, THAT coke) and steal things. Kevin Smith, I love ya but you’re getting difficult to defend anymore.

But wait, there’s more to talk about!

Brian Michael Bendis is only writing two good books anymore amirite? The entertaining but perpetually late Scarlet and Marvel’s newly-canceled Moon Knight. Moon Knight was a fun book from the get-go but the last issue (No. 9) was extraordinary. They’d been playing with Marc Spector’s schizophrenia (he thinks he’s either talking to or actually IS Captain America, Spider-Man and Wolverine throughout). But in the last issue the book took a hard shift in tone, things got super heavy and as a result it was one of the best books to come out that month. It’s just a shame that the title is getting the axe with issue 12. I think if Bendis had spent a little less time on the set-up and more time on the results and aftermath of Marc’s breakdown, the book would have flourished with the readers. Oh well, what can you do?

And, as always, in summation, if you’re still not reading Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s Batman, you’re still doing it wrong. Wronger than Nuv and Kev’s taste in comics combined! Issue six just dropped and it’s RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING so go buy it like crazy!

Nuv: YEP! While Scarlet sucks post-punk, faux-hawked, tofu dinky, Batman kicks your teeth straight down your throat with each and every issue and has you coming back for more, making “fell down the stairs” excuses in it’s defense, all 1950s-wife style and shit. Pretty much the only thing me and this crowhole are ALWAYS in agreement on: If you aren’t buying Batman, you’s a buster-ass, fool-ass, punk-ass, trick-ass bee-itch!

Alright, Kev. Sorry, I couldn’t avoid telling Ian he’s a fucktard. But hey champ, don’t fret! I didn’t forget that you wanted me to recommend some stuff to read that isn’t shitty, so PRESTO! Here’s a list of ten, no frills, no gimmicks, no Ian. Open wide! Here comes the airplane:

Batman • See above.
Justice League • Everything that made me fall in love with superhero comics as a kid, but modernized. Every issue feels like a summer blockbuster.
PunisherMAX • Every week that it came out, I would save this for last. And every issue I read would be accompanied by the sounds of me yelling “HOO-OO-WHA-A-A-TTHEFUUUUH?!” and “HOOO-O-O-LYSHIIIIT!!” out loud in equal doses, coupled with the clap+stomp of disbelief. I saved it for last because I knew, NO other comic in that pile was gonna top this. Or more accurately, sink to these depths. This is HBO’s Punisher: dirty, depraved, violent and brimming with cusswords. There’s an honest-to-goodness PUKE-FIGHT!! What more could you ask for?! It’s done now (RIP) so you can read the whole shit at once!
Uncanny X-Force • The writing and art on this absolutely floored me every single issue. Exciting, epic, grizzly, utterly unique and, well, uncanny. X-Force stands alone, and pisses on Liefeld’s grave.
Loose Ends • Southern crime-romance by way of Tarantino. The writing (by a phenomenal artist) on this was awesome! The art (by a different phenomenal artist) was stunning. The colours? Holy shit, the colours! I think they slid acid in the ink or some shit! Mind-boggling! Even the format of the comic itself is slick as Rick. 3 issues out, one to come. Loose Ends, you sultry bitch. I’ll hate to see you go, but I’ll love to watch you leave.
Criminal: The Last of the Innocent • Not buying the best Criminal series yet would be the true crime. Click here for the preview and peep away, pervert!
The Strange Talent of Luther Strode • Remember those old Charles Atlas ads in the backs of comics when we were kids? Imagine if they worked. Now take what you imagined and make it 1,000 times funnier and 1,000,000 times more ultra-violent! So, basically, it’s Ian’s complexion. (Fuck it! I had to slide ONE in there.)
Butcher Baker, The Righteous Maker • Pop-smut madness! The art is insanely brilliant, the story is brilliantly insane! Oh, and I haven’t even told you about the fucking TRUCK yet…
THE GHOST OF COMICS PAST: Umbrella Academy • These have actually been out for a few years, but I never go longer than a few months without re-reading them.
THE GHOST OF COMICS FUTURE: Parker: The Score • Scripts as ice cold as the main character and innovative illustration as intricate as the heists he pulls come together to form these graphic masterpieces. No surprise, considering Darwyn Cooke is a graphic master. The Hunter was great. The Outfit was the best thing published in 2010. The Score hits shelves (between the eyes, no doubt) this May.

How was that, princess? Bolded and colour-coded all pretty, just the way you like it! Alright, lights out now pumpkin. It’s way past your bed time. Daddy’s gotta go chase down Ian-wick and continue rubbing his nose in this Massive shit he just took on Daddy’s website. It’s the only way he’ll learn…

Sweet dreams, bitches!

– The Big Two

Top Ten Things You Missed in the First Five Issues!

No. 10 – Batman Fist-Fights His Entire Rogues Gallery

Both Paul Jenkins and Scott Snyder opted to open their books with a crazy rogues-gallery-on-the-loose scene. The difference being that Snyder wrote it better and Capullo drew it better than David Finch. Mr. Freeze and Clayface look amazing and Two-Face is super gruesome! Nothing beats how rad Killer Croc looks and when Batman boots his knee in, well, that’s just the icing on the cake. GOLD!

No. 9 – Batman Gets High (So High)

From the opening alley-fight to the Batcave, most of the first issue is super confined. Near the end though, Snyder gets Batman swinging up over Gotham and it’s really the first scene where you see what Capullo is capable of. People were worried that he’d go too over the top with a ridiculously long cape (like in Spawn) but he restrains himself. The care taken in choosing a great angle – and the inclusion of some well placed bats – make this a beautifully dynamic page.

No. 8 – Helicopter Smashed-In Motorcycle Jump

Too many writers focus on Batman the angry, broody nutcase. Snyder, on the other hand, has really played up the stuntman adventurer and it’s made the flagship Batman title infinitely more thrilling to read than any of the other three. Case in point: Issue #2 where Batman launches his motorcycle from the top of a train into the front of a helicopter. BAD ASS.

No. 7 – The Sad Tale of Alan Wayne

Early in the re-launch, Scott Snyder said his main goal was to drag Bruce Wayne from a place of comfort and confidence into the gutter of paranoia. The first time we see this is when he begins to realize that not only could the Court of Owls exist, but they may have been tormenting the entire city (including the Wayne family) for generations.

No. 6 – Those Sneaky Bastards!

Oh WHAT?! Not only do the Court of Owls exist, they’ve been occupying secret floors in all the Wayne buildings all over town for decades. Yeesh.

No. 5 – SHA-SHA-SHAKA-BOOOOOOOOOOM!

I’m a sucker for a great explosion and man, does Greg Capullo ever deliver a great one at the start of issue #4. Batman looks pissed right off as he flies through the air, and how cool is Snyder’s narration? “Most people assume the danger of a trip-wire lies in the blast. Not so. The real threat from a tripwire comes later…in the aftermath. The truth is, a trip-wire is a greater instrument of fear than violence. It demoralizes and terrorizes everyone in range, suggesting that the enemy knows the terrain better than you do, that this is their home, and they’re everywhere at once… ” Epic.

No. 4 – Bruce Wayne, Boy Detective

There’s a great aside in the fourth issue where Bruce (still in denial) tells Dick he knows for a fact that the Court of Owls never existed because he investigated them himself, as a child. Then the story cuts to a cool flashback of Lil’ Bruce, after his parents death, investigating the rumour of the Court to see if they had anything to do with his regrettable orphanization. Not a real word Microsoft Word? Whatever!

No. 3 – Bruce Through the Looking Glass (Or, As it Turns Out, Wall)

I guess it’s kind of hard to keep denying the Court when their Big Bad aka The Talon successfully stalks you through the sewers like a punk and puts your ass through a wall. Plus while you were flailing around he stole your utility belt like he was taking candy from a baby. Embarrassing! Also, you know I like a lot of black in my comic books. Batman stories should have a lot of shadow, and Capullo keeps it BLACK and makes sure that his readers get shoved down the well with their hero.

No.2 – That Creepy Goddamned Eyeball!

The fifth issue finds Batman trapped in a labyrinth for days, wrecked on drugged water and tormented by room after room of light he can’t hide or sleep in. The pages rotate willy-nilly throughout the issue setting up a very creepy experience for character and reader alike. What’s really creepy, though, was the decision of Snyder and Capullo to bust out one of Batman’s eye covers and leave one crazed eye exposed all issue. It’s a trick we’ve all seen a bunch of times with Spider-Man, but there’s something so alarming about it happening to Batman. Eerie, unsettling and awesome.

No. 1 – The Best Cliffhangers Since the Movie Cliffhanger

Apparently Scott Snyder is a huge fan of Stephen King and it really shows in the way he ends almost every issue with a big fat cliffhanger. King ends almost all of his chapters with a shock too, and the next thing you know you’ve been up all night reading friggin’ Cujo or whatever. Anyway cliffhangers done properly are one of the most entertaining literary devices going, and at this point it’s safe to say Scott Snyder is doing it TOTALLY RIGHT. Did you enjoy watching the Court of Owls torment poor ol’ Batman to the point of insanity? No? Okay, well now we’re just going to stab the crap out of him and leave you hanging for a month. Sound good? JESUS SNYDER!

And that’s it! Another bad-ass top-ten list courtesy of a guy who loves making lists about comics instead of writing real articles on meaningful topics. But hey, it sure-as-shit beats all this football talk. Amirite? Batman #6 comes out in two weeks!

Put one in the air!

– Ian

Nuv: I commissioned Romita Jr. to do ten prints of you getting kill-fucked by the shit-monster from Weird Science (aka Bill Paxton) your mom (aka Bill Paxton). They’re being hung up on your wall high enough so you can’t reach them (6″ off the ground) as we speak.

Ian: Ian intro (done) Nuv wasting time and air (yep) and: Let’s do this!

Arthur “Art” Adams – Scarlet Witch

Ian: With an ever-changing sense of design, Art Adams has been an innovator in the comics industry since the mid-eighties. While a lot of his contemporaries (Rob Liefeld, Erik Larsen, etc.) fell into the trap of sticking to the ridiculously outdated look of the 1990’s, Adams paid tribute to pin-up artists of the past while pioneering his own style and producing some of the most beautiful cover work in comics today. Case in point, Wanda’s extraordinary rack from the cover of Avengers: The Children’s Crusade No. 3. Yowza!

Stanley “Artgerm” Lau – Mina Harker

Ian: According to Artgerm’s deviantArt, he did this sketch of Mina Harker (from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) at five in the morning in 45 minutes. If that doesn’t blow your mind, nothing will. Also, Mina Harker is my second-favourite character in Alan Moore’s best work (coming in just behind Captain Nemo). What do you got to say about that, Nuv “Pubegerm” Takhar?

Nuv: Nothing much. I won’t mention that a LOT of characters cum in just behind you. No need. My next choice will piss you off on enough levels all by itself…

Frank Quitely – Alan Moore

Nuv: The weird Wiccan writer responsible for arguably the greatest works in the medium, (Watchmen, The Killing Joke, his beard) as depicted by one of the most consistently original, amazing and innovative artists in the medium. From his unique figures to his detailed structures to the interesting framing and masterful pacing of his panel-to-panel storytelling, Frank Quitely is quite frankly 14,000 times the man Ian will ever be. And that’s just in height!

Chris Samnee – Daredevil

Ian: I love Chris Samnee and I love Daredevil and I hate Nuv, and therefore I love this picture. BOOM! DESCRIPTION DONE! In all seriousness though, no one working in the industry can touch what Chris Samnee can do with two-tone, two-dimensional images. Everything he draws is visually unique and this piece (a commission, I think) is no exception.

Cliff Chiang – Felicia Book

Ian: Cliff Chiang’s variant cover for American Vampire: Survival of the Fittest No. 1 is the kind of thing that gets fanboys in a lot of trouble. Generally I steer clear of variants, but this is the kind of image that’ll send a man trolling eBay like he’s Nuv in a tranny shop, and spending more money than he should. And it doesn’t help that vampire hunter Felicia Book is possibly the best character in the whole series.

Cliff Chiang – The DC Runaways

Nuv: “Hello Daddy, Hello Mom!” Cliff reimagines some of DC’s super heroines as the teen-rebel girl group, The Runaways. Also rad? He gets to draw one of them (Wonder Woman) monthly in her ongoing series. It’s less 70s, but no less bad-ass. Cherry!

Rafael Albuquerque – American Vampire 1955

Nuv: The first Rafael on this list, but not the last! Albuquerque’s been a BEAST on AV from day one, but my love of the 1950s made these two covers grab a stake and carve a special place in my heart. Stay gold, Rafael, stay gold.

Darwyn Cooke – Sue Storm

Ian: It probably took Darwyn Cooke less than five minutes to complete this convention sketch, but if he had one, I’d probably give Nuv’s left nut to own it. So that’s how THAT goes.

Francis Manapul – Wonder Woman

Ian: I already wish Manapul was on a book that I cared about and this image just makes it all the worse. As much as I love his art on The Flash, I care about the character about as much as I care about Nuv (not at all) and I’d much rather see him working on something else. For example, how does a guy draw a Wonder Woman pin-up THIS AMAZING and not get handed that book outright?

Nuv: Uhh, ’cause Cliff Chiang’s already killing it on that book. And ’cause Flash is consistently amazing with Manapul at the helm. I think the real question is: how do some people look directly at you without puking outright?!

Ian: Spoken like a true dickhead, Nuv. Touché.

Dustin Harbin – Tyrannosaurus Bats!

Nuv: I purchased Harbin’s “Behold! The Dinosaurs!” for my daughter’s bedroom, and this is the first print that’s gonna go up on my next kid’s wall. Harbin’s art gives me the same feeling I used to get reading Calvin & Hobbes. Spiff!

Andrew Hou – Wolverine

Nuv: Shee-it, we got mo’ dinosaurs than a MU’FUCKER ’round here, pa’tner! This shit is crack to anyone who used to be a 5 year old boy. And choosing to just show the before and after, leaving the actual battle to the imagination? Well played, Andrew!

Henrik Sahlstrom – Lobster Johnson

Ian: Who in the hell is Henrik Sahlstrom? I don’t know either but I hope he makes the CEO’s from Marvel, DC, Dark Horse and Image fist-fight each other to secure his services.

JC Richard – Fortress of Solitude

Nuv: A classy widescreen presentation of Superman’s home in the North Pole, with a barely perceptible red, blue and yellow streak flying off in the upper right corner. Fool them adult motherfuckers with this tasteful, minimalist painting, a grown-up way to display your childish tastes.

Ian: Your mom’s a widescreen presentation.

Jock – Hanna Promo Posters

Ian: I’ve never been very impressed with Jock as an interior artist, but his covers are consistently amazing and so, it would seem, is his corporate ad-work. I loved the movie Hanna, and when I saw that Jock had done a series of Hanna-inspired promo posters, well, like I wish Nuv would do next time he’s near a window, I flipped right out. Great stuff!

Nuv: Nobody’s ever been very impressed with Ian’s jock.

Dan McDaid – Michael Jackson

Nuv: The funk of forty thousand years, bitches! I did a fuckin’ high kick just like Michael when I first laid eyes on this pop masterpiece. (Too bad Ian wasn’t standing in for the other lead in this piece.) McDaid is the correct answer to the question “Who’s Bad?!”

Eric Canete – Luke Cage

Nuv: Sweet Christmas! Ian lost a bet and had to be nice to me for a week. It happened to be a week where he would be attending a comic convention that the inimitable Eric Canete was also attending. BOOM: signed print of Luke Cage fighting three tigers like a BOSS. Paid for by Ian. Enjoyed by Nuv.

Phil Noto – Jean Grey

Ian: Phil Noto is a modern great. Every comic book cover (and interior) he does is extraordinary and I’d honestly buy just about anything he put pencil to. He also maintains two awesome Tumblr pages (1 and 2) where he regularly posts new images that will inspire you to either a) become a better artist or b) quit drawing forever. Why? Because Phil Noto is the king.

Phil Noto – Super(Mad)Man

Nuv: Noto does indeed wield his pencil with an iron fist. I’ve always dug this pic, portraying Mad Men’s Jon Hamm as a commanding, stern-but-just Man of Steel. Anyone who’s heard this dream casting call (including Noto, apparently) agrees that it’s a perfect fit. Like Ian’s mouth and peens.

Ian: And like Nuv’s neck and a noose.

Sam Wolfe Connelly – Nightcrawler

Ian: Sam Wolfe Connelly has a style that will immediately remind you of James Jean and Joao Ruas. You guys, I’m talking about gorgeous graphite and digital colour works! He also has a habit of using Marvel characters as his subjects, which pretty much makes him a genius. Love this Nightcrawler? I knew you would! For more examples, check out his Captain America and Wolverine pieces! Holy smokes!

Rafael Grampa – Batman

Ian: Rafael #2! His last name is fuckin’ GRAMPA! And like most Grampas everything he does is tougher than anything you’ll EVER do. Now get off his damn lawn! Damn kids.

Kagan McLeod – The History of Hip Hop

Nuv: Kagan not only put together the tome of amazingness that is infinite Kung Fu, he not only illustrated a flyer for the Toronto Ghostface Killer show last year that belongs in a fucking museum, he not only seduced your woman with his pen and slapped your little brother with his deadly art hand, he also constructed THE GREATEST POSTER OF ALL TIME! The History of Hip Hop is exactly that: edutainment in the form of the headshots of 469 (!!!) rap icons on one side, facts and recommended listening for every one of ‘em on the reverse, and supreme quality to match the sheer quantity. It ACTUALLY might be bigger than Hip Hop, word to Dead Prez! Kagan was nice enough to sell me a few (so I could frame both sides) AND he even threw in a few extra for YOU crumbs, just ’cause he’s Nicer than Pete! You want one? Here’s how…

All you gotta do is comment below with your own hip hop history. Tell us who the first rapper you remember hearing was, and the one song of theirs you recommend. The first three mofos to do so, WIN THE POSTER FREE OF CHARGE*. Ready, set, SKIP IAN’S PARAGRAPH!
*shipping not included

Ian: Well that’s it for now! But don’t worry folks, my folder of awesome comic book art is huge and my predilection for not writing real articles in a timely manner will ensure that we’ll have plenty more art shows as the year goes on. Think of it as the Review 2 a Kill equivalent of a sitcom clip-show. Except, you know, not sucky to the max.

Put two in the air!

– Ian

Here’s a bunch of stuff I thought was pretty swell in 2011!

Best Writer – Scott Snyder (American Vampire, Batman, Severed, Swamp Thing)

It would be impossible for this category to go to anyone other than Scott Snyder. Over the course of the year he kept his American Vampire series fresh and engaging, dragged Swamp Thing from the depths and made him awesome again, wrote hands-down the best Batman book of the relaunch (and, in my opinion, the best Batman book ever written) and still found time to pen a seven-issue horror series called Severed. 2011 was Scott Snyder’s year and I can’t wait to read more of his great stuff in 2012.

Best Interior Artist – Stuart Immonen (Fear Itself)

Both Marvel and DC published some great looking books this year, but as far as WOW! factor goes, you just can’t beat Stuart Immonen’s seven-issue run on Matt Fraction’s Fear Itself event. Everyone who knows me knows I don’t generally go in for the big events, but this one really grabbed me and I’m sure most of the reason it did was thanks to Immonen’s knack for drawing jaw-dropping fight scenes. I literally had to slow myself down as I read these books because I was so stoked to turn the page and see what was coming next. Immonen is the man, and I’ll read anything he draws.

Best Colourist – Francesco Francavilla (Black Panther, Detective Comics)

Whenever you see a “Best Colourist” category, you almost always see Dave Stewart as the winner. Sorry Dave, not this time! Anyone who’s picked up a copy of Black Panther or Detective Comics in the last twelve months will instantly recognize Francesco Francavilla’s flashy use of colour. ESPECIALLY those deep reds and oranges. Don’t get me wrong, Dave Stewart is a perfect colourist, but Francavilla is a flamboyant colourist. On anyone else’s brush his colours simply wouldn’t work, but somehow he makes them look incredible on every page. Francavilla! Winner!

Best Inker – Jonathan Glapion (Batman)

Greg Capullo is doing an incredible job of pencilling DC’s flagship Batman title. Everyone knows that! But I don’t think enough credit is being given to his inker Jonathan Glapion. There’s a reason that book looks so great, and it’s almost entirely the way Glapion sets the mood with those deep, heavy blacks. I can’t remember another inker having such a careful hand with darkness and shadow since Mike Mignola and to be perfectly honest, Glapion might be better than Mignola. Yeah that’s right! I said it!

Best New Kid on the Block – Mahmud A. Asrar (Supergirl)

The biggest surprise coming out of the DC relaunch, for me, was Mahmud Asrar’s Supergirl art. I originally added this book to the pull-list for that kid Venus Toshiba, but after reading the first couple of pages, oh man, I just wasn’t ready for the jealousy. Asrar isn’t technically a new kid, having set foot in Image’s door back in 2007, but he’s made a real name for himself at DC in 2012 by producing one of the best looking books of the relaunch. Think Tim Sale-meets-Francis Manapul and you’re in the right ballpark. Amazing stuff that may prove detrimental to my marriage.

Best Cover – Adam Hughes (Batgirl No. 4)

This was a close call and could just as easily been Joao Ruas‘ beautiful piece for Fables #107. But instead I chose this cover because more than any other piece of art this year, Adam Hughes‘ Batgirl #4 cover embodied the bold spirit of everything DC Comics got right this year. Rebooting their entire line of comics back to #1, reinventing each and every hero (at the expense of alienating crusty old fanboys) and making their comics accessible to all new readers for the first time in decades took some balls. This cover doesn’t just depict Barbara Gordon(!) kicking the Mirror’s face right in. No, this cover visually represents DC Comics kicking their naysayer’s faces right in.

Best Single Issue – Hellboy: The Fury #3 (Dark Horse)

Hellboy died! For real! Wow! And what a beautifully written and illustrated end it was. Fulfilling his own destiny, Hellboy fights and destroys Nimue the dragon Queen of Blood at Ragna Rok, but has his heart removed and taken down to Hell by her spirit. There has never been a more brilliant or pitch-perfect end to a character in the history of comic books as Mike Mignola once again brings the medium to an all-new level. Duncan Fegredo, who for years now has been his brilliant apprentice, turns in the best pages since his astonishing debut on the title in 2007. This comic was hands-down the best single book released in 2011.

Best Continuing Series – The Mighty Thor (Marvel)

I love this book! It started off great under the team of Matt Fraction and Olivier Coipel, and it continues being great under Fraction and the (newly returned) Pasqual Ferry. Like it was for a lot of people, 2012 was the year I became a Thor fan and with great writing like this it’s no wonder. Who knew my buddy Jason Copland could be so right about one thing and be so wrong about another?

Best Limited Series – American Vampire: Survival of the Fittest (Vertigo / DC)

I’m the kind of sucker that will always buy a spin-off of a comic I like, despite the fact that they’re almost always shoddily-written with B-list art. Well I guess nobody told Scott Snyder the way these things are supposed to work, because that kid sat down and wrote the best five-issue mini-series I’ve ever read. Right from the Felicia Book opening dream sequence (Yowza!) to the giant vampire / sunlight raygun nazi kill-a-thon, this book is one hell of a good time. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that Sean Murphy absolutely DESTROYS THE DC UNIVERSE when it comes to drawing the kinds of things that make eyes worth having. This series, start-to-finish was an absolute win.

Best Collection – Batman: The Black Mirror (DC)

Being the type who tries to collect everything in single issues, I only placed one new graphic novel on my bookshelf this year. But that one book was a real hum-dinger! For Christmas my folks bought me the collected Batman: The Black Mirror Ultimate Boner Edition (UBE) hardcover. I’m not gonna lie to you folks, I totally blew it when it came to picking this up when it ran for almost an entire year. Every month Detective Comics would come out and every month I’d look at it and think “I should be reading this book.” Well it turns out I was right the whole time. Snyder, Jock and Francavilla (aka the DC Holy Trinity) are the only ingredients you need for the tastiest collection of the year.

Biggest Character Comeback – Aquaman (DC)

Never.
In my life.
Did I ever.
Ever think I’d ever buy (let alone enjoy) an Aquaman comic book. Everyone knows Aquaman is a goof. Even kids don’t like Aquaman. And I never understood the appeal of Geoff Johns either. I always thought Johns was the kind of guy who wrote comics for the old-school fanboys. For the guys who’d been reading the book for thirty years and knew all the subtle references I was sure I wasn’t getting. So what does Johns do? He celebrates DC’s New 52 relaunch by relaunching the most inaccessible character of all time and making him AWESOME?! By writing an awful character so well that the first issue is currently flipping on eBay for FIFTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! Well played Johns. Well played.

Best Kung Fu – Shang-Chi (Marvel)

Well, the suits at Marvel seem determined to ruin Iron Fist completely (White and gold? Really? Like the original costume wasn’t wack enough?), but at least writers and artists are still flying Shang-Chi under the radar and keeping him cool. This summer’s Spider Island (non-) event was kind of ho-hum, but the three issue Deadly Hands of Kung Fu spin-off featuring Shang Chi and the Bride of Nine Spiders was awesome sauce! Sebastian Fiumara’s art was moody and creepy and at the same time kicky and punchy. What more could anyone ask for? I guess Secret Avengers #18. Speaking of which…

Best Series I Shouldn’t Have Cancelled – Secret Avengers (Marvel)

I started collecting Secret Avengers during the big Avengers re-launch of 2010 but it was one of the books that got culled due to it’s inherent meh-ness and my newfound spirit of financial prudency (I was broke). But lo and behold! The last five issues have been an absolute gold mine of awesome storytelling thanks to Warren Ellis and incredible art courtesy of Jamie McKelvie, Kev Walker, David Aja, Michael Lark and Alex Maleev respectively. I don’t know why Marvel would put such a great roster of talent on this book and leave the main Avengers title to that no-talent hack, but it doesn’t really matter. I should have kept buying this book in 2011.

Biggest Surprise of the Year – Avenging Spider-Man (Marvel)

Everyone hits that point with a superhero where they say “I’ve read every possible story I’d ever need to read with this character, so I quit forever.” For me, that was Spider-Man. I could only read so many stories about Peter, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, poor dead Uncle Ben and dear old Aunt May before I finally said “Enough is enough. No more Spider-Man comics.” And then comes Zeb Wells and Joe Madureira in 2011 with a new title called Avenging Spider-Man and there I go, reaching for my wallet to buy my first Spider-Man comic book in over a decade. What can I say? It’s probably the best book Marvel released all year, in terms of pure F-U-N. Exciting, dynamic art backed up with snappy and often hilarous writing. Avenging Spider-Man is the essence of what the character should be, with none of the sappy navel-gazing.

And that’s it! My Best-Of article for 2011! Maybe one day you’ll get Nuv’s list if they ever find where I buried his body and implant the sum of his knowledge and consciousness into a Commodore 64. But he’d probably just say he liked some bull-crap comics like Daken: Dark Wolverine or X-Force. WHATEVER!

Put one in the air!

– Ian

The Marvelous Land of Oz & Ozma of Oz by Eric Shanower and Skottie Young

I tend to veer away from children’s comics (and children in general) unless there’s something in it for me. I really enjoyed Thor: The Mighty Avenger because of Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee, and because it was well written for people of all ages, and beautifully illustrated. Same goes for Shanower and Young’s adaptations of L. Frank Baum’s Oz series. There aren’t a lot of collections out there that I consider perfect, but 2009’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is just that. Whimsical, clever, scary, adorable and perfect. So Santa, if you’re listening, I’ll take the next two in hardcover please!

Batman: The Black Mirror by Scott Snyder, Jock and Francesco Francavilla

Way back in November of 2010, Scott Snyder and Jock kicked off their highly praised 10-issue run on Detective comics. Every month a new issue would come out and every month I’d think to myself “I should be buying this book.” Well, woulda-coulda-shoulda but ultimately didn’t. Fast forward to now where I’ve got this ridiculous man-crush on Snyder thanks to his current Batman run and now I want to read every Batman book he’s ever written. Luckily DC has released a very nice hardcover compilation of Snyder’s run called Batman: The Black Mirror and it’s at the very top of my Christmas list. In fact, I’d say I want it even more than Nuv wants that Baywatch Mitch Buchannon 12″ David Hasselhoff doll.

Richard Stark’s Parker: The Martini Edition by Darwyn Cooke

If you love Darwyn Cooke so much, why don’t you marry him? Well maybe I would have if Marsha hadn’t beaten me to the punch all those years ago! REGARDLESS, I have the first two Parker books on my bookshelf already (The Hunter and The Outfit) but that doesn’t stop me from wanting the oversized slipcover collection sittin’ up proud on my shelf beside my oversized slipcover of DC: The New Frontier. I’ve been good all year, fat man!

Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson

Sure Dorkin used to get a stocking full of coal every year for his half-assed attempts at porn comics and his perpetually shit-talkin’ Milk and Cheese comics, but lately I’ll bet he’s been getting some nice schwag. Why? Because he teamed up with Jill Thompson and they created the cutest series ever! Brave puppies who investigate paranormal phenomenon! Could you just die?! I first read a Beasts of Burden story when they teamed up with Hellboy in a Dark Horse one-shot last year. Now I want to read all of their awesome adventures!

Supermarket by Brian Wood and Kristian Donaldson

I’ve never read this book by Wood and Donaldson, but I’ve loved everything else they’ve ever done together, so why not this? Also, I’m over-the-moon with the announcement of their newest collaboration The Massive, so I really want to play catch-up and check out Supermarket before the first of The Massive prequels hit in Dark Horse Presents #8.  Brian Wood, you’re the greatest and may the executives at DC / Vertigo receive a great big box of JACK SQUAT for Christmas for cancelling Northlanders and showing you the door. We’ll show ‘em Bri.  We’ll show ‘em.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill

I’m pretty much in the same boat as anyone who thinks Alan Moore has lost it completely. I mean Jesus the Birthday Boy, what a grumpy old curmudgeon. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t write some great comic books back in the day. I’ve read the first two League of Extraordinary Gentlemen graphic novels half a dozen times and despite the fact that they’re a couple of my favourite books of all time, I’ve still never owned my own copies. That needs to be rectified! This Christmas! Anyone?!

Anyhoo, that’s my list! Until next time friends!

– Ian

Santa Claus image courtesy of the ridiculously talented Robb Mommaerts

ANYWAY, I think I’ll take a week and think about the new stuff I’d like to see on my bookshelf before the end of the year and get back to you folks next week. As for THIS WEEK, I’m going to help you guys out. You know how you always end up getting a novelty scarf or some other dumb shit because somebody asked you what you wanted under the tree and you blanked hard? Well forget that! Here’s a quick summary of books you should ask for. Print it out! Keep it in your front pants pocket!

Bat-Manga! by Chip Kidd

I know I’ve said a thousand times that I can’t stand manga or the people who like it. So what is this yuletide hypocrisy?! Well, for those that ain’t hip, Bat-Manga! is a rad-ass compilation of late-1960’s Batman stories FROM JAPAN! They’re totally awesome! The creator Jiro Kuwata basically decided that Batman’s rogue’s gallery wouldn’t fly with Japanese audiences, so he made up a bunch of bat-shit crazy new villains for him to fight. You get to see Robin say stuff like “Lord Death Man came back to life using secret yoga tricks…” and the margins have awesome facts like “At the turn of the Meiji Era, all kinds of watermelons were brought in from America, and their prices dropped because they became so abundant.” I guess these were included to make comics seem more educational to parents and teachers? Even the art is unique and not the derivative crap you see in every single manga book everywhere now. AMAZING!

Batman: Ego by Darwyn Cooke

This just wouldn’t be an Explosivo list if it didn’t feature at least one Darwyn Cooke book. Not many people own Batman: Ego and that’s a serious problem. Wanna know why Cooke intends to spend years drawing a comic about Parker, a character no one under 50 cares about? Because he’s just not getting enough love for his superhero comics. Like Nuv’s claims of heterosexuality, that last fact probably isn’t true. What is true is that Batman: Ego is an amazing little compilation of Cooke’s Batman / Catwoman work which also features a story he wrote that Tim Sale illustrated! The book also happens to feature one of my favourite Caped Crusader minis of all time: Deja Vu.

I Shall Destroy All the Civilized Planets! by Fletcher Hanks

Speaking of effed up old comics, you’d have to search long and hard for a weirder book than Fletcher Hanks’ I Shall Destroy All the Civilized Planets. In the early days of comic strips, Hanks created a whole pack of bizarre heroes like Stardust, Big Red and Fantomah and turned them loose on the cowards, Nuvs and crooks of the world. The capers are preposterous for sure, but it’s the punishments doled out by the heroes that are truly outrageous. People get their heads thrown into space, some get locked in a cave with cobras, others are turned into people-sicles and melted to death. Strange stuff from the frontiers of comics and definitely worth owning, if only to weird out your friends.

Mouse Guard: Fall 1152 and Winter 1152 by David Petersen

Not to be confused with The Mice Templar, which is a rip-off of Mouse Guard, which is a rip-off of Redwall whose author, Brian Jacques is himself a huge rip-off of Patrick Stewart. You can always find David Petersen’s first two hardcover collections on Amazon for a great price, and that’s what you should tell the people who are buying you presents in order to make them do your bidding. This comic series is awesome and features brave (and adorable!) mice doing awesome stuff like fighting owls and trying not to starve/freeze to death. It’s super sweet and Petersen is a great artist, even if he’s a jerk to people who try to chat with him at airports.

Wednesday Comics by Everyone!

Wednesday Comics was one of the best ideas DC ever had. A weekly newspaper-strip style comic that featured the who’s who of writers and artists working on the who’s who of characters. The only thing that was kinda wack was the fragile newspaper format, but that was also a big part of the charm. But then guess what? The good folks at DC compiled all 12 issues into a super-oversized hardcover collection that really showcases the great art and vibrant colours that kinda got muddied down on the newsprint. Anyway, Hawkman fighting a T-Rex is enough to make the book worthwhile by itself. Make other people buy this for you!

So yes, it’s a short list but it’s dynamite! Basically my ultimate goal for you is to make your graphic novel shelf look as awesome as mine. Forcing your loved ones to buy you these books is a great start.

Until next week chums!

– Ian

Seven Warriors review OVER!

Rolling on the Marvel train, have you had a chance to check out Daredevil yet? The fifth issue just came out with Marcos Martin taking over the pencilling duties and you know what? IT’S STILL THE BEST COMIC MARVEL IS PUTTING OUT. You almost can’t tell the difference between Paolo Rivera and Marcos Martin’s styles and that’s a very good thing indeed. The issue has a bit of romance (way to go Foggy Nelson!) and a whole lot of action (way to go Foggy Nelson!) You know, people always accuse Daredevil of being a half-assed Batman rip-off, but you know what? Your face is a half-assed Batman rip-off.

Let’s talk about more Marvel stuff! Captain America and Bucky #623, y’all! Sure, I only started picking up this book because Chris Samnee was drawing it, but if he and Ed Brubaker aren’t immediately handed Eisner awards for this issue I don’t know what. This issue finds Bucky leading a rescue mission into what he soon finds out is a Nazi concentration camp and I don’t know if Brubaker was reading a bunch of Art Speigelman’s stuff before he wrote this one, but man, is it heavy. Much more serious than anything I’ve ever read by Bru in the past (and I’ve read almost everything). And Samnee, who usually brings a sense of light-hearteness to everything he draws, really brings the horror of the Holocaust home. Despite the tone and the subject matter though, the issue isn’t miserable to read, and it’s probably the best pencil work of Samnee’s career. Altogether, one of those comic book surprises that makes picking up new titles so rewarding.

Oh, and speaking of the “best comic book a publisher is putting out” anyone heard about this DC comic book called Batman written by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo? Well the kids at R2AK lost our collective shit after the first issue came out and babies, I’m here to tell you that the second issue is every bit as perfect as the first. If I had to drop every comic book except for one, Batman would be the winner. Simple as that. Go buy it! Please! I’m begging you to do yourself a favour and go buy the first two books right now! I mean jeez, issue two features Batman ripping around on the Batcycle (on top of a frickin’ TRAIN) playing chicken with a frickin’ helicopter. YES! YES! AND YES!

Now, not to take a turn to negative-town, but I was SO ON-BOARD with Voodoo until the last panel of the second issue. What the shit DC?

And to wrap it up on a Marvel note, did you guys happen to check out the first issue of Wolverine and the X-Men? Now, y’all know I personally didn’t care for the Schism event, but I was always excited about the aftermath. Well this comic delivers in a great big way! First off, of the two titles (Uncanny X-Men #1 being the other) this one landed the best writer – Jason Aaron – and BY FAR the best artist – Chris Bachalo. Also, the best assembled team. Seriously, not to disparage the “other half” of X-Fandom, but who would choose Uncanny over Wolverine and the X-Men? Nobody. It’s an extra-sized issue that follows Headmaster Logan(!) and Headmistress Kitty Pryde as they lead a couple of inspectors on a disastrous tour through the newly-built Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Calamity central! What a fun issue. I can’t wait to read more of this!

And that’s it for the news! I was away last week receiving the Pulitzer Prize for awesome comic-book journalism, and while I was gone you guys were left to suffer through an article consisting of a grown man’s obsession with Prince(?!) and a run-down of the questionable-at-best rappers coming to town. Yeesh… But don’t you worry kids! Daddy’s back and it’s allllllllllll gonna be okaaaaay.

– Ian